On the 26th Day...

That wonderful lady pictured to your immediate right said "I do."

Yes she did -- no matter how much she might try to deny it now.

You see -- I have it on tape.

A baseball fan -- check that -- a San Francisco GIANTS baseball fan knows the date of October 26, 2002 all too well. It's a day that will forever vex Giants fans. For -- on that day -- the Giants blew the 6th game of the World Series -- and would eventually lose to the Angels in seven.

It's also the day that Venus and Bill got married.

Ancient history you say? Perhaps. But I remember it like yesterday. I remember every moment. I even remember the steps leading up to said event.

I should remember them -- since I made plenty of mistakes. It's a wonder the lady didn't call the cops first.

I suppose an explanation is in order.

When I first placed my eyes upon this lady -- I was smitten forever. Never before -- and never again -- would my eyes be graced with such a lovely presence. My co-workers would later tell me that my jaw dropped to the floor -- but let's just call it what it is shall we?

Love at first sight.

However -- the first attempts to woo the lady that would become my wife were filled with one blunder after another. I didn't know her yet. I didn't know her likes. I didn't know her dislikes. I didn't know what pleased her. I didn't know what displeased her.

I only knew that I loved her.

Knowing her love for all things Spanish -- I thought a bit of poetry might be in order -- and immediately set out to find the most romantic poem -- written in Spanish -- that I could find.

Just one problem: I didn't know a lick of Spanish other than "Mas Cervasa por favor?" I still don't

Still -- I managed to run across something on the World Wide Web -- a long-dead Spanish poet described as the "Shakespeare of Spain."

"Aha," I thought. "Perfect!" And so I proceeded to copy this poem -- and send it to her with a vase full of flowers.

Her reaction was less than I desired.

The Spanish poet in question -- you see -- wrote about a Knight in Shining Armor that fell in love with a young lady and did his level best to woo her. The words of this 15th century poem -- roughly translated -- read "my love for you even pierces this suit of armor."

There's just one problem. What was written in the 15th century doesn't necessarily translate into the same thing in modern day times. Have you ever read Shakespeare? Better question: Have you ever understood what Shakespeare was writing about?

The Spanish word for a suit of armor is "Armas." It's also the same word used for "armed" or "gun."

So -- roughly translated in today's language -- what I sent to the woman I was so smitten with was: "I have a gun and I'm coming after you."

And you dare ask "how did you ever get married?"

Sometimes I wonder myself.

Love Grows Where My Ro -- err -- Venus Goes

It was on this date -- seven years ago -- that I made the best decision of my life.

Yes sir. That's right.

I've been in cold beer ever since that fateful decision to purchase ye olde kegerator...

Wait? Was that seven years ago or five? I can't remember. Must be the effects of ye olde kegerator and draft Pabst Blue Ribbon.

Who am I kidding?

Actually -- it was on this date that a wonderful life journey started. It was on this date in history, October 26th, 2002, when I finally brainwashed the woman pictured to your right to the point where she could say the words "I do."

For her? It was a struggle. For me? Are you kidding? That's like the California Lottery asking if I wanted my $10 million award in "tens or twenties." That answer was pretty easy. It was on this date that I struck GOLD. And, if you're a fan of the San Francisco Giants, this also happens to be the same date that the Giants blew Game 6 of the 2002 World Series against the hated Angels.

That's the reason why watching the Angels lose to the Yankees last night wasn't half bad.

I digress. Back to the subject of this posting. Today, it's all about Venus. Because -- without the lovely bride that is Venus -- there would be no blog titled "Sacramento Vegetable Gardening." Well -- I suppose there could be -- but I wouldn't be writing it. There would be no garden in the backyard. No heirloom tomatoes. No sunshine. No happiness.

Venus and I haven't changed much since we were married seven years ago. Well -- check that. She still looks as gorgeous as ever and I have the photo snapped over the weekend to prove it. As for me -- well -- those rugged Mel Gibsonesque looks are starting to fade a bit. What happened to all my hair? Did I lose it in my waistline?

Questions, questions!

I'd like to tell you that Venus and I spent a glorious weekend in the Back 40 -- tearing out what was left of the summer garden and planting the rest of our fall treats. But -- you see -- we did that last weekend. And since it was our "special weekend," and using the same brainwashing techniques I successfully employed seven years ago, we both decided to hop on the train out of Sacramento on Friday for the romantic destination of: Berkeley.

Say again? Bezerkley? Yes -- that place. The University of California AT Berkeley to be more exact. Venus and I took in the Cal football game against Washington State this past weekend. It wasn't going to be televised. I knew that the Bears were probably going to win this one. The Cougars are -- well -- slightly better than God awful this season. So -- why not take the wife back to her old stomping grounds where she earned her degree?

Fortunately, Mother Nature came through with gorgeous Saturday afternoon weather. I mean -- folks -- for us Sacramento Valley types? The weather was perfect! Shirt sleeves and shorts. For Berkeley regulars? A little too hot for them -- but just fine for us.

And the Bears put on a show. By that -- I mean the game was pretty much over by the first quarter. Three or four first quarter touchdowns will do that to a game. The Cougars did at least try to make it interesting -- but the game was snoozeville pretty much after halftime.

No matter. The wife was home. She was back in her element. No visit to the Cal campus is complete without a stop at Top Dog -- the home of the (SURPRISE) Top Dog. You can't forget to at least walk a section or two of Telegraph Avenue -- and a stop at the Bear's Lair Pub is also an absolute must.

After two or three or seven (I kind of lost count) at the Bear's Lair -- the wife and I found ourself stumbling back in the direction of Shadduck Avenue -- toward that lovely downtown Berkeley BART station -- and the train back to Richmond. From there -- we would catch the Cal Train -- and the all-important BAR CAR -- back to Sacramento.

As for the Back 40? The fall garden? The Birds? The Bees? They can wait. The perfect marriage to the perfect woman comes only once in a man's lifetime. Better enjoy that life while you can. Because time does indeed fly when you're having fun. Which is why my marriage to this lady seems like yesterday.