Fish + HH = AMF X Kitchen Sink = FAIL!

And they're Off!

Follow closely now children -- because the title of this article is the mathematical equation we followed earlier this spring when planting the heirloom tomato crop now growing, and growing quickly I might add, in the Bird Back 40. Fresh off last year's season where each tomato plant got a fish head, two aspirins plus bone meal in each planting hole, we redoubled our efforts in 2014.

My friends, I'm here today to tell you this. Despite those lovely looking plants pictured above right, you can "love" your tomato starter plants just a little bit too much. You can go overboard on even the most organic of treatment -- and I know this from experience. Because it's taken time, patience and a bit of replanting to get our starter plants to look THIS good at this point in May.

Adding Fish Parts to Holes for Tomato Plants

Plus -- several people who ignored frost concerns and warnings and planted in March are WAY ahead of us. In the words of the immortal Tom Petty, "you got lucky, babe." Because planting in March can sometimes result in misery in April, especially if the weather turns cold again. This year, it didn't. Oh sure, it cooled down a bit here and there and actually rained a bit. But it wasn't enough to knock off March planting efforts. And for those people who rolled the dice and planted in March, they'll be harvesting a bundle of fresh tomatoes in June and laughing at the rest of us who waited until the first weekend of May.

Edit: We normally plant on or around the birthday of Farmer Fred Hoffman of "Get Growing with Farmer Fred" fame. That's usually the last weekend of April. But it was raining that weekend so we pulled a bundle of weeds instead. Anyone who gardens will tell you there's always a weed or one thousand to pull. It just comes with the territory.

But -- I digress.

Let the Planting Commence!

Fresh off a fantastically productive and surprising tomato year in 2013, we once again called on the Goddess of Love Apple Farms fame to help us with our tomato planting efforts in 2014. This time Sara and the wife that is Venus armed themselves with two buckets of smelly fish parts instead of just one, aspirin for the planting holes, organic bone meal and a few other "additives."

Here is what this year's brew contained:

1 can of water soluble Mycorrhizae and Bacteria

1 bottle (300 count) aspirin

Two boxes of Granulated Humic Acids

Two 5-gallon buckets of fish heads, tails, guts, and various parts

4 bags of Bone Meal

A Garden Party?

Holes for 24 heirloom tomato plants were dug to a depth of two feet each. Into the hole went a big helping of "fish stuff," one-half cup of Humic Acids, one-half cup of bone meal and two aspirin. Tomato plants were removed from starter cups and soaked in a Mycorrhizae bath before planting. We then proceeded to fill the holes with composted soil. The official count that first weekend in May looked like this:

24 heirloom tomato plants

16 Pepper plants

4 eggplants

2 Blueberry plants LOADED with blueberries (Sharp Blue and Misty)

Notice the Dog...

Can you guess the first thing that happened after we went through all that work to plant everything into the raised beds? If you guess that the garden dog named "DIGGER" immediately tried to dig up 24 tomato plants in a quest to munch on some smelly fish parts, you wouldn't be half wrong. If you also guessed that many of the tomato plants suddenly seized up and died, you'd also be right on the money.

Both actually happened. What the dog didn't dig up and kill in the process, died on its own. Why? Because we gave our starter plants a bit too much love. There is such a thing such as too much love. And if you follow the witch's brew I've outlined above, you too can KILL your share of tomato plants.

Janet's Jacinthe Jewel

Thank goodness the wife that is Venus and I decided to plant two cups of each tomato variety. Those replacement plants came in handy. Instead of giving them away to family and friends as we've done in the past, we were doing quite a bit of "replacement planting," while muttering the words: "NEVER AGAIN!"

However, we seem to be past the worst of it. And, I'll be honest, not every plant seized up and died on us, nor did DIGGER dig it up. For those that survived the harrowing plant-out process, I'll be honest, they look GOOD. Not just good, good, mind you. But, REAL GOOD! This includes a number of varieties from Wild Boar Farms, including a new offering this year called Janet's Jacinthe Jewel.

Pepper and Basil Starter Plants

Described as a large bright orange (jacinthe) striped beefsteak, this is a potato-leafed variety that is off to an eye-popping start and seems destined to deliver a boatload of tomatoes, many in the one pound range. And this is a bad thing? I think not!

The onset of hot weather in May has also given our tomato plantings a boost. Our once "leggy" starters now feature thick stems and are flowering heavy. We also decided to devote more room to our tomato plantings, because there can never be a thing such as "too many tomatoes." If you've read this blog for any amount of time, you know this to be true.

Baby, I've Got a Headache...

Although I was not able to take part in the final plant out due to this bum wheel that keeps me confined to a walking boot (complete with a developing, continent-sized, blister), Venus sprinkled liberal amounts of leftover tomato plants to the in-ground test bed and other spots here and there in the Bird Back 40 that offered a bit of planting space. The final count is 39 plants -- about ten to 12 more than we normally plant during the summer season.

I'm pleased to report that everything the green-thumbed wife planted is now popping out of the ground at an accelerated rate -- this includes various garden seeds that she planted here and there. That list includes five varieties of carrots, six varieties of basil, four varieties of slicing cucumbers, three varieties of pickling cucumbers green onions, bush beans, squash, pumpkins and probably five to ten other things that I've forgotten.

