The Bag Man!

Marquitos and Celina Show Off the Flower Pouch

Bill Bird is the bag man -- and so is nephew Marquitos -- pictured here with his flower bag creation. It's rare when the new dog teaches an old dog some new tricks -- but that's exactly what happened this past weekend in the Bird Back 40.

I suppose a (short) explanation is needed.

I had never considered using bags to grow flowers or produce before until I spotted a photo of a bag in use some years ago while thumbing through one of the gazillions of gardening magazines we have strewn about the house (these things never get tossed -- they just get shoved into unused corners). This particular bag was covered with ripe strawberries -- and the particular advertisement was aimed at growers who had limited space.

I don't necessarily have limited space (though I am filling it up fast) -- but the thought of growing strawberries or flowers along the fence line did intrigue me.

Gaviota Strawberry Crowns

I have a lot of fence. My drip irrigation lines are already bolted to the fence. Possibilities abound.

Although the creators of the "Topsy Turvey" tomato creation offer a similar creation (strawberry grow bags) -- I wasn't about to blow $5 to $10 for just one bag. Bill Bird isn't just frugal. He's CHEAP! Ask the wife that is Venus -- and the rather ingenious plan to stick her diamond wedding ring in a box of Kentucky Fried Chicken (she didn't find it until she had consumed the mashed potatoes. Hey, priorities are priorities!).

Secondly -- I didn't want to plant the kind of strawberries that you find at your local nursery. Those are fine I suppose -- but I wanted something special. I wanted the varieties that you see in those one or two acre strawberry farms strewn across the Sacramento and San Joaquin Valleys. Know what I'm talking about? They are the plants that yield big, fat, juicy, lip-smacking strawberries that fresh fruit lovers dream about over the winter months.

Lip-Smacking Albion Strawberries

There's just one problem: Those varieties are "protected." Specifically developed by UC Davis, cultivars with legendary names like Chandler, Albion and Gaviota are NOT easy to find. The growers who maintain those one or two acre strawberry farms will be happy to sell you a flat of strawberries. But they stop short at selling a plant. I should know -- I tried -- and I failed -- MISERABLY.

Help would come in the form of a co-worker by the name of Nghia (Nee-Ah) Demovic (I call her DemoNvic because she takes great pleasure in making me look like a fool). Born in Saigon before the fall of Vietnam, Nghia immigrated to the United States when she was still a child. Despite the challenges that these children faced, Nghia easily transitioned from Eastern to Western Culture and is one of the top communications professionals working in California's State Capitol today.

But she also still has a firm command of the Vietnamese language -- which I put to good use. She could talk to the Vietnamese and Hmong farmers in ways that I could not. And -- in the space of an hour -- she managed to find what I could not discover over the space of six months: a source for the UC Cultivars.

Albion Strawberry Crowns Planted Beneath Apple Trees

I was like a kid at Christmas as I browsed through the Sakuma Brothers Strawberry Farm website. There they were -- the UC cultivars I had been looking for. And -- at a price of $5 or $6 for ten crowns (plants)? The price was right down Bill Bird's Alley of Cheapness. I couldn't order them fast enough.

As for the grow bags? Google is your friend. Once I started googling the terms of "grow bags" and "strawberries" and weeding through multiple advertisements for the Topsy Turvey strawberry bag and its inflated price -- I spotted something familiar. It was the bag that I had spotted in that gardening magazine years earlier.

The bag in question is called Original Al's Flower Pouch. And -- at a price of a buck a bag -- it was well within my price range. There are many outlets for the Flower Pouch, and some sellers will attempt to charge you more than a buck a bag, but keep looking. That's the nice thing about free market competition. Someone is always going to undercut the other guy.

Original Al's Flower Pouch-10 slots

Original Al's Flower Pouch contains anywhere from five, six or ten different slits or holes. These are very small. The first problem I would run into is, how do I fit that fat bundle of flower roots through that tiny hole? Should I fill the bag with dirt first and then plant? Or should I find a way to shove the plants into those tiny openings first -- then fill it with dirt?

The bag could not tell me. It was just a bag. Bags don't talk. And the bag did not come with instructions.

