A "Phenomenal" Pumpkin Year...

Ultimate Digging Machine Shows Off Pumpkin Haul

That's the lesson that you'll learn if you read today's posting from Debbie Arrington in the Local News Section of the Sacramento Bee. It's been a rather special year for pumpkin growers -- or so says a couple of local growers who specialize in growing out thousands of Jack O' Lanterns that will be glowing from near and far tonight.

And -- after getting to the last of the Bird 2011 harvest just yesterday -- who am I to disagree? The wife that is Venus and I have grown pumpkins before. But we've never grown them in quite this amount. I have pumpkin vines that cover a quarter of the Bird Back 40 and seem intent upon growing over the fence and into the neighbor's yard.

Lame Attempt at Pumpkin Carving

That's gardening! Some years are better than others. In some years -- some crops do extraordinarily well. And -- some don't. Call 2011 the "Year of the Jack O' Lantern." There are more than enough to go around.

What are Bill & Venus Bird doing with their cash crop of pumpkins this year? I thought strongly about a pumpkin toss or pumpkin catapult -- but both ideas were nixed by the wife. She just can't understand why grown men would want to see a perfectly round pumpkin get tossed into the air -- only to splatter into a zillion pieces and streams when they hit the ground.

Bill Bird says, "cool!"

Pumpkin Pie Anyone?

We are finding some traditional uses -- however -- for the 2011 crop. Venus and I grew three different varieties of pumpkins this year -- including the smaller and sweeter variety that will be used for all things pumpkin pie, pumpkin bread, pumpkin barley soup and, of course, who can possibly forget the pumpkin martini. I've found -- from experience -- that you can make martinis out of just about anything from the garden.

This is -- provided you have the all important added ingredient of fermented juniper berries -- of course.

The seeds from our carved pumpkins also went to good use I might add. There's nothing quite like roasted pumpkin seeds using a mixture of a little bit of butter (OK, a lotta bit of butter), worscetershire sauce, honey (from the Hello Kitty Hive) and seasoned salt. Mix it all up -- throw it in the oven -- and Voilà! Burned pumpkin seeds! Tasty too!

Some Gourds Not Quite Ready for Show

As for the pumpkin vines that I've nurtured through the summer -- they are starting to show some signs of wear and tear. The constant hum and din of honeybees that I noticed earlier in the summer has subsided quite a bit recently. That may be due to cold nights and cold mornings in the Sacramento riverbottom, and it can also be the fact that our colony has found a new source of pollen somewhere. Once the weather warms, it's not all that unusual to see them flying off over the fence in search of...something.

Perhaps they found some Juniper berries to pollinate? A man can dream, right?

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

Bill Bird's Burned Pumpkin Seeds (A recipe)

This works well with seeds from just one pumpkin, or five. You may want to increase or decrease the amount of butter used, depending on the amount of seeds. The amounts listed below were used for seeds that had been collected from four different pumpkins

Seeded Pumpkins

1/2 stick of butter

2 tablespoons worcestershire sauce

2 tablespoons honey

1 tablespoon seasoned salt

Directions:

Clean seeds, removing as much pumpkin residue as possible. Soak seeds in water for at least 30-45 minutes. Drain, and pat dry with paper towels.

Melt butter in saucepan or microwave, add worcestershire sauce, honey and salt and heat slightly again if using a microwave. Mix well.

Add seeds and butter mixture to bowl and stir to coat well. Spread evenly on baking pan with raised edges and roast at 250-300 degrees for one hour (it may need more time if you have a lot of seeds). Stir every 15 minutes.

The end result will be sticky to the touch, until they are allowed to cool and dry.

Sacramento's Most Eligible Bachelor is a Real PEACH!!!

Loaded Elberta Peach Tree

Somewhere -- a peach tree lives. An Elberta Peach tree at that. Smack, smack, that's good eating folks. If all goes to plan, this Elberta tree will produce its first crop of peaches next year. There's nothing like a tree-ripened Elberta peach in mid-August. I didn't get nearly enough of them this year.

Take notes children. Because this just might be a question in Trivial Pursuit someday. Do people even play Trivial Pursuit anymore? Or is Bill Bird just showing his rather ancient age?

This is a nice story.

