Why is This Man Smiling?

Happy Honey Extractor at Work

His incredible weight loss secrets perchance? Mmmm....NO!

The wife that is Venus is rewarding me with a back rub? No again, since she's taking the picture.

The 49ers are winning? That very well could be, but again, no.

But there is a reason for this grin. I'm rich! I'm fabulously rich and wealthy! Not in money mind you, but in fresh, tasty, straight-from-the-backyard Hello Kitty Beehive, HONEY.

As for the picture above? Yes, that is me. Yes, I could stand to lose more than just a few pounds. But I am seated in front of a strange contraption known as an extractor. I had never heard of an extractor, and never had a use for an extractor until I got this crazy idea in my head some three years ago to manage a beehive.

Pure Honey is a Pretty Sight

How does one procure honey from a hive? One needs an "extractor." What is an extractor? If you combine the mental pictures of a large metal trash can and a ten-speed bike -- that's kind of what it's like. And it's the perfect way to remove large amounts of honey from honey-laden combs like the one pictured to your left in a very short period of time.

That honey capped frame, by the way, comes from the part of the beehive called the "honey super." Why do they call it a "honey super?" Why are you asking these questions? My short and sweet answer is: I have no clue why they call it that. Perhaps because it results in a lot of honey -- and such a development is just "super?"

Probably not.

Scraping Wax Capped Frames of Honey for Extraction

My hand was literally shaking with excitement, by the way, as I used a hard-wire brush to break into the white wax caps that held back a massive flow of golden-rich honey. This was a first for me. I'd never done anything like it before. But the time to procure honey from backyard hives had come and gone. It was late October. The weather had turned cold. Cold temperatures turn honey into the consistency and weight of a wet and sticky cement.

Have you ever tried pouring cement? I have. It ain't easy. It also takes a skill level that I never acquired and probably never will. This is why I don't pour wet cement anymore, unless I'm going to bury it in the form of a fence post for a grape arbor. You'll never see my shoddy cement work. It's buried. You'll only notice it when the fence falls over. Hah!

Neon Pink Hello Kitty Hive

Breaking into the Hello Kitty Hive also contained a surprise that I had not been expecting. Since the weather was cold -- I knew the colony must have clustered. I had not seen nary a bee fly in or out of the hive for about a week. This is normal activity during colder months. Bees cluster in a hive to protect the queen and keep her warm. My hope was that the bees had clustered near the bottom of the hive, which would make retrieval of the honey super that much easier.

That particular super is located at the top of the hive. My hope was I could dart in and out without the colony flying up to meet me, retrieve the super and the queen excluder and quickly make my exit.

WARNING! This box is HEAVY!

I'll never forget the rush I felt upon opening the top of that hive to look into the super for the first time since I'd placed it on top of the hive last spring. What had been nothing more than a simple box with ten empty frames had been transformed into a box containing ten white-capped frames of honey that weighed a good 50-60 lbs. It took all of my effort to lug that box off the hive and move it a good twenty feet away. So far, so good. The bees had not come up to greet the wife and I.

Removal of the queen excluder and the second hive body (which contained two year old honey) also went without a hitch. But that's when the first feelings of doubt began to wash over me. I should have seen at least one bee by now. Bees normally react with annoyance when a beekeeper disturbs the hive body. It's a natural reaction. Remember that bees are insects. They do not have individual minds or individual wills. Insects react instinctively. The first instinct of any honeybee is to protect the queen and hive. I should have at least encountered an angry buzz by now.

Frame of Wax-Capped Honey

We didn't hear a thing. That's bad news. If you don't hear bees buzzing, it means it's time to inspect the hive. This is something I hadn't done since last spring, when our very healthy and productive colony swarmed on four different occasions. Although beekeepers do their level best to keep a hive from swarming, it's part of the natural reproductive process. This is how new colonies form. If a colony swarms, it usually means you've got a champion queen inside that hive and she has produced so much new brood -- that it's time to split.

So what happened? I'm not really sure. But an inspection of the bottom hive body revealed a rather distressing sight. There was nary a bee to be found. There wasn't one single, solitary honeybee in that hive. There wasn't so much as a carcass. Short and sweet? They were gone. Why would a queen and colony leave a hive that they had packed with honey stores during the spring and summer? It's a vexing question and problem that affects commercial and hobbyist beekeepers. Successful colonies can collapse and vanish in the space of a month.

Frames Inside Extractor. Notice Honey at the Bottom?

This one vanished. But before vanishing -- they sure did leave behind a boatload of honey.