My first inclination was to rip the root ball of the petunia starter plants I'd purchased into two different pieces. But that wasn't easy. I nearly destroyed the first plant I tried this "trick" with. As a matter of fact, it's still trying to recover.

Petunia Starter Plants

It would take the advice of a seven-year old nephew to crack this nut. "Why not squeeze them," he asked in an innocent voice. I initially waved him off with a "no, that won't work" type of adult response when I discovered, to my horror, that he had already squeezed one root ball into the shape of a popsicle. I watched this boy -- in wonder -- as he slid that starter plant effortlessly inside that small hole. The base of the plant anchored itself to the outside of the bag, and the root ball, once inside, expanded to the point where it could not slip back out.

The kid is a genius.

In no time at all -- the kid who had all the answers managed to fill up all ten slots -- fill the flower pouch with dirt and hang it against a fence.

More Strawberries!

Venus and I would repeat the same kind of trick the next day with Albion Strawberry crowns. This was a bit trickier as we had to fill the bag half full with dirt first -- before planting the crowns -- then praying that they wouldn't fall out as we turned the bag up after planting and proceeded to fill it to the top with additional planter mix..

The crowns didn't move.

And so my good gardening friends -- there you have it. Bill & Venus Bird have graduated to "bag man" and "bag lady" status. There are eight more flower pouches to fill. What should we try next?

We are taking suggestions!

One Garden Project Leads Too....

Ronald Reagan

Former President Ronald Reagan once remarked that; "Regulations are like spores of a fungus -- they settle anywhere and everywhere and create more spores..."

Now -- despite how you may feel personally about the 40th President of the United States and the 33rd Governor of California (he does tend to elicit the best and worst out of people) -- he could have just as easily been talking about gardening.

Replace the term "regulations" with "gardening projects" and you have a statement that is probably more truthful than Reagan's original quote.

How do I know this? From experience of course!

New Artichoke Bed?

Case in point? The gardening "bed" located to your immediate left. This "bed" is the latest edition to our backyard garden. Constructed from CHEAP Home Depot brand Redwood fenceboard (did I say CHEAP?) -- Venus and I filled this bed with planter mix from Hasties Capitol Sand and Gravel just this past spring (I think the planter mix may have cost more than the box).

What was the new box for? I'm glad you asked. I had intended to move some artichoke plants from the overcrowded artichoke bed to your right -- over into the new box. But there was just one -- small problem.

Overcrowded Artichoke Bed

You really shouldn't attempt to transplant artichoke plants in the spring. I've learned that failure of a project through experience. Nope -- your best bet is to "divide and conquer" in the fall -- after the main artichoke plants have succumbed to the harsh Sacramento Valley summertime heat -- and the root systems are sending up replacements by the dozens.

So -- what to do with the new box then? Venus and I let "the kid" -- nephew Marquitos Stromberg -- plant the new box with a variety of spring seeds ranging from carrots to parsnips and anything and everything in between. Not just any carrots either. Normal carrots are boring. The boy was into those funky carrots called "Atomic Red" and those fancy yellow types named "Solar" or "Sunshine."

The nephew did a better job than I expected. Because when it came time to pull up the nephew's seed starting project -- well -- the wife that is Venus and I encountered one small problem.

Sunshine Yellow Carrots

Call it a monster sized carrot and turnip harvest. When I say monster -- I mean MONSTER. I've never grown carrots THIS LARGE -- nor in this LARGE A NUMBER.

"What am I going to do with this pile of produce now," I wondered. Remember! The original project was to transplant artichokes. Suddenly -- an unforseen gardening project leapt onto Bill Bird's radar screen. Life had given me carrots -- a fair amount of parsnips and some fat turnips hidden in the back.

Lastly -- as I grabbed a whithering basil plant that had clearly reached the end of its season -- a friendly reminder buzzed by my ear. It was a bee. But not just any old bee. It was one of MY BEES -- a bee from the Hello Kitty Hive. And -- as I stared intently as the basil flowers protruding from three fading basil plants -- I spotted another -- and yet another -- and yet one more.

Surprise! You've Got Parsnips!

I suddenly realized that I was about to pull out an important pollen source that bees from my backyard hive were utilizing at the moment. It's the Fall Season folks. Pollen sources are drying up fast. Bees are flying longer distances and in greater numbers in the quest to store up pollen and honey in time for the winter season.