Sacramento's Most Eligible Bachelor Likes Babies (and peaches)

Sacramento's most eligible bachelor is this man to your left, ladies. His name is name is Eric Dietz, and he is, indeed, Sacramento's Most Eligible Bachelor, as proclaimed by "Girls on the Grid." Eric, who serves as Legislative Director for Assemblymember Allan Mansoor (R-Costa Mesa) grabbed the lofty title last February, beating out ten other deserving (or so I'm told) contestants.

This story stretches back to the month of March, so please bear with me. Some explanation is in order.

We do a lot of reading here at the State Capitol. The amount of written material astounded me a bit when I first arrived here and was given instructions to "read this." My first thought was, "will there be a test?" That answer would be a gigantic yes, but I really would learn the reason for the accelerated reading curve until much later.

It's not the kind of test that this former television and broadcast reporter turned public relations pro was expecting.

California State Capitol

If you're going to work in the halls of the State Legislature... No -- let me rephrase that: If you find yourself lucky enough to be afforded the wonderful opportunity to work inside one of the most historic buildings in all of California -- you had better be "informed." That is -- you need to know about a lot of different things. You don't need to be an expert on everything mind you -- but the worst crime that you can commit as a State Capitol staffer is to be caught "uninformed."

The State Legislature deals with every topic under the sun -- and 100 times more than that. Subjects range from Apples to Zebras (A-Z) and everything else in between. Not only are you REQUIRED to know about these subjects, it's also a good idea to understand the competing views that each subject offers. Not everything is "black and white" here under the dome. Some issues are several different shades of gray. And, as a State Capitol staffer, it's in your best interest to not only know about each and every issue -- but also know about and understand the competing views that each issue offers.

The worst, most possible, crime that a legislative staffer can commit is to answer a phone call from a constituent and utter the words: "I'm not aware of this." Why is this so bad? It sends a terrible message to a voter that a legislator THEY voted for has hired someone who is rather clueless about an issue that the voter is VERY concerned about. And, the thinking goes, if the staffer is uniformed, what about the legislator? That's not good people.

Read these-Test Later!

Committing a crime like this leads to a very bad day or week at work. Bill Bird knows this all too well from experience. Don't ever be caught off guard. The only way to stay on your toes is to read, read, read and then read just a little bit more. Read until your eyeballs literally turn red (and then read a little bit more). Read -- because you will be tested. You never know when the surprise "pop quiz hotshot" is coming -- but it will come. That much, you can depend upon.

In some cases -- the people who represent these different issues will bring them right to your front door in the form of visits to the State Capitol Office. Staffers in a State Capitol office will meet with a lot of different people. Sometimes? The issue can be a simple one. Group A visits in the morning to urge the legislator to consider a hike in taxes. Group B visits in the afternoon to urge the legislator to avoid a hike in taxes.

But it's not always that simple or cut and dried.

One group that will bring its issues to the front door is the California agriculture industry. This is a rather important industry as one might expect, and it covers ALL issues of agriculture, not just one. The industry will often hold what is billed as "Agriculture Week" (or Ag Day), where staffers are encouraged to visit ag related fairs and booths that have been erected on the grounds of the State Capitol.

It's not unusual then, for the fresh flower industry, to drop off a vase of flowers at every State Capitol office. One year I actually picked up an entire year's supply of radish and carrot seed packets that were offered by the thousands. California beekeepers also show off their wares, usually in the form of a demonstration hive. It's also a good place to pick up pens or pencils that are used on the job (I have a particular attachment to my VIAGRA pen -- but that's a different industry).

But this past year, the nursery outlet known as Green Acres took Ag Day one step further. In an effort to promote fresh fruit season -- and the end of bare root planting season -- Green Acres presented each legislative office with a bare root fruit tree (grown by Dave Wilson Nursery, of course). Not every office received the same variety of tree either. Some received apples, others got nectarines while still others received peaches.

Now, while I thought this to be a rather dandy and inventive idea, it also troubled me. Although the office that I work in received an O'Henry Peach tree -- I needed another peach tree like I needed another hole in my head. I have enough of them, thank you. Fortunately -- the tree did find a good home.

