Fear This Beard, Brian Wilson!!!

A Beard for Brian? I think not!

Just in time for the start of Major League Baseball season!!! A beard that you won't see Brian Wilson wearing on the mound for your San Francisco Giants anytime soon.

Can you only begin to imagine how they would react when he uncorks one of his famous fastballs?

I hope he has insurance.

My friends -- this is the vision that greeted me and the wonderful wife that is Venus when we returned to home to our North Natomas farm after a quick trip to East Sacramento last Sunday. Know what this is? In technical terms -- it's called a swarm.

It's also the result of a lazy or inattentive beekeeper. In case you're wondering? That would be yours truly.

The Feared Beard of Brian Wilson

In this particular case? This is a Prime Swarm -- which means about 60% of the worker bees have now departed our Hello Kitty Hive. But -- as bad as that sounds -- that's not the worst part. No -- the worst part is they take the old queen with them. And it's the old queen that's responsible for this brood beard that Brian Wilson will never touch.

Neighbor Greg DiBiase greeted us last Sunday with some interesting and distressing news. "Something is happening in your backyard," he told us. "Your bees put up a real racket this afternoon and were flying all over the place."

Bees flying all over the yard didn't neceesarily concern me. I had witnessed this many times before. A vast majority of the worker bees will pick a specific time of day to mass or fly around outside the hive. I've seen it many times before -- and it's just part of "bee behavior." It's also fun and fascinating to watch -- from a safe distance. Bill Bird is many things. Extraordinarily stupid isn't one of them.

But make a racket? Other than a normal buzzing sound -- even large swarms of bees don't put up much of a racket. The decibel levels will increase if I'm inspecting the hive for one reason or another -- but that's a given. Bees don't like intruders -- especially bear-shaped intruders like Bill Bird.

There is only one other instance where bees have been know to put up a racket or a ruckus. I have never witnessed it before -- but I've seen it in clips on youtube and other places. Bees make a high-pitched racket when they swarm out of a hive.

Bee Swarm on the O'Henry Peach Tree

And -- so -- when Greg informed me that he had not only witnessed a cloud of bees in the backyard -- but also reported a high pitched scream -- my first thought was "uh-oh." Upon stepping into the North Natomas Back 40 and turning a corner -- this is what greeted us. Sure enough -- the hive had swarmed. The old queen had left -- landed on a nearby peach tree -- and taken a good chunk of our Hello Kitty Hive with her.

This -- I might add -- was the first dry and sunny day of spring that we had experienced after two-weeks of seemingly non-stop rainfall and cold weather. It seemed our bees had been waiting for the right moment. And when opportunity knocked in the form of a nice day? BUZZ!

Of course -- I was unprepared. I have never witnessed a hive swarm before (and I still haven't to be honest -- because I missed this one). What does one do when a hive swarms? A Happy Dance? I think not. Can you approach a swarm like this? Good question! Do bees that swarm sting if you get too close? Another good question!

Up Close and Personal

I had a lot of questions on this day -- and very little in the way of answers. But the good thing is -- I was armed with the right bit of knowledge. I knew who to call -- and no -- it wasn't the Ghostbusters either.

Although my experience with a backyard hive has been short and sweet -- sweet like honey I might add -- I have managed to make a number of contacts. Garry Erck gifted me with this old queen and several frames of brood last summer from a wild swarm that he had captured near his home in Diamond Springs. I was starting to wonder if he wanted the old queen back.

If anyone was prepared to handle a swarm? It was Garry. But Diamond Springs is also a long haul away from North Natomas. Plus -- it was late Sunday afternoon.

Beekeeper Keith Scott with a gentle brush...

Fate would intervene in the form of another beekeeper -- a gentleman by the name of Keith Scott. Not only do the two plot against the rest of humanity together at Intel -- Keith was the "other half" of Garry's bee swarm collection hobby. I'd never met Keith -- but I sure did love stealing his engineering design for a contraption designed to grow tomatoes from seed.

Without engineers -- Bill Bird wouldn't have any original thoughts. File that one away for later.

