The Most Interesting Tomato Plant of the Month!

Most Interesting Tomato Plant

It's got nothing on the Most Interesting Man in the World advertising campaign run by Dos Equis Beer. It's not smooth. It's anything but suave. However, it may leave you with the lasting image of "grow tomatoes, my friends."

The Most Interesting Tomato Plant of the Month is featured to your immediate right. What makes it the most Interesting Tomato Plant of the Month? Take a close look at that photo. Does that tomato plant look normal? If it looks like it needs a good drink of water, or it's about to up and DIE on me, congratulations! You too have noticed something odd. There's something not quite right here.

Believe it or not, this plant gets the same amount of water and care that other healthy looking plants in the 2022 garden get. So, you may be asking, why in HADES does it WILT like that? Tomato plants that show signs of severe wilt are not something a tomato grower wants to see. It means something isn't quite right in Dodge City, or "Houston, we have a problem."

Help Me! I'm Dying!

The Most Interesting Tomato Plant of the Month is a gift from my tomato growing friend, Nels Christensen. We have deduced that the name of this particular variety is called the Korean Long. Now, don't get me wrong, but I know what you're thinking. A name like that automatically induces the thought of "OH, THAT MUST BE A REALLY GOOD TOMATO!!!!" Not so fast, my friends.

As it turns out, the Korean Long plant in the Christensen garden is exhibiting the same characteristics. It's wilting. Badly wilting. Like my Korean Long plant, the Christensen plant looks like it could keel off and die at any moment. Which leads the both of us to believe that the plant is SUPPPOSED to look like this. The wilt is normal. Nothing to see here, folks.

That leads us back to the name: Korean Long. Does this, perchance, mean this variety hails from Korea? It might. Nobody really knows the history behind this plant. Plenty of growers are searching for it. Nobody has come up with anything yet, other than the conclusion that this variety must hail from somewhere in Korea. Which could be right. It could also be wrong. This could be a case of wonderful marketing.

Paste Tomato. Meh.

Short and sweet? The Korean Long is a PASTE TOMATO. Don't get me wrong here, but I normally do not swoon over paste tomatoes. It's the same thing that commercial farmers grow by the tens of thousands in the six-county, Sacramento region. All of these paste tomatoes have a date with cannery operations located north and south. They will eventually wind up in grocery stores across the nation as cans of tomato paste, tomato sauce or tomato chunks.

Call me a tomato snob, but paste varieties really don't excite me much as an heirloom tomato grower. Given a choice, I'd much rather have slices or chunks of vine-ripened Brandywine, Black Krim or Mariana's Peace tomatoes. I have a feeling that most tomato snobs (or snots, if you prefer), would make the exact same choice. It's not like paste tomatoes are the tomato of choice in your high end restaurants either. "Give me a salad featuring your finest paste tomatoes," said no tomato snob (snot), ever.

I do have a strong suspicion that the name of Korean Long may have resulted from a marketing brainstorm session at one of many seed suppliers in the good ol' USA. I've attended many meetings like this. It could have gone a little like this:

Marketing Guru #1: "Boss, we've got this new tomato seed that just came in from Korea!"

Sales Manager: "It's a paste tomato. We've got a million seeds in stock that are also paste tomatoes. Everyone grows paste tomatoes. What makes this one so special?"

Marketing Guru #2: "Well, it is from Korea. I think. Instead of calling it a common paste tomato, how about the name of Korean Long?"

Sales Manager: "Brilliant idea! You've earned a promotion! Stick it with the name of Korean Long and add another $1 surcharge to the seed price!"

The Korean Long

Before you dismiss this idea as far-fetched, be advised that it's the same brilliant kind of thinking that resulted in the marketing campaign of: Garden Plants That Deter Mosquitoes. If you forked over $5 for any plant that supposedly deters mosquitoes, you've been duped my friends. No plant deters mosquitoes. Plants attract mosquitoes, and other fine friends.

But this does give me a really good idea. How about a tomato plant that deters mosquitoes? Would you shell out a few extra $$ for that? Or, better yet, a tomato plant that deters midnight raids by rats and other garden pests?

I think I'm onto something here!

Soup's On!

Fresh Garden Veg-All!

As our summer days begin that ever so slow slide into that cooler interim we call "fall," it's time to take stock of what's left in the summer garden, and what's done. Although some heirloom tomato patches are still churning out fruit, our heirloom plantings pretty much petered out a solid month ago. While we still enjoy the occasional tomato or two, the bushel harvests are a distant memory.

I'm sad to see those days end. I'm never ready for the end of summer gardening season. Although there are things to plant in fall and spring, nothing offers the diversity of produce that springs from a summer garden. What is a gardener to do then, when the sudden urge for an ear of heirloom corn or a single pole bean comes on strong in the dead of winter.