I just couldn't pull those basil plants out -- not now anyway. So -- they stayed -- which created yet ANOTHER garden project for the day.

See what I'm getting at?

The job of transplanting artichokes from one bed to another is actually quite simple. It's almost impossible to kill an artichoke plant. I know because I've tried. They didn't like that one encounter with the lawnmower (a mistake) -- nor did they appreciate a spray-bath of Roundup (another mistake).

Divide and Conquer!

Oh -- sure -- they'll look unhappy at first. But they always seem to bounce back. The scientist who predicted that only cockroaches would survive a nuclear holocaust obviously never had an artichoke plant in the backyard. These things are rather indestructable.

Another tidbit that I've discovered through the years is that artichokes LOVE room. The more you give them -- the bigger they will get -- which leads to larger and more tastier harvests. Many people have asked me how much room an artichoke plant needs and my response has always been; "how much room do you have?" Because an artichoke will fill up that space rather quickly and rampage into other areas where you may not want them.

Clean Bed Ready for Winter!

The best way to remove an artichoke is to remove a portion of the root system that the plant protruding above the ground is attached too. This is easier said than done -- and can require a bit of tugging and maybe a stick of dynamite or two before you hear that satisfying CRACK!

From that point -- you simply move that chunk of root system and plant over to the new bed -- dig an appropriate-sized hole and plant. Make sure the root system is buried under an inch or two of soil -- with the plant still above ground.

How will you know if you've taken the right steps? Trust me -- the plant will let you know. For -- if you return the next morning and find your transplants DEAD and FLATTENED just like this -- you've done the right job.

Unhappy Artichoke Transplants

Seriously! Those plants that had been so full of life and vigor the previous day will droop to the ground and fall over flat. They'll give you that accusing "Why Did You Move Me" look -- and will let you know they were much happier where they had been before.

Don't despair kids! It only looks like you've killed it. In time? New sprouts will begin to emerge from the center of the plant. By this December? I'll have artichoke plants loving our cool Sacramento winter weather. And by next spring? Hopefully -- a record artichoke harvest from not just one bed -- but two.

Two is twice as nice!

Gardening Round II -- The Brats Take Over

Kids...

Can't live without them. Can't shoot them.

My apologies. It appears that line is reserved for wives.

Now that the parents of six year old Marquitos and three year old Celina are no longer concerned that I'm going to brainwash those young minds with bad Republican ideas (Hey Kids! Offshore oil drilling is good for the environment!) -- we're getting a healthy dose of the niece and nephew this year.

We could take the kids on a series of fun adventures like the zoo and outdoor play areas -- but who are you kidding? Kids are free labor man. Give a six year old boy the option of going to the zoo or "hey, look at that dirt pile," guess which option wins?

The kids are gardeners by default. No shame here whatsoever.

Actually -- to be honest? It's the three year old girl that was more interested in the big pile of planter mix dirt than the six year old boy. Oh -- sure - he loved playing "King of the Mountain" from time to time. But after getting his first taste of planting seeds last summer -- Marquitos was back for more in a big way this year.

Actually? For his age? He's quite advanced. I couldn't be more proud. There's a strange sense of accomplishment here that I cannot explain to you. It does bring tears to my eyes though. That much is true. I don't have children. But I'm actually teaching him something useful -- other than the "perfect pour" from the kegerator.

Of course -- he's getting pretty good at that I must say -- but I'll save that for the "Beer Blog."

I didn't know first grade graduates could be so advanced. Marquitos can read a package of seeds and understand where and when to plant. He can also plant in some mighty straight rows -- as evidenced by the rows of radishes, carrots, green onions, red leaf lettuce, beets and other vegetables that are coming up in straight lines.

They're teaching reading skills to first graders now? Really? I suppose I was a late bloomer for not learning this valued skill until college -- but that's another story for another day.

Despite his expertise in the garden -- Venus kept a close eye on him -- that much is sure. But it's almost as if she didn't really need to be there. And that's the wonderful thing. He almost didn't need us. We supplied the tools -- the seeds -- the dirt in the raised beds and that little boy went right to work. This is his second effort at planting following hit and miss training efforts last year (Why Kitty Hide?). The lessons appear to have paid off ten-fold. Marquitos is a natural. The lessons have sunk in. The kid is going to be working the dirt for a long time.

