Garden Porn

It's that time of year in the Sacramento Valley where a thick layer of frost covers the backyard. You can see the white stuff on the ground, on the grass, covering the planter boxes and most of all: you can clearly see the look and dismay on the faces of our cats who meow plaintively to "turn the warm weather on."

Sorry, no such luck. Old man winter is here. The last of the summer garden has been ripped out. Those colorful rose bushes have been pruned back. The peach, cherry and other fruit producing trees are happily slumbering away. Winter is here.

What is a gardener to do then?

By this time, if you're seriously into the gardening movement, seed catalogs should be arriving in your mailbox by the armful. I'm talking names like Territorial Seed Company, Tomato Growers Supply, Totally Tomatoes, Pinetree Seeds, RH Shumway, Vermont Bean Seed Company, Johnny's Seeds, Seeds of Change and hundreds of others.

In short, it's time to order next year's summer garden. The weather is deathly cold now, but you know that first hint of spring is right around the corner, and if you're not prepared, tsk...tsk....tsk!

If you're anything like Venus and I -- you've got seed catalogs lying all over the house by now. You can find them on the coffee table, on the side tables, in the bedroom and, much to my wife's chagrin, sometimes in the bathroom (hey, sometimes reading material IS a necessity!). These catalogs come with brightly colored pictures of harvests that you can only dream of at this point in the gardening process, and all sorts of interesting possibilities for next summer's garden.

I wish I could take credit for this comparison, but I can't. It actually came from a grower in Oklahoma of all places, when she compared seed catalogs to pornography magazines. And, after thinking about it, she's right. We leave these things lying about the house for months at a time. You can even find last year's seed catalogs on the coffee table, right underneath the catalogs that arrived in the mail this year.

And, much like porn magazines, there is also the strong desire to read every catalog from cover to cover. The pictures excite you! What's new here? What about this? Oh my goodness, this would look nice in the garden, wouldn't it? And, don't overlook this or that or the other thing!

To put it short and sweet, like porn magazines, garden seed catalogs are terribly addictive. You are compelled to order this new bush bean, or perhaps the latest in cherry tomatoes, or even that funky looking all-blue potato that retains its color, even after cooking!

Unlike regular porn however, I think that garden magazine porn is a bit more healthy for the soul -- not to mention the stomach.