Bare Root Fruit Trees-Capital Nursery

But -- there are 120 legislative offices in the State Capitol. That's 40 offices in the State Senate, plus another 80 offices in the State Assembly. That makes for 120 bare root fruit trees. Although our tree found a good home -- I wasn't as positive about the others.

The State Legislature has changed somewhat from the day I first stepped through the front doors in 1999 as a wide-eyed, 36-year old, rookie. Before the era of term limits took over -- staffs and staffing levels didn't turn over that much. It wasn't unusual for a person to work 25-or-30 years for just one or two different legislative offices. There wasn't much turnover.

That abruptly changed when term limits took effect in 1990. By the time I arrived in 1999? Many established legislators had already departed. Some were still around, but not for long. The same rule of thumb also applied to legislative staff. People who had been working in the State Legislature for a very long time were moving on as well. The culture of change had taken hold.

The point I'm trying to make here is this: Many legislative offices are staffed with very young and very bright and talented people who haven't reached the age where they are thinking about home ownership just yet. Many legislators who serve here don't own homes in the Sacramento area, they choose to rent an apartment close by the State Capitol instead.

My fears -- which proved to be well-founded -- was that a lot of these bare root fruit trees would be abandoned and left to die somewhere in an office corner. That's an orchard worth of fruit trees gone to waste -- and as much as I love fresh fruit -- that bugged me a bit. So -- I decided to play the role of "adoption agency."

I crafted an advertisement for a publication called the Senate Daybook, and after borrowing a few choice lines from a famous statue located on Liberty Island in New York Harbor, the ad I placed looked a little like this:

"Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled FRUIT TREES yearning to breathe free. If your office received a fruit tree delivery that hasn't found a good home, give it to me! I will make sure it finds the safety of a fruit orchard or backyard where it can live free."

Or something to that extent.

I was besieged, almost immediately, with a great many offers the moment this ad hit email inboxes. But they weren't quite the offers I was expecting. As it turns out? More people WANTED these trees than those who actually had them. One legislative staffer "gladly" offered to take fifty or sixty trees off my hand for an orchard she was planning.

Black Tartarian Bare Root Cherry Tree

There was just one eensy, teensy problem. I didn't have 50 or 60 trees. I didn't even have five. Getting just one of them was proving to be difficult. Perhaps my fears of trees left in an office to whither and die were misplaced?

As it turns out, not entirely. Slowly, one by one, the fruit trees rolled in. An unwanted Fuji apple here. A Black Tartarian cherry tree there. And I made sure -- as each one came in -- it went straight out to someone who promised to give it a good and proper home.

It was on one such hunt for forgotten trees that I entered the office of Assemblymember Allan Mansoor, where a young man handed me the gift of an Elberta Peach tree. As he smiled and turned away, his co-worker (a Sacramento Vegetable Gardening blog reader) pointed out: "That's Eric Dietz, Sacramento's most eligible bachelor."

And now you know why Sacramento's Most Eligible man is a real peach.

Sumthin Scary in the Bird Back 40...

Bird Back 40-Side Yard Test Bed

The photo to your immediate right is the state of just one part of the Bird Back 40. Scary, isn't it? When you see weeds THAT big? How did that little tiny weed reach a height of six feet? Why can't I see the back fence anymore? What is that traversing around and through the citrus trees?

That -- my good friends -- is a series of pumpkin vines that the Wife That Is Venus and I planted earlier this spring in the Back 40 "Test Bed." Keep in mind -- I've grown pumpkins before. But I've never experienced vines like this. They have extended 40-to-50 feet beyond where the seeds were originally planted and are intent upon growing right over the fence and into the neighbor's yard.

I hope the neighbor likes pumpkins.

Pumpkins here-Pumpkins There!

I know what you're thinking. What good are pumpkin vines if you don't have any pumpkins on them? That's a good question. Don't worry. Pumpkins I got. Way, way, way too many pumpkins. In fact, I'm not really sure how many I actually have. When the vines started to take off and grow Every Which Way but Loose during the summer, I sorta lost count.

At first? I thought it was kind of cute to have a pumpkin growing off a stalk of corn. What's that growing on the Caspian Pink Heirloom Tomato bush? A pumpkin! Pumpkins hanging from the Meyer Lemon tree? Grapes the size of pumpkins? Or just pumpkins? Short and sweet: The pumpkins are everywhere.