As for his sister? Not as much interest this year - although she did enjoy handing seed packets to her brother. She wasn't at all interested in planting -- preferring instead to charge up that mountain of leftover planter mix in the center of the backyard.

I was going to spread it out around the yard anyway. Why not let her take a crack at it?

I actually missed having her take part in the planting party. There's nothing quite like watching a bush bean seed emerge in the bed set aside for corn and wonder, "how did that get there?" I would later learn that she loved planting bush bean seeds so much -- she planted them in every corner of the yard.

At first -- I was a tad annoyed. I'll admit it. I'm Mr. "this goes there" and "that goes here." But there's something precious about a child's first planting efforts. Who knows? Maybe she got away with something when my back was turned at the kegerator.

Off on the kegerator tangent again? My apologies.

As for Marquitos? Well -- he just couldn't get enough of the gardening effort -- despite two solid days in the backyard. Who can waste time when there's radish seeds to plant? Oh -- and what about those watermelon seeds? Do those tomato starter plants need planting somewhere?

Marquitos is a Champion Seed Planter at a very young age. It appears that Venus and I have won half the battle. The kid understands what a radish is. He understands how to plant it. He understands where to plant it. He even knows when to plant.

Getting him to actually eat the garden wonders that he is responsible for?

That -- my friends -- is another battle for another day.

One victory at a time.

DILL.......LICIOUS!!!!

My thanks to Karen at the Yahoo Group VeggiePatch for a delicious suggestion on how to best make use of some early pickling cucumbers.

Venus and I planted a LOT of pickling cucumbers this spring, in anticipation of a large canning project in another month or two. And while those plants are now starting to produce -- they're not quite producing in the numbers needed for a large 12-or-24 quart, Boiling Water Bath (BWB), canning project.

So, what does one do with the first pickling cukes that are now more than ready to come off the vine? Save them? Freeze them? Toss them? No my friends, when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. And that's exactly what Venus and I did, with the expert assistance of our 5-year old nephew, Marquitos Stromberg.

The answer gardening guys and gals is to your left: Three DILL....LICIOUS jars of a simple canning recipe titled Clausen Kosher Dill Pickles. This is a quick and easy canning project that takes less than 20 minutes to complete from start to finish, and utilizes everything you have growing fresh in the backyard.

For instance, the recipe called for quite a bit of fresh dill. Fresh dill weed you say? Hmm.....Not a problem. You see, Venus planted this patch of dill weed about a month ago, and it's been a big hit with bees and butterflies alike. You'll even see a hummingbird, from time to time, flitting about the flowers.

The rest of this dill, and probably a bit more than this, will be used later this summer for larger canning efforts of various types of pickles.

The recipe also called for quite a bit of fresh garlic, which was again, not a huge problem since the wife and I just last week harvested an entire crop of INCHELIUM RED garlic -- some of the hottest, tastiest garlic I've ever had.

Don't look for it in Raleys. Don't look for it in Safeway. You won't find it there. If you want INCHELIUM RED garlic, you either grow it on your own in the backyard, or if you're very lucky, you might find it somewhere in a Farmer's Market.

This is great fun for a 5-year old boy, who just loves digging about the cucumber patch in search of pickling cucumbers to be used in this project. Marquitos also loves wandering about the dill weed patch (what kid doesn't love digging in weed patches or digging anywhere for that matter?) finding just the right sprig or flower needed.

The rest of the project is fairly easy. Although you do use regular "canning" jars for a project like this, they're not really required. These are also commonly known as "refrigerator pickles." They won't keep as long as a regular canning project, but look at the jar that the nephew is proudly clutching. Do you think those will last past the 4th of July?

Nope, I didn't think so either.

