The Treasure of "Ima Wiener"

Saturday, February 14, 2015

X-Rated Radish
And now -- just in time for Valentine's Day -- a little pornographic love from the vegetable garden adventures springing from the Bird Back 40. Because nothing spells "love" quite like the "treasure" that the wife unveiled from the Bird Back 40 raised gardening beds some days back. There it is -- pictured to the right -- a schlong sized radish. It's the Treasure of Ima Wiener.

I can't even take credit for the title of this blog posting. Those readers who are fans of "The Simpsons" must now realize that I ripped it off from one of the funniest parts of The Simpson's Movie. The lines from that movie go a little like this -- when antagonist Russ Cargill confronts Homer Simpson holding a shotgun:

The Simpsons
Bart: Wait! If you kill my dad, we'll never know where the treasure is buried!
Cargill: What treasure?
Bart: The treasure of... Ima Wiener.
Cargill: "Ima Weiner"?
[Homer and Bart laugh]

Homer: Classic!

It would be Maggie who saved her father in that particular scene, by throwing a rather hefty sized stone that struck Cargill in the head. A development that left Homer to proclaim: "Maggie! What a great little accident you turned out to be."

It's bathroom humor at it's best -- which makes it a classic Simpsons moment in time.

To be brutally honest -- gardeners aren't supposed to let radishes get quite this big. If they reach a size like this they tend to taste a bit (I kid you not) "woody." However, for some strange reason this one tasted just fine. It tasted just like -- well -- a French Breakfast radish is supposed to taste like: a radish.

And what a radish it was!

Fortunately, for us, the night that the wife pulled this monster out of the ground we were making the perfect meal: chicken salad. This is one of those quick "work night" meals when you don't have a whole lot of time to throw everything together. It involved grilled chicken breasts, some bagged salad to mix with what's left of the fall salad greens, a spare green onion or two from the leftover summer garden and -- oh -- did I mention the x-rated sized radish?

Grilled Chicken
Cut up the chicken -- throw it all together -- add in some dressing quickly prepared by my most excellent wife and you have a dinner like no other. Oh -- and a conversation piece that I can bring to you, dear readers.

There's not much left of the fall garden these days. And with the sudden onset of warm, almost spring-like weather -- the mind turns to spring and summer gardening opportunities. Unfortunately, the one arctic blast of cold weather we received in December managed to kill off most of the pea plants we started in October. And although it doesn't seem like it could possibly happen, a freeze in February and March isn't out of the question.

The Radish Meets its End
It's happened before. It can happen again. But the one item that we can plant in abundance right about now? That's right -- the radish. Which might lead to another treasured discovery sometime soon.

Happy Valentine's Day! And remember -- it's not all about wieners. It's about radishes.

1 comment:

Court said...

This was very funny! I once kept a family of cacti I named after the Simpsons.