Plums are for Drinkin!

Santa Rosa Plum Cocktails

Silly rabbit! Trix are for kids! And fresh plums from the yard aren't for munching -- although they do make a nice snack in the morning, afternoon or night. No -- fresh plums are for drinking! And I have the proof. Look Ma! Photos! Know what that is? That my friends is a plum cocktail. You might also find a Plum-Basil Gin Fizz in there somewhere.

And you just might find the recipes for the lip-smacking concoctions at the bottom of the page. Provided you're lucky.

Santa Rosa Plum Tree

In order to "make" a cocktail such as these -- several items are needed. Gin would be a good start. And with good gin available just about everywhere you look in the Sacramento area -- finding a bottle of the good stuff shouldn't be all that difficult. As for the other items? You'll probably need a fresh lime or two (lime juice works too), some sprigs of basil. And you'll need to harvest about 10-15 large, tree-ripened Santa Rosa plums from your tree in the front yard.

Don't have a Santa Rosa plum tree in your front yard? How about the back yard? No? Then, I'm sorry, but as the Soup Nazi from Seinfeld fame once lectured: "No plum cocktails for you!" Because, I'm kinda sorry to say this, but fresh, tree-ripened Santa Rosa plums are an absolute MUST for preparing drinks like these.

Ripe Santa Rosa Plums

The good, ol' Santa Rosa plum tree put out a right fine crop this year - and it was good to see. Last year I let a tree trimmer go to work on it because I allowed it to grow beyond my control. That's never a good idea. Because -- this was one excited tree trimmer. And he did a right fine job of cutting it back, sure enough. Unfortunately, he did a little bit too good of a job. We didn't get many plums last year.

Ahem, we all learn from our mistakes.

Sliced Plums Added to Simple Syrup Mixture

So -- this year I sent Mr. Hyperactive Tree Trimmer into retirement. I trimmed it myself last summer -- several times actually. But I made sure to keep enough fruiting branches around so I would hopefully enjoy a nice crop in 2014. Well, whaddya know? Tree trimming isn't so difficult after all. You just have to do it. That tree isn't going to trim itself.

Although the tree is raided regularly by a family of shrieking mockingbirds, who also dive-bomb the neighborhood cats incessantly, there's enough to go around. I must admit -- I've been enjoying a number of at-work breakfast breaks involving sliced Santa Rosa plums. There's always five or six for snacking on when I get home.

Notice That Color?

And did I mention the plum cocktails?

Unlike other fruit-producing trees that grace the Bird Back 40 -- the Santa Rosa plum isn't all that unique. In fact, it's one of the most common plum trees found in homes from one end of the valley to another. It loves our weather. It grows quickly. Treat it with a little love and care -- and it will reward you with sweet, fresh, dripping fruit goodness.

Like just about every other plum tree on the planet, it can and will drop plums on the grass or a sidewalk if it's planted too close to one. The birds also peck their share out of the tree. But that's about the only drawback that I can think of. And, if you don't mind picking up a few plums that have fallen to the ground -- well -- consider it a nice fruit producer for the month of June.

Plums Are For Drinking!

As for the drinks? I discovered those last year, online. If you just feed your Google search monster with the words Santa Rosa plums and gin, a multitude of recipes pop up. I find that many of them come from the Deep South -- or even southwest. And some even have quite the history, such as the Sugar Plum Dreams Cocktail, which was first served in 1862.

And did I fail to mention just how good plum cocktails are? If I did, forgive me. They are a treat not to be missed. So -- find yourself some Santa Rosa plums or any other plum that's in season right now and follow my path straight where I land on my face at some point.

I guess you can have one too many plum-tini's...

PLUM COCKTAIL:

Plum Cocktails

(prepare in advance)

- Heat over medium heat 1 1/4 cups sugar and 1 1/2 cups water in a saucepan until sugar dissolves

- Bring to a boil, then stir in 10-15 plums (pitted and cut into wedges). I also mashed the mixture with a potato masher

- Remove from heat and refrigerate until cold

(to serve)

- Fill glasses with ice

- Squeeze 1 lime wedge into each glass

- Stir in 1/4 cup plum syrup and 1 oz gin into each glass

- Add sparking water to fill, stir

The plum syrup, lime juice and gin can be combined in a pitcher for easy entertaining. Just fill glasses with desired amount and top off with sparkling water.

PLUM-BASIL GIN FIZZ:

MAKES 1 DRINK

INGREDIENTS

1 ripe plum, pitted, half diced and half sliced

5 large basil leaves

2 oz. gin

1 oz. simple syrup

Seltzer, to top drink

Lime wedge, for garnish

INSTRUCTIONS

In a cocktail shaker, muddle the diced plum and basil leaves. Fill the shaker with ice; add the gin & simple syrup. Place on the shaker lid and shake for 1 minute. Pour into a glass filled the sliced plum. Fill glass to the top with seltzer and garnish with lime wedge.