And now, courtesy of the Yahoo Group VeggiePatch, I give you the recipe and instructions for and easy and simple pickling project:

Clausen Kosher Dill Pickles

Ingredients:
2 dill flowers
2 garlic cloves, peeled and halved
1- 1/4 (8-10) pickling cucumbers
6 long spring fresh dill
1 tbsp coarse kosher salt
1/2 cup white vinegar

Put dill flowers and garlic in bottom of mason jar, and add as many cucumbers that will fit in the jar (whole cucumbers)

Put sprigs of dill in the center of the cucumber filled jar and add salt, vinegar and fill jar with boiled water that is now cool to within 1/8th of top.

Put on seal and ring, shake to dissolve salt, set upside down on counter away from sunlight and heat. Let sit 4-5 days flipping the jar either upright or upside down each day. Let sit upright 2 more days then refrigerate.

Bill's Note: I live for strong garlic taste, so I used a bit more and crushed the garlic with a garlic press directly inside the jar.

Why Kitty Hide?

It's a question that I cannot answer: "Why Kitty Hide?"

It's also a question, in restrospect, that I miss and could hear over and over again.

The wife that is Venus and I hosted our niece and nephew this weekend at our North Natomas home. The parents of the 2-year old girl (think TERRIBLE TWO'S) and 5-year old boy needed a bit of a break to be honest. We were more than happy to help them out.

Venus and I both know that the seeds that bring about a love for gardening must be nurtured at an early age. Our niece and nephew had never planted a garden before, until this weekend, and they seemed to enjoy it immensely.

I think they also loved running from "The Scarecrow" monster, a motion detection system that shoots a stream of water at whatever crosses its path. Still, they seemed to have a lot of fun planting the final crops of the 2009 garden -- a bed for our pickling cucumbers.

Our pickling efforts went fairly well last year, our first, but we learned that not all cucumbers make great pickles. That's why we ordered more than one variety of pickling cucumbers last winter, and had the kids plant our seed-starting efforts this weekend.

While little Celina loved running about the garden, she was most interested in the cats. And she simply could not understand why they would run in terror from this shrieking little girl. And so, throughout the weekend, this innocent little girl would look me straight in the eye and ask: "Why Kitty Hide?"

I learned that there was no good answer to this puzzling question. In fact, it didn't matter what answer I gave, as it usually prompted the response of: "Why Kitty Hide?"

And not just any kitty, but all four of them.

So, while we did our best to distract Celina with efforts such as planting pole beans, she still couldn't get over the fact that these flurry, fluffy creatures didn't want to come anywhere near her. That's why I hear the question over and over again today: "Why Kitty Hide?"

As it turns out -- both little Mark and little Celina do have a bit of that gardening gene in them. Celina, however, isn't quite ready to put anything harvested from the garden in her mouth at this point (not many 2-year olds are ready at age 2), but Marquitos was a different story. I was surprised.

It took a long time before Bill Bird would let a tomato come near him. I certainly wasn't eating garden produce at age 5. It would take several more years of cajoling and outright threats from my mother before I dared eat a slice of cucumber. But -- little Marky? He's different.

That little boy not only treasured the last cutting of broccoli from the garden, he proceeded to eat a great deal of it for dinner that night. Of course, it did help that his Aunt Venus prepared his most favorite meal of Mac N' Cheese, but it's rare to see a 5-year old boy not only consume garden produce, but actually like it.

But it didn't stop there. Not hardly. Mark was to discover the next day that he actually liked fresh peas from the garden. You could have knocked me over. I never would have believed it. A five year old boy picking pea pods, splitting them open, and devouring every pea inside? It took me years to get to that point.

Venus and I do not have children, yet. For most couples, acquiring children is akin to falling off a turnip truck. But for other couples, well, it can be a struggle. Put us in that "struggle" category. And, I think it's then that you come to realize that children are really God's greatest gift.

There is really nothing like teaching a child to dig a small hole for a starter plant or seed. The joy of watching a young child tear into a pea pod, or hunger for something else you have just harvested from the backyard is hard to describe. But there is a sense of satisfaction. The hard work of previous weekends is paying off. It's paying off in ways you never imagined.

I know that the weekend we spent with our niece and nephew helped plant the seeds for future gardens in future years. I know that they look forward to coming back later this summer, when they will see the seeds that they planted this spring flower and produce. Hopefully, they'll get to sample their work, and begin to understand the answers to some of the gardening questions they have.

But -- there is one question that can probably never be answered.

Why Kitty Hide?