Carrots from the Bird Back 40

My friends, we are prepared!

One of our favorite evening meals, especially during those weeknights after a long day at work, is a simple soup that contains ground turkey, a bit of broth, can of tomatoes and a can of Veg-All. The wife that is Venus stumbled upon this recipe some years ago, and it's been a staple in the Bird Houze ever since. Add in some freshly baked crescent rolls and you've got yourself one quick and easy supper.

This meal is that much better when you can add a can of tomatoes or tomato sauce that came straight from the Bird Back 40 the previous summer. As I took stock of what was left in the summer garden some weeks ago, it suddenly struck me, why purchase the canned vegetable stock known as "Veg-All?" Why not make your own Veg-All at home?

Leaning Towers of Pole Beans

We already know that anything fresh from the backyard is far superior than anything that can be purchased in the local supermarket. So why stop at canning projects that involve tomatoes and cucumbers? Why not put that overproductive carrot patch that would make Bugs Bunny jealous to good use? Our pole bean planting efforts now strongly resemble the Leaning Tower of Pisa. And although this year's corn crop was nothing to write home about, there was still enough there to add to the mix.

Three garden vegetables = Homemade Veg-All.

Fresh Heirloom Garden Corn

One important thing to consider before we move even further into this project is this: This project involves the use of pressure canning equipment. Water bath canners simply do not provide the pressure needed to safely can non-acidic vegetables like this, unless additional acid in the form of vinegar or lemon juice is added. At that point, you wind up with pickled vegetables rather than the canned variety. Even with our pressure canning equipment, Venus and I added a tablespoon of lemon juice to each pint jar before canning, just to play it safe.

Chopped and Ready for Processing

I must say, this has been an excellent year for carrots of all shapes and sizes in the Bird Back 40. The same holds true with the pole bean crop that we planted in July after removing a less than stellar garlic crop. The planter beds that dot the Bird Back 40 don't stay empty for very long. Once one crop is removed, the tired soil is amended and new seeds are added for the next crop.

But, I digress.

Parboil and Can

This is a much simpler project than canning tomato sauce, whole tomatoes and salsa. Those canning efforts involve a number of different steps before the actual product is added to jars and placed inside canning equipment for processing. For a simple vegetable mix like this? It's pick, clean, chop, mix together, parboil and can. The only difference is processing time -- about 45 minutes at 15 lbs. pressure. Just the simple act of processing can take several hours, especially if you have more jars of product than canning space in the pressure canning equipment.

But the payoff is a sweet treat during those cold winter months. If popping open a jar of home-canned tomatoes or tomato-sauce brings that sweet smell of summer into the kitchen, I can only begin to imagine the smells and taste that our vegetable canning efforts will bring.

SIMPLE WINTER SOUP

1 lb. ground turkey

1 tablespoon oil

1 onion

4-5 cloves peeled garlic

1 14.5 ounce can beef broth (water and beef bullion works just as well)

1 14 ounce can whole or chopped tomatoes

1 can Veg-All

Fresh or dry herbs

Fresh Garden Veg-All

Use food processor to ground garlic into bits and cut onion into appropriate bite-sized pieces. If you don't have a food processor, use a blender, or put a butcher knife to good use and start chopping. Add onion, garlic and ground turkey to soup pot containing oil, and proceed to cook on medium high heat until meat is cooked and no longer pink.

Add beef broth, tomatoes, Veg-All and herbs of your choice (Venus uses a mix of basil, oregano, cilantro, marjoram, whatever she has handy) and bring to a boil. Simmer for 20 minutes. Remove from heat, or just turn the stove off and allow soup to cool slightly before serving. Pop some crescent rolls or any other role into the oven for ten minutes and serve with soup.

Enjoy!

The Pain of Defeat

The day after a crushing loss at the polls -- a walk through the vegetable garden that you have planted and tended with the wife that you love -- is no tonic whatsoever to the pain and bitterness that ails you.

The flowers on the home-grown potatoes that seemed so bright and colorful the day you snapped this photo appear to be a dull gray. They have no answers for the feelings that are coursing through your mind and body the day after the candidate you worked so hard to elect -- lost.

But then again -- they're not supposed to have answers. They're just flowers on a potato plant. That's what they are. That's all they will ever be. The answers to the questions and pain that lingers after losing a statewide race remain unanswered.

The first feeling that comes to mind is depression. Then come the questions -- followed by feelings of self-doubt. What did I do wrong? Could I have done better? Finally -- comes the inevitable feelings of anger and bitterness. What happened to our base of support?