The first step in claiming this honey from the super was to warm it up. You can't extract honey that is the consistency of wet cement -- even with the powerful force of an extractor. Honey extracts easily when it is thin and pours easily. But it needs heat to reach this consistency -- and sustained heat at that.

The Bird family garage does double-duty for many things. It's not just a garage. It's a party room. It's a bar, complete with kegerator. It's a place to watch football on a flat-screen TV. It's a place for tools and garden implements AND neon signs for Red Stripe, Coors Light, Corona and the like. Short and sweet? It's not just a garage. It's a "GarageMahal."

By turning up the heat and letting the super sit in one place overnight, inside a well heated GarageMahal, the honey inside those white, wax-capped frames took on the kind of consistency that I wanted. It was soft, pliable and easy to work with. It also leaves behind a sticky mess, necessitating the use of a tarp normally reserved for paint jobs inside the house.

Three Frame Extractor With Spigot at Bottom

The extractor is a simple device that uses the force of gravity to remove honey from frames very quickly. The frames are first scraped with a wire brush to remove the wax cappings, then placed inside slots located inside the drum of the extractor. The top of the extractor is then covered, and at that point, it's muscle over matter. The operator cranks the handle at the top of the extractor, the frames inside whip round and round at high speeds, and the force of gravity sends the honey, wax and bits of pollen slinging to the sides of this modified trash can.

Here's a short, one-minute demo here.

The honey that collects at the bottom of this can drains through a spigot into anything you have available (a five gallon bucket works best) and the end result looks a lot like what is pictured above. You get a lot of honey mixed with bits of wax and pollen that also dislodged during the extraction process. Those bits wax and pollen are lighter than the honey, and will rise to the top of a bucket or one gallon container over a day or two. This makes it easier to dig out, but the honey still must be strained a second time. And even then, tiny particles of wax and pollen remain.

Extracted Honey Before Straining

My friends, I can tell you this much. There is nothing quite like honey freshly harvested from your own backyard hive. The taste is dramatically different from what is purchased in a store (many commercial honey products are mixed with corn syrup or other products). It also contains enzymes and pollens that are considered to be medicinal.

Honey that is allowed to stay in a comb stage for two years is far darker and far sweeter. I am not sure if this can be purchased commercially, I've never come across it before. It is truly something special and will make for some nice gifts during the Christmas season.

The Finished Product: Pure 100% Raw Honey

The bees inside that Hello Kitty Hive were extraordinarily productive. The extractor yielded about 60 lbs. of honey -- enough to fill a number of half gallon and one gallon jugs. I have never seen so much honey in my life and consider myself to be very fortunate indeed. While I am saddened that Sudden Colony Collapse Disorder (CCD) appears to have struck again, Venus and I will start with a new swarm again next spring.

Beekeeping is like a madness. Once it strikes, it never lets go.

SURPRISE, SURPRISE, SURPRISE!!!

Yes -- indeed -- it's a Gomer Pyle moment in the Backyard of Bird. Or -- I suppose you could also say -- "Just when you least expect it, *IT* happens."

*IT* is happening right now in the Bird Back 40 -- right underneath our very noses -- and to be honest boys and girls: I'm not really sure what to make of it nor what I should do next.

Ideas anyone? Buehler? Please leave them below in the circular file.

I had intended to prepare a special post this weekend -- with some special news indeed: The Hello Kitty Hive was back in action. Although Venus and I had come to a decision earlier this spring to not purchase another colony of bees -- a good gardening friend by the name of Garry Erck had another idea.

Garry -- an experienced beekeeper himself -- had taken an interest in our Hello Kitty Hive and the many challenges we faced last season -- our first as beekeepers. He exulted at the good news that came from the installation of a new queen. He communicated his sorrow when our hive "flew the coop" (Colony Collapse Disorder) last October.

Garry's plan this year was to capture at least five wild colonies -- also called swarms -- which are apparently in big numbers where he lives in the El Dorado County foothills. I say "big numbers" because Garry became so proficient at capturing swarms this spring and summer that he's wound up with nine colonies -- about four more than he really wanted.

Garry -- knowing of our misfortune -- had promised as early as April that he would try to secure a new colony for us. As time passed -- and I watched him blog about capture after capture -- I knew that at some point Garry would come calling in the direction of the Natomas Gardening Birds.

Sure enough -- the good news came in the form of an email about three weeks ago. "How would you like a new colony," Garry asked. Although Venus and I had made a decision to sit the summer out -- we also missed our bees very much. Not a weekend went by without one of us in front of the hive -- lamenting our loss -- or thinking about the colony we had tended the summer before.