But I digress. As luck would have it? Keith was in the neighborhood. Not only was Keith in the neighborhood -- he had everything he needed to catch a wild swarm. Why did he have all this stuff in the trunk of his car? Because Garry Erck told him to "be prepared."

See what I mean about plotting against the rest of humanity? These guys are good.

Keith sprays swarm with sugar water

It's often been said that if you ask ten beekeepers the same question regarding bees -- you're going to get ten entirely different answers. There is no tried and true method. There is no "Bible of Beekeeping." But there is a thing called "Bee Protocol." Part of bee protocol is this: The Beekeeper Who Traps the Swarm -- Keeps the Swarm.

It's not a part of the Ten Commandments as far as I know -- but it's a rule that is followed by most beekeepers religiously.

Plus -- not only was Bill Bird not prepared to trap a swarm -- he also wasn't prepared for a second hive in the backyard. Venus and I practice "The Highlander" form of maintaining a beehive: "There Can Be Only One." Therefore -- Keith got the swarm -- and my old queen to boot.

Plus -- he was prepared. He had the suit! He had the transport box! He had the brush! He had the sugar water. He also had some unsuspecting young boys who were only too happy to "give dad a hand." I'll never forget his instructions on that day: "Boy Number One! Step Forward! Hand me that frame! Now step back! Boy Number Two! Step Forward! Hand me your frame! Now step back!"

It's nice to be prepared...

I've never seen such artful precision out of young boys before. I should have Keith train my cats.

As it turns out -- the safest time to approach a mass of bees is right after they've swarmed. They have no hive to protect, therefore lack the instinct to defend a hive against an intruder. As long as I didn't get close to the queen? I could get as close as I wanted. Another beekeeper (Ernie Buda from the Sacramento Area Beekeepers Association) advised that I should "run my hands over them and let them crawl on me."

No thanks Mr. Beekeeper. I deferred to Keith and his moonsuit.

The former queen of the Hello Kitty Hive is now somewhere in a rural Roseville-area backyard. I have no doubt she is once again building up a champion hive. Perhaps -- if I'm lucky -- I might get her back someday. As for now? I have -- or soon will have -- her queen offspring.

At some point -- and it already may have happened during this past week -- a new queen will emerge from one of several queen cells that worker bees have undoubtedly prepared for just this type of circumstance. The new queen will emerge -- and her first task will be to search out and destroy other queen cells before other new queens can emerge.

If two queens are born at the same time -- there will be a battle royale for control of the Hello Kitty Hive. There is room for only one queen and one queen only.

If I had thought ahead? I'd put the whole kit n' kaboodle on pay-per-view TV and make bank!

But once again -- Bill Bird is not prepared.

The World Cup? It's in My Backyard!

Have you managed to tune into a World Cup game this summer? Do you hear the buzz? It's like you've been caught inside a hive of bees thanks to the incessant blowing of the Vuvuzela horns! Thanks to Diamond Springs gardener and honeybee swarm-trapper extraordinaire, Garry Erck -- I have bees.

Lots and lots of bees. There's an incessant hum emanating from the Backyard of Bird these days. Standing still earns a strafing attack from not one but several hundred bees that are feeding on frame after frame of delicious honey left behind by last year's colony. It's either a World Cup Final or I'm trapped inside multiple hives...

I suppose an explanation is in order...

A new colony of bees is now officially installed at the North Natomas Home of the Hello Kitty Hive. If you look closely at the photo to your left -- that's Garry -- giving the smoke treatment to a very agitated colony that was none too happy about being driven from one place to another.

Have you ever driven a cat to the veterinarian? It's the same type of distress and response. Except that cats don't sting. Bees do -- and they did. It's just what bees do. At any rate -- Garry quickly deduced that the bees that had taken over the Hello Kitty Hive a few days earlier were -- in fact -- robber bees and not a new swarm that had flown in to "take over."