At some point you begin to realize that you're talking to a tomato plant. But the tomato plant has no answers. It is merely an heirloom tomato plant. Its job in life isn't to answer questions about elections. Its goal is to reproduce through the production of tomatoes and tomato seed.

It cannot tell you the all important answers of who, what, when, why and most importantly: how could this happen?

The depression that comes after losing a statewide -- or even a local race -- is a natural part of the electoral process. It's as natural as the potatoes that are hopefully growing into a large size beneath a canopy of green.

Running an election is much like tending a garden. Results don't happen overnight. Both activities start with the planting of seed. Both activities require care and almost constant attention. They're also similar in that the end of the process yields tangible results.

Sometimes those results are good. Sometimes they are bad. As much as you try to control the process -- the ultimate result is up to a higher power.

If those results are not what you had dreamed -- the inevitable questioning begins. What did I do wrong? What could I have done better? Was this the right move to make at the right time? Is this where I made the fatal mistake? Perhaps it was here?

The garden has no answers.

There are 17-million registered voters in California. Let me state that again: 17-MILLION REGISTERED VOTERS IN CALIFORNIA.

Less than 1.5 million of them chose to cast ballots in the statewide race that really had the most impact on this gardener. This is where the feelings of bitterness and anger begin to seep in -- despite your best attempts to hold them at bay. Where did everyone else go? Where was this "tide of conservatism" that was supposed to show up on election day? Why was it more like a trickle?

How dare they? I have taken their calls by the thousands over the course of the years. I have responded to their requests. I have managed to attend to most -- if not all of their needs. Why then -- when I needed them most -- did they stay home?

I can ask the same question of an heirloom tomato plant that Venus and I have lovingly nurtured through the growing season. We have responded to every request for every mineral fertilizer we know of. We have given it the best soil. It has received daily water -- love and care.

Yet  -- it did not produce. Why?

The garden has no answers. The garden has only flowers and a promise of things to come -- or things that may not come.

It is no tonic for the pain on this day.

The Garden Produces a Dinner

It's getting to be that time of year for many gardening addicts in Northern California. It's that time where you've tended the garden so much, that it now starts to tend to YOU.

Last night, our garden provided this dinner for us. It's the first full dinner of the summer season using summer produce, but obviously not the last.

Every item in this stir-fry dinner, with the exception of the chicken of course, came fresh-picked from the garden. What you see to your left is the result of hours of work, hours of planting, hours of tending and about ten minutes worth of harvesting.

Venus celebrated her birthday this past evening -- and rather than go out -- her birthday wish was for a green curry dish utilizing everything fresh from the backyard garden. We also could have used tomatoes, but green curry and tomatoes just don't mix.

Not many asian dishes use tomatoes as a featured item. I'm told, by one friend who grew up in Vietnam, that tomatoes do not grow well in southeast Asia, therefore they are not a staple of the local diet.

Cooking a green curry dish like this one is always an adventure. This one was no different. First off, Venus and I aren't quite good enough yet to make our own green curry mixture. So, we rely on the pre-mixed Mai Ploy brand (one of the best) and some coconut milk to get the job done.

Why is this such an adventure? Well -- one look at this VERY blurry photo to your right will tell half the story. And you run into this kind of roadblock quite often whenever you attempt to re-create a dish from your favorite Thai or Vietnamese restaurant.

I always want to know how much of a particular spice or mixed spices I should use in any creation, so I always rely on the "serving suggestion" advice that is posted on most jars. True enough, there are the words clearly printed in English: Serving Suggestion.

Unfortunately, the suggestions are all in Vietnamese.

I may be a good cook, but I haven't gotten around to learning Vietnamese quite yet. Sadly, the wife hasn't yet either. She does trump me on foriegn languages though, as she CAN read, write and speak Spanish.

But, even Spanish fluency doesn't mean you can translate instructions printed in Vietnamese. Sorry, but we were out luck.

No matter. This is what guessing is for. The dinner is all about the fresh ingredients, not the green curry.

The greens in this fabulous bowl include a couple of bell peppers chopped into bite sized chunks, some very large bush beans (including a variety that is quickly becoming one of my favorites: Dragon's Tongue), some Bok Choy, freshly harvested basil and a GINORMOUS Asian Eggplant.

I'm normally not a huge fan of eggplant. I can take it or leave it on the vegetable front. I'm just not wild about it. BUT -- put some eggplant in a Thai or Vietnamese dish? Suddenly, I can't get enough of the stuff. There's something about eggplant drowning in a dish of green or red curry that brings out a special kind of taste.

To put it short and sweet, everything in last night's dinner was a favorite from the garden. Although the peppers are still probably another month away from peak production, the same cannot be said about the bush beans. These things grow overnight.