So -- when the chance to get another colony landed on our front doorstep? We jumped at it!

That's right -- a new life for the Hello Kitty Hive! A new colony of bees! Would we have better luck this time? We were both certainly willing to give it a try! After all -- we do have that all important first year of experience now. So why not try, try again?

But -- Mother Nature it seems -- had other plans.

Venus and I started preparing the Hello Kitty Hive for the new colony on Tuesday night. We pulled the weeds around it -- wiped the outside down a bit with a damp cloth and also opened up the hive to make sure that no spiders had taken up residence inside (Black Widow spiders love bee hives -- FYI).

While we had the top open -- we both thought it prudent to remove yet one more frame of delicious -- Hello Kitty Hive -- honey. After all -- the previous colony had left us with ten packed frames? Why not take one or two and enjoy nature's bounty? The new colony can have the other eight frames we reasoned. Surely -- they wouldn't miss two?

Apparently not.

Proud readers: This is the sight that greeted us when Venus and I arrived home after work on Wednesday evening. That's right. Your eyes are not deceiving you. That is the Hello Kitty Hive. And yes -- it's covered with BEES.

Did Garry arrive early and surprise us with our new colony perhaps?

Uh -- no...

As I indicated earlier -- Mother Nature had "other plans." Those plans include a wild swarm of bees that discovered our hive -- discovered the open top -- discovered the eight remaining frames of honey and moved right on in and made themselves comfortable inside their brand new -- Hello Kitty Hive.

"No," we both thought. "This can't be." I reasoned that the bees all over the sides and in the frames of the hive must -- in fact -- be "robber bees." I had heard about them. Robber bees are bees from a strong hive -- that will sometimes attack a weak hive -- to get at the honey.

That must be it I reasoned: Robber Bees...

But as I took a closer look at the hive -- I noticed the clusters of honeybees on either side of the hive. That isn't normal behavior for "robber bees." No -- they go right on inside and help themselves to the honey on the frames. However -- it is normal behavior for bees to "cluster" around a new queen. It is the "bee way" of protecting the new leader from attack.

A new queen had discovered the Hello Kitty Hive. At least -- I think it's a new queen. To be brutally honest -- I'm not quite sure myself. But I do know that robber bees will leave and return to their own hives when the sun goes down. They don't stick around at night.

But these bees did. So did the clusters. As of this morning? They were swarming wildly above the open hive. You can actually see a few of them if you look closely enough at the photos.

"No," I thought -- still not believing my eyes. "This just can't be right," I reasoned. After all -- nary a bee had shown interest in the hive -- or the honey inside -- since the last colony left in October. This isn't due to a lack of bees in the Bird Back 40. We get swarms of them from other colonies that have discovered the pollinators in the vast backyard. Honeybees -- Mason Bees -- Carpenter Bees -- you name it and we have them.

So -- why now? At this very moment in time? Three days before Garry Erck was going to gift me with a new colony? Bees suddenly show up? A new queen? An actual wild swarm? I needed help. And when Bill Bird needs help -- he turns to his unfortunate mentor: Farmer Fred Hoffman.

Surely -- Fred would have an answer. Surely -- the guru of Northern California gardening could figure this one out for me. Right? Like so many times in the past?

Not this time. His response? "I only know who to call to get rid of swarms. 451-BEES."

Not that I want to get rid of a swarm mind you. I'd just like to really know what I have here. It appears that I will wait until Saturday -- when the more experienced beekeeper eye of Mr. Erck pays me a visit to tell me exactly what I have.

But as for now -- I give you -- the Hello Kitty Hive 2010 Edition.

Our Winter of Discontent

They're dead.

Gone.

Where? I don't know. All I can report at this point in time is that our Hello Kitty Beehive was empty when we checked it this morning. Other than four or five dead bees at the bottom of the hive -- there was nothing. Nada. Zip.

Where did they go? That's the $64 question boys and girls -- because I don't know. I can tell you that this hive was so full of bees this past September -- that the show they put on at night was enough to make anyone nervous. It wasn't unusual to encounter a mass of bees like this.

Venus and I had a strong -- crowded and somewhat aggressive beehive just two short months ago. But in the space of that time -- all of the bees that you see to your left vanished.

They didn't die (as far as I know). They just aren't there anymore.

The first hint that something might not be right in the hive came earlier this week when the new President of the Sacramento Area Beekeepers Association (SABA) came across a post on this blog titled "Forget About it Fishback!"