There comes a point in the season that when it's time to pay a trip to the Farmer's Market? We head straight for the Bird Back 40...

Are They Tuff Enuff?

Vegetable Plant Starters-Bird Back 40

Texas-based Blues Rock and Rockabilly band The FabulousThunderbirds posed this question to the rest of America with their first and only Top 40 hit, and it's the same question the Birds are now posing to our 2014 summer vegetable crop. At this moment these tender, leggy veggie starters have been moved from the safety and warmth of their office-converted-greenhouse, to a shady spot in the Bird Back 40.

To throw these babies into full sunshine would be cruel and unusual punishment as well as foolhardy. Do that and the starters we've been nursing since mid-February would perish in a day. Nope -- wheeling our crop outside to a shady spot is just the first step in a gardening dance called "Hardening Off." It's a Texas-style two-step that we've come to learn quite well through the years (and a number of dead or shocked starter plants in the process).

Three rows of a Summer Garden

One wrong move in this process and we're heading off to a nursery later this month to purchase our summer starter plants.

So what are the Birds tending this summer? Just the most delectable of summer garden selections found in any Sacramento area backyard. There's a selection of new varieties -- a selection of old-time favorites -- big tomatoes -- small tomatoes -- hot peppers -- warm peppers -- sweet peppers -- you name it and we probably have it stuck in that rack somewhere.

By our count that's 34 varieties of tomato plant starters (two of each variety), 14 sweet, hot and warm peppers and six varieties of basil. Because what's a summer garden without at least six varieties of basil? That's right! BORING! Oh -- and did I mention the eggplants? Throw four or five varieties of eggplant starters into the mix as well.

Blue Beauty Starter Plant

This month represents one of the most crucial months in the "grow your own" summer vegetable garden movement. Should a sudden snowstorm or freeze strike the Bird Back 40 this month -- it means big trouble. Because, as of right now, these starter plants are not "Tuff Enuff." They will be by the end of the month, that much I can promise you. But as for right now? The first day and first week in Sacramento's natural elements? There's a whole HOST of things that can go wrong.

And they have before.

Starter plants grown sans a true greenhouse are leggy, weak and not ready for prime time. But the goal -- over the course of this next month -- is to toughen up those leggy stems. The goal is to prepare those leaves for the shock of true sunlight and the UV rays that come with it. The goal is to produce a starter plant that is tuff enuff to not only withstand everything that Mother Nature can throw at it -- but thrive in these conditions.

Pepper Plant Starters

The wife that is Venus and I will keep the plants in the safety of shade and away from the winds that can tear those tender stalks into so much kindling. At some point, the metal rack holding our starter plants will be covered with a a plastic sheeting that is used by painters and sold in any Big Box hardware store. After five or six days under the plastic cover in full sunshine? The once- weak and leggy starter plants are completely hardened off and feature thicker stems to boot.

The suggestion to use plastic sheeting -- I must admit -- was not a Bill Bird invention. Nope -- like most good ideas I STOLE IT from someone else. In this case? I stole it from a retired engineer turned gardener who lives in upstate New York. I love retired engineer-turned-gardener types. They have a solution for just about every problem -- and in this case? The advice was right on the money. After five or six days under the cover of 4 ml translucent sheeting purchased from my nearby Home Depot? The once-tender starters were indeed "tuff enough" for the 2013 summer gardening season.

Heirloom Tomato Starter Plant Forest

And 2013 was one of our best years ever, I might add.

And so my friends, while I could write more, I'm afraid that weed-pulling project in the vegetable garden deserves not only my time but attention as well. Because -- after a warm spring day like this one -- the weeds that await are certainly "tuff enuff."

Starring in the Bird Back 40 This Season:

Tomatoes:

1. Azoychka
2. Black and Brown Boar
3. Black Sea Man
4. Blue Beauty
5. Blueberries
6. Brad’s Black Heart
7. Brandywine OTV
8. Campbell’s 1327
9. Cascade Lava
10. Copia
11. Costaluto Fiorentino
12. Fireworks
13. German Johnson
14. German Queen
15. Giant Belgium
16. Green Zebra
17. Grushkova
18. Indian Stripe
19. Janet’s Jacinthe Jewel
20. Lemon Boy
21. Limmony
22. Lush Queen
23. Lynn’s Mahogany Garnet
24. Martha Washington
25. Paul Robeson
26. Pineapple
27. Pineapple Tomatillo
28. Pink Berkeley Tie Dye
29. Pork Chop
30. Porter’s Pride
31. Purple Bumble Bee
32. Royal Hillbilly
33. Sioux
34. Solar Flare

PEPPERS:

1. Alma Paprika
2. Anaheim Pepper
3. Bhut Jolokia (Ghost Pepper)
4. Big Bertha Bell Pepper
5. California Wonder Bell Pepper
6. Chinese Giant Bell Pepper
7. Early Jalapeno
8. Early Sunsation Bell Pepper
9. Merlot Bell Pepper
10. Mucho Nacho Jalapeno
11. Pasilla Bajo
12. Purple Jalapeno
13. Sunbrite Bell Pepper
14. Sweet Red Bell Pepper

BASIL:

1. Corsican
2. Dark Opalka
3. Genovese
4. Lemon
5. Lime
6. Siam Queen