How did Garry come to this conclusion? Because we got up earlier than the bees did man -- like WAAAYYY too early for Bill Bird. At 6 AM last Saturday morning Garry and I were staring into an empty Hello Kitty Hive box. Since the hive was empty -- we instantly knew that robber bees had taken control of the hive -- not a new swarm or a new queen.

So -- as you can tell in the above photo -- Garry removed the honey laden frames from the hive to keep the robber bees away and keep them occupied somewhere else. We put them against the fence instead -- and then proceeded to install the new colony.

Let me tell you something about Garry Erck: This man is committed. Or -- he should be. Garry doesn't believe in "suiting up" before working a hive. He's a "hands on" kinda guy -- as in "hands without gloves." So -- while Bill Bird put his girlie netting on and his gloves of iron -- Garry just smirked.

Our first task? Unpack the bee-covered frames from the transport hive and transfer them to their new -- bright pink -- Hello Kitty hive. And -- at the same time -- inspect each and every frame closely. We were looking for the queen -- which was no easy task. Here's why:

When a novice beekeeper purchases a new hive from a beekeeping business -- normally the queen of that particular hive comes clearly marked with a dot of neon green or blue paint on the backside of her abdomen. Queens ordinarily stand out from other bees if you know what to look for. But if your name is Bill or Venus -- thy name is ROOKIE -- therefore the dot of paint helps a great deal.

But in this case? The new colony was a gift. Garry trapped a wild swarm -- took it home -- adapted it to the standard Langstroth Hive and then delivered it to the home of Bill and Venus. The queen wasn't marked. It won't ever be marked because Bill Bird just isn't that brave (stupid is another good word to use). And I doubt the new queen is going to show up at my back door anytime soon with a sign that reads "PAINT ME!"

But there is some good news here. Garry spotted the queen on the third frame that we checked. Sure enough -- the little gal was there in all of her glory. She's a good looking little lady and sure does appear to like her new home very much. She's surrounded by attentive workers. Pollen sources are plentiful. There's a new pollen patty in the hive itself -- plus there's a fresh quart of sugar water delivered daily.

What more could a lady ask for? A Hello Kitty Mercedes? Don't give her any ideas!

But the news isn't all wonderful. Garry also spotted potential trouble in the form of a queen cell. Then he found another. He proceeded to quickly destroy both. What is a queen cell? The queen cell is actually normal, ordinary brood. But the workers are feeding this chosen brood a special substance called Royal Jelly. So -- instead of a new worker or drone bee -- what eventually hatches out of the cell is -- in fact -- a new queen.

Why are workers creating a new queen when one already exists? To give the new queen some company? Ummm....NOPE! There is only one queen per hive. Don't ask me why -- I didn't make the rules here. I just abide by them. But usually -- workers start creating queen cells when a hive gets overcrowded -- and that's when you get a swarm. The newly hatched queen leaves the hive -- along with about half the workers and the drones -- in search of a new home.

It's just the way Mother Nature works.

Can you stop bees from swarming? In some cases -- yes. The rule of thumb is this: If a hive box gets too crowded -- add another box on top -- a second story so to speak. It's generally thought that this relieves the perception of overcrowding -- and workers aren't so quick to start creating queen cells.

That's the thought anyway. And that's why the Hello Kitty Hive now has a bright pink second story -- filled with ten empty and inviting frames. It does appear that the colony is enjoying its new digs. They've moved right on in and up to the second story -- where we've also placed the sugar-feeder jar.

So -- this is why the Bird Back 40 is suddenly buzzing with activity. In three short years I've gone from no bees at all -- to bees everywhere. I've got thousands of bees in a double-deep (bee terminology) hive -- and thousands more robber bees covering and rooting after those frames of honey set against the back fence. There are bees here. There are bees there. There are bees everywhere.

Buzz! Buzz! Buzz! World Cup fans would feel right at home!

SURPRISE, SURPRISE, SURPRISE!!!

Yes -- indeed -- it's a Gomer Pyle moment in the Backyard of Bird. Or -- I suppose you could also say -- "Just when you least expect it, *IT* happens."