Let's just say the new President of SABA -- Brian Fishback -- wasn't all that pleased. And he let me know in the form of the following comment:

"Thank you for you kind words. It is warm and welcoming to know that this is how you treat people that you call upon for support. The fact of the matter is I obtain a lot of older, worn-out bee boxes, frames and tools from folks not finding the time or interest in beekeeping. Many of the colonies I obtain are infested, run-down and deprived by the time I get a call. So, what I providing is a service to the bees as well as to those who call upon me. I'm sorry that you feel this way. Maybe you can make a difference by holding an honorable position in the association as I do....Sincerely, Brian Fishback."

Oops.

It appears I touched a nerve. I didn't mean to do that. But sometimes -- well -- Bill Bird just sort of rubs people the wrong way. And -- what is largely "tongue in cheek" blog writing -- is taken quite seriously. I knew what had to be done.

I immediately called Brian at the number he left behind to profusely apologize. I told him that I didn't mean any offense -- and that my posting was merely a way to poke fun at people. But -- yes -- sometimes my "fun" can go a bit too far. I also told him the truth -- that I very much enjoyed and appreciated the support I had received from fellow beekeepers this summer. Without SABA -- the Hello Kitty Hive would have perished in June. That's the honest truth.

I think Brian appreciated the gesture -- and the apology. At that point -- the talk switched to bees and I told him about my reluctance to break into the hive to check on the bees due to some recent cold and nasty weather. During the last SABA meeting -- I had received this block of what's called "Pollen Patty," which I knew the hive would enjoy.

Brian advised me that I should have noticed bees flying in and out of the hive -- which I haven't seen since that blast of cold weather that the Sacramento area received in October. I knew the honey stores inside the hive were quite strong from my last check inside the hive in August -- and I knew the hive wasn't starving.

But the lack of activity? That concerned me. It concerned Brian as well -- who informed me that "his bees were flying today." He also related a somewhat scary story: He'd lost five of his hives in just the past month alone due to a condition called "Sudden Colony Collapse Disorder." This is the biggest problem facing hobbyist beekeepers and commercial Apiaries today. Normal, healthy, productive hives suddenly vanish without a trace.

Why is this happening? Nobody is quite sure -- but a great body of recent evidence points to a destructive little creature called the Varroa Mite. Beekeepers also refer to this pest as the Varroa Destructor -- because it can destroy entire colonies in a short matter of time. Invisible to the naked eye -- experienced beekeepers can spot evidence of the mite at work. But hobbyists such as Venus and I? The world clueless comes to mind.

Following Mr. Fishback's instructions to the letter -- my first move was to try to lift a corner of the hive. If it moved or lifted easily -- or weighed less than 20 lbs. (estimate) -- I was "in trouble" according to the SABA President. My hive, however? It wouldn't budge. I needed a shovel to lift a corner of it -- and by the time I finally got my fingers underneath the bottom board of the hive -- I knew it was more than 20 lbs. in weight.

Good news -- right?

Not so fast. The next move was to take my hive tool and pry off the top of the hive that the bees had long ago sealed with a sticky substance they secrete called "propolis." They had done an excellent job of sealing the top and bottom boards -- which was another good sign.

But when I finally cracked the top open -- well -- I instantly spotted "trouble" with a capital T. I should have seen a small mass of bees rising to the top to face the "human intruder." Instead -- Venus and I got nothing. And -- as I peered between the slats inside the hive looking for a mass of bees -- I found nothing.

No signs of life. A dead bee here or there. No spiders. No hive beetles. No mites. Nothing. The hive was devoid of life. What I found instead were combs that were rich with honey. I have a hive loaded with pollen and honey stores that would easily sustain a hive through the winter.

But the colony is gone. The queen is gone. There was no evidence whatsoever to support a scenario where the queen could have perished -- and worker bees attempted to create another. Instead I found empty comb in some places and many combs loaded with honey and pollen.

So -- what went wrong? You've got me. I don't think it was from lack of attention or lack of feeding. The bees had an ample supply of food inside the hive -- that much is evident. They had a healthy -- productive queen last summer -- as evidenced by masses of bees that would hang outside the hive entrance during those warm summer nights.

Does this spell the end of our beekeeping efforts? Honestly -- I can't tell you that right now. It's just too soon to say. It is somewhat depressing -- however -- to lose not one but two hives in the course of just one summer. It's time -- perhaps -- to take a break and think things over.

Perhaps I should have listened to Brian Fishback's generous offer after all.