Note: This is what happens when you plant three different varieties of pumpkin seeds. You tend to get a LOT OF PUMPKINS.

Mass of Pumpkin Vines and PUMPKINS!

Mental note: Do not make the mistake of planting watermelon and cantaloupe seeds in the general vicinity of pumpkin seeds. Pumpkins will overtake them -- cover them  -- and essentially starve them of sunshine and nutrients. If you make the same mistake as I did -- and plant pumpkin seeds near melon seeds -- you will get lots of pumpkins.

And not much else.

Although it's probably now safe to tear out the vines and place the pumpkins in a pile in the Bird Back 40 -- I'm going to leave them in for as long as I can. We will get around to harvesting pumpkins for the all important holiday of Halloween -- and of course of pie and bread purposes (one of the varieties is a sugar-sweet pumpkin that is perfect for these types of creations). But I'm going to keep the vines going for as long as I can.

If this means I'm still growing pumpkins in December -- so be it.

Pumpkin Vines & Pumpkin Flowers

There is a method to my madness. The summer growing season is now coming to a close. All important sources of pollen that honeybees need to survive and thrive are starting to dry up. In response? Colonies are preparing for winter.

But if there's one thing I've learned? Flowers produced by pumpkin vines are like CRACK for worker bees. They are large producers of the pollen that bees need to survive and thrive. The pumpkin patch literally hums and buzzes with bee activity in the early morning and afternoons. There's not much left in terms of pollen producing plants, shrubs and trees. And I have pumpkin flowers coming out of my ears.

It would be shame to tear them out while they are still producing. So -- for now? The vines stay. This means the Hello Kitty Colony of bees will have a continuing source of pollen -- and won't suddenly turn defensive when the last pollen source vanishes. Defensive colonies are difficult to deal with. One wrong step invites a "kiss" (sting) from the hive.

Sugar Sweet Pumpkin

I'd rather avoid that if at all possible.

And so -- this is my very scary tale. Halloween is fast approaching. That means little ghosts, goblins and ghouls in the neighborhood and perhaps a Spiderman or two. If you happen to run across a home that is ablaze with lighted pumpkins, come on in and make yourself at home.

You've arrived at the Bird Back 40. The kegerator is located just inside the garage and to your right.

Picking a Peck of Peppers!

Bird Pepper Crop: Bird Back 40

Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.

Did Peter Piper pick a peck of pickled peppers?

If Peter Piper Picked a peck of pickled peppers,

Where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?

Go ahead and say that five times fast! C'mon now! I "double-dog-dare" you to do it!

WARNING! Mouthwatering recipes ahead. Better bring a BIB to this blog posting -- because it's literally bursting with late summer goodness.

Yeah, yeah I know. The calendar on the wall reads "summer fun ends at Labor Day, son." But -- technically? We've got another ten days or so before Autumn, 2011 officially kicks in (September 23rd to be exact). Until then? I'm enjoying my summertime bounty!

California Wonder: Yellow Bell Pepper

Besides -- the weather hasn't exactly slacked off in terms of heat now has it? The heirloom tomato crops have mostly delivered a large summer crop and new fruit is already forming at the top for a much-hoped-for fall delivery. The wife that is Venus and I will enjoy fresh garden tomatoes until November if Mother Nature is in that giving sort of mood.

One crop that is indeed late this year -- but welcome just the same -- is all things PEPPERS! From Bell Peppers to Jalapeno Hot Mamas -- the Bird pepper crop is indeed "busting out" this September. It's been a long time coming -- but welcome just the same.

Like most backyard crops? Nothing really compares to a pepper harvested straight from the backyard garden. It is literally bursting with a sweet and tender juice -- and the Jalapeno peppers are at the point where they will burn the skin off your lips if you're not careful.

Mucho Nacho Jalapeno Pepper

At least -- it does seem that way.

Venus and I are somewhat partial to the Jalapeno peppers because they have a wide variety of uses in so many different summertime dishes. Fajitas aren't fajitas -- unless you got a finely sliced n' diced jalapeno pepper in the mix. Salsa isn't salsa without the bite of a Mucho Nacho Jalapeno. And nothing goes better with a big bowl of Chicken Pho (pronounced "fu" as in "fun") than a carefully sliced Purple Jalapeno.