*IT* is happening right now in the Bird Back 40 -- right underneath our very noses -- and to be honest boys and girls: I'm not really sure what to make of it nor what I should do next.

Ideas anyone? Buehler? Please leave them below in the circular file.

I had intended to prepare a special post this weekend -- with some special news indeed: The Hello Kitty Hive was back in action. Although Venus and I had come to a decision earlier this spring to not purchase another colony of bees -- a good gardening friend by the name of Garry Erck had another idea.

Garry -- an experienced beekeeper himself -- had taken an interest in our Hello Kitty Hive and the many challenges we faced last season -- our first as beekeepers. He exulted at the good news that came from the installation of a new queen. He communicated his sorrow when our hive "flew the coop" (Colony Collapse Disorder) last October.

Garry's plan this year was to capture at least five wild colonies -- also called swarms -- which are apparently in big numbers where he lives in the El Dorado County foothills. I say "big numbers" because Garry became so proficient at capturing swarms this spring and summer that he's wound up with nine colonies -- about four more than he really wanted.

Garry -- knowing of our misfortune -- had promised as early as April that he would try to secure a new colony for us. As time passed -- and I watched him blog about capture after capture -- I knew that at some point Garry would come calling in the direction of the Natomas Gardening Birds.

Sure enough -- the good news came in the form of an email about three weeks ago. "How would you like a new colony," Garry asked. Although Venus and I had made a decision to sit the summer out -- we also missed our bees very much. Not a weekend went by without one of us in front of the hive -- lamenting our loss -- or thinking about the colony we had tended the summer before.

So -- when the chance to get another colony landed on our front doorstep? We jumped at it!

That's right -- a new life for the Hello Kitty Hive! A new colony of bees! Would we have better luck this time? We were both certainly willing to give it a try! After all -- we do have that all important first year of experience now. So why not try, try again?

But -- Mother Nature it seems -- had other plans.

Venus and I started preparing the Hello Kitty Hive for the new colony on Tuesday night. We pulled the weeds around it -- wiped the outside down a bit with a damp cloth and also opened up the hive to make sure that no spiders had taken up residence inside (Black Widow spiders love bee hives -- FYI).

While we had the top open -- we both thought it prudent to remove yet one more frame of delicious -- Hello Kitty Hive -- honey. After all -- the previous colony had left us with ten packed frames? Why not take one or two and enjoy nature's bounty? The new colony can have the other eight frames we reasoned. Surely -- they wouldn't miss two?

Apparently not.

Proud readers: This is the sight that greeted us when Venus and I arrived home after work on Wednesday evening. That's right. Your eyes are not deceiving you. That is the Hello Kitty Hive. And yes -- it's covered with BEES.

Did Garry arrive early and surprise us with our new colony perhaps?

Uh -- no...

As I indicated earlier -- Mother Nature had "other plans." Those plans include a wild swarm of bees that discovered our hive -- discovered the open top -- discovered the eight remaining frames of honey and moved right on in and made themselves comfortable inside their brand new -- Hello Kitty Hive.

"No," we both thought. "This can't be." I reasoned that the bees all over the sides and in the frames of the hive must -- in fact -- be "robber bees." I had heard about them. Robber bees are bees from a strong hive -- that will sometimes attack a weak hive -- to get at the honey.

That must be it I reasoned: Robber Bees...

But as I took a closer look at the hive -- I noticed the clusters of honeybees on either side of the hive. That isn't normal behavior for "robber bees." No -- they go right on inside and help themselves to the honey on the frames. However -- it is normal behavior for bees to "cluster" around a new queen. It is the "bee way" of protecting the new leader from attack.

A new queen had discovered the Hello Kitty Hive. At least -- I think it's a new queen. To be brutally honest -- I'm not quite sure myself. But I do know that robber bees will leave and return to their own hives when the sun goes down. They don't stick around at night.

But these bees did. So did the clusters. As of this morning? They were swarming wildly above the open hive. You can actually see a few of them if you look closely enough at the photos.