The One-Two Punch of Epic Crop Failure

A Plum Disaster: Snapped Branch

Yes -- it does indeed happen to the best of us. Or -- in my case -- the worst of us. Not everything is a screaming success at the Bird Ranch for Wayward Heirloom tomato plants. That's all I ever let you hear about -- the screaming successes. There are failures. Trust me. There are failures and plenty of them.

But what happens when you combine an epic failure with a natural disaster? The end result is a dramatically reduced Santa Rosa plum crop. You know this crop. You know it well. It's the crop you've been tending and babying through the spring months. From the very first flower, to the first hint of fruit on a branch, it's the first tree you see every time you step outside the front door.

Hello Santa Rosa Plum Tree. How are you feeling today? That's a nice looking tree of fruit, my friend. I look forward to sampling some of it in a few months.

Avoidable Disaster Unless You're a Glutton

You see -- I talk to my fruit trees because -- well -- if you haven't guessed it by now -- there's this slight edge of insanity that runs in my family. We like talking to inanimate objects. We even think the family dog is listening to our deep conversations, when in all honesty, all the family dog can hear is "blah, blah, blah, FOOD!"

The pictures above right and to the left should more than demonstrate the first part of this year's tragedy. The broken branch picture above and the plums in the wastebasket are what greeted me when I arrived home from work a week ago last Friday. You see -- I had failed to cull the tree of plums properly. And this is what happens when you dismiss the talk of mentors who know more than you do. They say "cull, cull, cull," and you think: "blah, blah, blah, PLUMS!"

Plums Needlessly Gone to Waste

I had cast more than one nervous glance at those branches slowly bending in a downward direction thanks to the weight of a massive plum crop. But rather than react with a cull party, I prayed for salvation. I hoped the branches would survive long enough for that massive load of plums to ripen and then: PLUM CITY!

I'm such a glutton.

But there would be no such plum party. Salvation would not arrive in the form that I expected, but I would hear from Mother Nature a short time later. First things first? I had a broken branch to deal with. There were a lot of plums to get off the ground. And there were other branches to save from a similar disaster. This wasn't the only bender. Others were straining under the size of the biggest Santa Rosa plum crop I've ever grown.

A Little Rope Goes a Long Way

Rather than taking the wife that is Venus out for a much deserved dinner out last Friday, I spent the hours cleaning plums off the grass, chopping up a broken branch and -- thanks to an assist from a friendly neighbor -- propping up other branches that were also close to snapping in two. I had already lost one branch loaded with plums. I dare not lose another. I might not get 80 plums off that branch. But at least I'll get ten, right?

Or so the thinking goes.

But that fickle thing called fate has a funny way of screwing with this thing called life. This wasn't the only disaster that would befall the Santa Rosa plum tree. It was the first of two big jolts that reduced what should have been a healthy crop to "better luck next year, kid."

AT&T Park: San Francisco

You see -- last weekend was a birthday weekend for yours truly. That's right. Bill Bird turned the ripe old age of 39. Again. I can't tell you how many times I've turned the ripe old age of 39. I've sort of lost count. But it was the anniversary of that date -- that much I can tell you. Since I am the luckiest man on the face of this planet, with the greatest wife in the entire universe, I was treated to a San Francisco Giants game the very next day.

A blast of wind greeted us as we pulled out of the driveway that Saturday. Both Venus and I agreed that if we had wind problems in the valley -- the Bay Area would probably be perfect. And it was. Sitting in those outfield bleacher seats, watching the Giants clobber the Rangers ("Whatsa Matter With Gentry??? He's a BUM!!!), was the best gift any 39 year plus man could ever ask for.

Wind and Plums do NOT Mix

There was no wind to worry about in the City by the Bay on that particular day -- but guess what? It was blowing pretty fierce through the Sacramento river bottom. Although I had prayed for salvation -- I got a surprise late spring sustained gust of wind instead. Wind and plums do not mix well. Wind tends to blow plums right off the tree.

And that is exactly what took place on Saturday, June 9th, 2012. While I was vainly chasing balls that Giants outfielder Angel Pagan was tossing into the centerfield bleacher seats, a rather unexpected jolt of wind blew through and blew what was left of the still unripened but oh-so-close Santa Rosa plum crop to the ground. The carpet of plums was so thick in some places that it covered the grass. I would spend that Sunday loading up the green waste can with what I had hoped to be a massive plum harvest.

Better Luck Next Year Kid

Those recipes I'd printed out for plumtinis? Plum cocktails? Plum punch? Plum cobbler? Those can wait for another year. While a few plums do remain, it's not going to be the large-scale harvest that I had hoped and dreamed for.

And that's my personal one-two punch of Santa Rose plum tree epic crop failure. Better luck next year kid.