Plus -- as noted in this blog before -- it is the only hot pepper that I know of that retains that famous heat after boiling on a stove with other ingredients for a good 30-minutes to one hour. The mighty orange Habanero turns into pipsqueak status after cooking, as do a number of other "hot" peppers that are somewhat hotter than the Jalapeno on the "burn your lips off" scientific scale.

Purple Jalapeno Pepper

So, we be partial to Jalapeno peppers. Not just one bush of them either -- but three. What we don't use in fresh cooking this year can be canned for later use. Yes, even the Jalapeno retains some heat after canning. It's not quite as strong, but it does deliver a welcome jolt in the dead of winter.

Safe to say that Venus are using peppers in just about every dish we cook this month. Besides the already mentioned Fajitas, there's the asian-inspired Green Pepper Beef. The Betty Crocker Cookbook offering of Southwest Chicken Soup is one of the best in the land IF you're using fresh red bell peppers, and plain old scrambled eggs are just boring unless it's scrambled with some sliced and diced Ancho (aka Poblano) peppers.

Peppers are make quite the meal offered raw. There's nothing quite like a summer plate of fresh tomatoes, cucumbers and peppers tossed with a little red wine vinegar, salt and pepper to taste and a dusting of fresh or dried oregano.

Ancho or Poblano Peppers

I'm hungry already!

Venus and usually go a little overboard with our pepper plantings -- and this year is no different. We do depend on them a lot for canning efforts. Our Roasted Garlic, Pepper and Heirloom Tomato Salsa, for example, relies upon anywhere from four to six cups of roasted and fresh peppers. Canned tomato sauce is kinda boring unless you zip it up a bit with a Jalapeno or two. Get the idea?

Therefore -- it isn't all that uncommon to find anywhere from 10-15 odd and assorted pepper plants growing in the Bird Back 40. That includes the aforementioned Jalapeno peppers (three different varieties), the California Wonders (Red, Yellow, Green), Big Bertha (Purple) and usually one or two unique offerings. This year? It's the Paprika pepper -- which Venus and I will dry in some safe spot in the garage and grind into fresh paprika pepper.

Big Bertha Bell Pepper (Purple)

Who needs to blow $4 or $5 at the store for a small jar of overprocessed paprika when you can get something better at home for FREE? The numbers add up for me.

And now -- as I promised -- some pepper recipes that WILL make you drool. Remember, I warned you. Don't blame me if your computer keyboard suddenly shorts out!

SOUTHWEST CHICKEN SOUP (Betty Crocker Cookbook offering)

2 large red bell peppers

1 whole chicken breast (about 3/4 pound), skinned and boned

1 medium onion, chopped

2 cups chicken broth

2 tablespoons lime juice

1 tablespoon chopped fresh cilantro (we use a tad more)

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon pepper

2 cloves garlic, crushed

1 cup cubed jicama

Bill's Note: Like most Betty Crocker recipes, the seasonings are catered to blander tastes. We usually double up on spices.

Red California Wonder Bell Pepper

Set your oven control to broil. Place bell peppers on rack of broiler pan with tops about 5 inches from heat. Broil peppers, turning occasionally, until skin is blistered and evenly browned (do not burn!). Remove peppers to a brown paper bag, seal tightly. Let peppers stand 20-30 minutes.

Place chicken on rack in broiler pan. Place broiler pan so top of chicken is 5 to 7 inches from heat. Broil chicken 15 minutes, turning once, until juices run clear. Cut into quarter inch strips.

Pare peppers (remove skin and seeds, but do NOT run under water). Discard skin and seeds. Place peppers and onion in blender or food processor and blend and process until smooth.

Heat pepper mixture, chicken broth, lime juice, cilantro, salt, pepper and garlic to boiling in two quart saucepan. Reduce heat and simmer for 15 minutes. Stir in reserved chicken and jicama. Heat until hot.

GREEN PEPPER BEEF

1/3 cup soy sauce

¼ cup beef broth

2 tbsp dark brown sugar

¾ pound top round steak, thinly sliced (I use ground turkey)

1tsp light Sesame Oil

2 garlic cloves, minced

1 tsp Ginger

2 tsp Curry Powder

2-3 green or red bell peppers, seeded and cut into strips

Green or Red Pepper Beef Anyone?