This is our first year growing bush beans. I've been told that they are not as productive as pole beans. But, whomever told me that must be a liar, because we suddenly have far more bush beans than we know what to do with. I'm almost afraid to go home tonight, because I might be attacked by a bush bean.

These things are prolific.

Although Venus would have no problem with a meatless stir-fry -- I still haven't reached that stage of vegetarian nirvana. I may never get there. And before you criticize, remember this: My diet once consisted of Western Bacon Cheeseburgers, french fries and a large coke -- supersized at that. So, believe me, I'm doing a lot better in my mid 40's with boneless, skinless, chicken breasts.

Meal prep is the hardest part of this creation. Once everything is chopped up and mixed, you can cook everything up with a nice side of rice in 15 minutes or less. And, yes, because we experimented with the green curry, the meal did come out a TAD HOT.

Just a tad though. Do you know what the nice thing about eating hot meals is? It takes awhile to eat. And you get full -- which means you wind up eating a lot less.

Not to worry though. This fresh-from-the-garden creation made for a tasty lunch the very next day.

Why Kitty Hide?

It's a question that I cannot answer: "Why Kitty Hide?"

It's also a question, in restrospect, that I miss and could hear over and over again.

The wife that is Venus and I hosted our niece and nephew this weekend at our North Natomas home. The parents of the 2-year old girl (think TERRIBLE TWO'S) and 5-year old boy needed a bit of a break to be honest. We were more than happy to help them out.

Venus and I both know that the seeds that bring about a love for gardening must be nurtured at an early age. Our niece and nephew had never planted a garden before, until this weekend, and they seemed to enjoy it immensely.

I think they also loved running from "The Scarecrow" monster, a motion detection system that shoots a stream of water at whatever crosses its path. Still, they seemed to have a lot of fun planting the final crops of the 2009 garden -- a bed for our pickling cucumbers.

Our pickling efforts went fairly well last year, our first, but we learned that not all cucumbers make great pickles. That's why we ordered more than one variety of pickling cucumbers last winter, and had the kids plant our seed-starting efforts this weekend.

While little Celina loved running about the garden, she was most interested in the cats. And she simply could not understand why they would run in terror from this shrieking little girl. And so, throughout the weekend, this innocent little girl would look me straight in the eye and ask: "Why Kitty Hide?"

I learned that there was no good answer to this puzzling question. In fact, it didn't matter what answer I gave, as it usually prompted the response of: "Why Kitty Hide?"

And not just any kitty, but all four of them.

So, while we did our best to distract Celina with efforts such as planting pole beans, she still couldn't get over the fact that these flurry, fluffy creatures didn't want to come anywhere near her. That's why I hear the question over and over again today: "Why Kitty Hide?"

As it turns out -- both little Mark and little Celina do have a bit of that gardening gene in them. Celina, however, isn't quite ready to put anything harvested from the garden in her mouth at this point (not many 2-year olds are ready at age 2), but Marquitos was a different story. I was surprised.

It took a long time before Bill Bird would let a tomato come near him. I certainly wasn't eating garden produce at age 5. It would take several more years of cajoling and outright threats from my mother before I dared eat a slice of cucumber. But -- little Marky? He's different.

That little boy not only treasured the last cutting of broccoli from the garden, he proceeded to eat a great deal of it for dinner that night. Of course, it did help that his Aunt Venus prepared his most favorite meal of Mac N' Cheese, but it's rare to see a 5-year old boy not only consume garden produce, but actually like it.

But it didn't stop there. Not hardly. Mark was to discover the next day that he actually liked fresh peas from the garden. You could have knocked me over. I never would have believed it. A five year old boy picking pea pods, splitting them open, and devouring every pea inside? It took me years to get to that point.

Venus and I do not have children, yet. For most couples, acquiring children is akin to falling off a turnip truck. But for other couples, well, it can be a struggle. Put us in that "struggle" category. And, I think it's then that you come to realize that children are really God's greatest gift.

There is really nothing like teaching a child to dig a small hole for a starter plant or seed. The joy of watching a young child tear into a pea pod, or hunger for something else you have just harvested from the backyard is hard to describe. But there is a sense of satisfaction. The hard work of previous weekends is paying off. It's paying off in ways you never imagined.

I know that the weekend we spent with our niece and nephew helped plant the seeds for future gardens in future years. I know that they look forward to coming back later this summer, when they will see the seeds that they planted this spring flower and produce. Hopefully, they'll get to sample their work, and begin to understand the answers to some of the gardening questions they have.

But -- there is one question that can probably never be answered.

Why Kitty Hide?