"No," I thought -- still not believing my eyes. "This just can't be right," I reasoned. After all -- nary a bee had shown interest in the hive -- or the honey inside -- since the last colony left in October. This isn't due to a lack of bees in the Bird Back 40. We get swarms of them from other colonies that have discovered the pollinators in the vast backyard. Honeybees -- Mason Bees -- Carpenter Bees -- you name it and we have them.

So -- why now? At this very moment in time? Three days before Garry Erck was going to gift me with a new colony? Bees suddenly show up? A new queen? An actual wild swarm? I needed help. And when Bill Bird needs help -- he turns to his unfortunate mentor: Farmer Fred Hoffman.

Surely -- Fred would have an answer. Surely -- the guru of Northern California gardening could figure this one out for me. Right? Like so many times in the past?

Not this time. His response? "I only know who to call to get rid of swarms. 451-BEES."

Not that I want to get rid of a swarm mind you. I'd just like to really know what I have here. It appears that I will wait until Saturday -- when the more experienced beekeeper eye of Mr. Erck pays me a visit to tell me exactly what I have.

But as for now -- I give you -- the Hello Kitty Hive 2010 Edition.

FROSTY Lives Here...

Not the Snow Man. No -- he lives somewhere else. Frosty that is. Somewhere -- where they actually get real SNOW. What we get in North Natomas is a hard frost. Yep -- snow falls in the Sacramento area once a generation.

What do the Birds get? Rain and frost. We didn't get any of what Garry Erck got up at his pad in Diamond Springs. Nope. Garry gets the REAL Winter Wonderland. He gets the "real" showstopper yard.

But us? Blah....

However -- the hard frost did some unfortunate things to our North Natomas gardening efforts. I would say the fall potato crop is probably done right about now -- judging from this picture to your left? What do you think?

Yeah -- the fall potato crop is HISTORY.

It's the same story with other fall and summer crops around the yard. Yes -- I kept half a bed of bell pepper plants around. Why not? They were still producing! Guess what? After last night? Not anymore. And that bed of tomatoes that I nurtured through Thanksgiving? Yeah -- it's given up the ghost as well.

Lots of work to be done. I see a well packed Green Waste can in my immediate future -- and perhaps some muddy shoes to go along with those efforts. It's just "that" time of year again.

It's the same sad story with most of the fruit and citrus trees -- plus other fall garden crops planted around the yard. The onions and garlic are anything but happy. The lettuce is wilting. The Baby Bok Choy has this accusing look on its face (at least that's the way Bill Bird sees it). The once bright green leaves on the Pomegranate tree have turned a sour yellow and are abandoning branches in droves. The roses are putting on their annual winter "Hasta La Vista, Baby" show.

The only thing that seems to be doing well are the artichoke plants. I'm not sure why they react like it's "fun in the sun" during a deep freeze -- but they do. They're pert, bright green and happy.

Venus and I didn't get around to covering anything in ye olde backyard. We were -- how do you put it -- on "holiday." Yes indeedy -- the most beautiful woman in the world and I drove north on Friday -- where we spent three incredible days in the Northern California vacation hotspot known as EUREKA!

What's that? When did Eureka suddenly become a vacation hotspot? How about when I said it was? That's the story I handed Venus anyways.

Although we heard plenty of warnings about this "impending" storm that was due to hit California Sunday night/Monday morning -- we awoke in our Three Star hotel known as the Red Lion Inn to a classic "Sun Storm." As in -- the sun was shining brightly Monday morning. There was no rain to speak of. Not even a hint of a snowflake.

We saw what we missed while driving home later that day -- and that's when my lovely bride snapped this lovely picture of yours truly. "Look at the camera and smile," she instructed. See how well I follow instructions?

The best part of our weekend trip? Other than the discovery of the Boathouse Bar & Grill in the Clear Lake community of Nice (Neese) -- it had to be that return drive on the Redwood Coastal Highway -- Highway 101. There's nothing quite like the view of snow-covered redwoods and a blanket of snow on the forest floor -- glistening in the morning sun during a leisurely drive down the coast.

Home again. I like it.