Mix soy sauce, beef broth, brown sugar, minced garlic, ginger and curry powder together and set aside.

Stir fry beef strips or ground turkey with sesame oil until cooked. Add peppers and stir fry until crisp tender. Add reserved sauce and top to coat. Serve over hot rice.

NOTE: At one time this recipe also called for cornstarch to thicken the sauce. I HATE cornstarch, so I left it out. But you're free to add it right back in again (blech!).

Where Have I BEEN???

Whole Heirloom Tomatoes & Garlic Dill Pickles

That is one good question. Cause when three solid weeks pass without Bill Bird so much as touching the blog that is Sacramento Vegetable Gardening -- one goes through a withdrawl of sorts. Not that I haven't thought about it -- boy have I! But -- you see -- time is the problem.

As you can tell from the photo to the immediate right -- we've certainly found our time to put the summer backyard produce to good use. There are quarts and quarts of whole heirloom tomatoes for winter time use. Venus and I just finished up on our latest project this past weekend -- 19 pints of lip-smacking tomato sauce infused with fresh herbs like sage, thyme, basil, oregano, basil -- plus a Jalapeno pepper or two.

Heirloom Tomato Sauce Infused with Fresh Herbs

Oh -- and that doesn't include the 20-odd pints of fresh Roasted Garlic, Pepper and Heirloom Tomato Salsa. That's a Bird Family tradition!

But with two demanding jobs to hold down, five of the brattiest cats known to mankind -- plus a spoiled rotten dog (Ultimate Digging Machine) -- and four different homes to care for -- well -- that thing called "free time" is at a premium.

Speaking of which -- anyone interested in renting a fine home? Gardening boxes and not one -- but TWO loaded orange trees to boot -- included? Leave a note for me at the bottom of the blog. The fresh citrus comes with the house. Think of it as a "bonus."

Despite the demands upon our free time -- it hasn't stopped us from enjoying all of the Bird Back 40 bounty that summer has to offer. It hasn't stopped a couple of marauding mockingbirds either -- and now I fully understand why they call them "mockingbirds." The name is well deserved.

Fresh Fruit Harvest!

Let's be honest here, shall we? This has been one fine summer. I wish I'd been able to write it about it more often. From heirloom tomatoes on the vine, bell peppers by the boatload, two different types of eggplant, three varieties of squash, a nice selection of corn-on-the-cob and some surprising fresh fruit deliveries -- life has been good indeed.

One of the best harvests came just a few weeks ago -- and based upon what came ripe from our young fruit trees this year -- we'll be expecting a lot more of this in years to come. We've been building up the fruit tree and bush offerings in the Bird Back 40 in the hopes that it would produce a real backyard "fruit salad." And as you can tell -- we came close.

Table Grape Vines: Bird Back 40

This is the second year of production for the eight table grape vines that frame in the six main 4X8 foot raised beds in the backyard garden. Those aren't the only beds we have in the Bird Back 40 -- but it's clearly the main growing area. It's where you will find a multitude of heirloom tomato offerings -- Asian Baby Corn -- four or five different varieties of basil and we usually devote at least one bed to all things Bush Beans.

I knew from the outset that I was going to get some production off the eight table grape vines that the wife that is Venus and I planted during the 2010 bare root season. Little did I know -- however -- that the mockingbirds would savor the vast majority of the crop. Despite the addition of Scare Tape, a Scare Crow and netting -- nothing would stop two very determined birds from stealing the vast majority of the Bird table grape crop.

Mental note: I need to spend this winter building a better mousetrap!

Arctic Jay White Nectarines & O'Henry Peaches!

But I'll tell you something about mockingbirds. They are not the most perfect of thieves. In other words, they left a smattering of Fiesta, Muscat and Diamond grapes behind. Add a smattering of table grapes to the last of the white nectarines, some tree-ripened O'Henry Peaches and a selection of strawberries and you've got yourself something special.

It's a fruit salad from your own backyard!

And there's nothing quite like the zest and zing from tree or vine-ripened fruit that some straight from your own backyard. Sure -- you can purchase the same thing in your local supermarket or perhaps a Sacramento Certified Farmer's Market. But it's just not going to compare from the selection of truly ripe, sweet, soft and fruit selections from the backyard.

Fresh Fruit Salad Anyone?

About the only thing missing this year from the Bird Back 40? A fresh selection of watermelon and cantaloupe. It's the one crop -- the one and only crop I might add -- that failed to produce this year. Make a mental note of this children: Do not plant watermelon and cantaloupe seeds in the same area as pumpkin seeds. The end result is -- you get lots of pumpkins and little else.

But we'll write about pumpkins next month. Lord knows -- we have enough to supply the general neighborhood this year. I see a slice or two of pumpkin pie, pumpkin bread and all things pumpkin in my nearby and immediate future. Give the wife that is Venus a pumpkin and she'll turn it into something that will make your taste buds quiver with excitement.

Home-Grown Table Grapes

But for now? The grapes are still producing. The mockingbirds are long gone (thank goodness) and a nice crop of Red Flame grapes are just about ready. Like just about every fruit offering in the Bird Back 40 -- the harvest is a tad late this year.

But there is a nice harvest to come just the same.

Welcome to the Land of Corn and ... CORN!

Golden Bantam Corn

There goes my attempt at a snappy title. Sigh

As the photo to your immediate right clearly shows -- it is "corn season" in the Backyard of Bird." The harvest is back -- and back in a big way this summer after an absolutely horrible showing last year -- a fact that I blamed on 49ers Quarterback Alex Smith.

Don't get me wrong here. Alex Smith is still an unbelievable FLOP in the NFL -- and for some strange reason he's back for yet another MISERABLE season in the City by the Bay. As KFI Radio -- and former NewsTalk 1530 KFBK personality extraordinaire -- Shannon Farren correctly posted on Facebook recently: "7 years of Alex Smith. Who broke that damn mirror?"

Shannon was never one to hide her feelings -- nor the occasional F-Bomb dropped in a newsroom setting.

OK -- so it wasn't occasional. Shannon's language in a radio newsroom could and did make more than one sailor blush. But that's another story for another day.

Test Bed: Bird Back 40

Point is -- Alex Smith is still stinking it up in the City by the Bay -- but fortunately that bad voodoo hasn't affected the Bird corn offerings this year. The test bed is churning out record amounts of beautiful corn on the cob in 2011 -- and we're just getting started. The production has been limited to the first two rows that the wife that is Venus and I planted earlier this spring.

Still to come? About five more rows. Provided the weather holds -- we'll be harvesting giant ears of corn through September.

Final Golden Bantam Harvest: 13 ears

My friends, there is nothing quite like hoofing it out to the corn patch on a weekend evening and pulling a fat fresh ear of corn or four off the backyard stalks. Venus and I started harvesting shortly after returning from Santa Cruz two weeks ago -- and fresh corn on the cob has been a staple on the evening menu ever since. Tonight's final harvest resulted in a Baker's Dozen -- 13 ears -- which is now sitting in a freezer.

Thanks to a couple of recipe suggestions and canning recipes delivered by Farmer Fred Hoffman -- we will be enjoying fresh-from-the-backyard corn all winter long.

Emerging Ears of Lip-Smacking Golden Bantam Corn

The variety in question is an heirloom variety. First offered through Burpee gardening catalogs in 1902, the variety called Golden Bantam is still going strong. It's not hard to figure out why gardeners are somewhat partial to this variety. Stalks of Golden Bantam corn deliver ears that are more than a foot long. It's not the sweetest corn you'll taste in your lifetime -- but it is special nonetheless.

I was somewhat shocked to discover that this yellow corn variety also resulted in kernels that were colored a bright orange. At first? I thought this might have been the result of leaving the corn on the stalk for a might too long. But those fears were unfounded. Venus and I were happy to discover that each orange-colored kernel was packed with a jolt of natural sugar.

Bright Yellow and Orange Kernels on Golden Bantam

Unfortunately -- the Golden Bantam seed that I ordered three years ago from Pinetree Garden Seeds didn't last beyond the first two rows. That forced us to turn to another variety of yellow corn seed that we purchased last year from Lockhart Seed Company in Stockton.

The Lockhart Seed wasn't an heirloom variety. Lockhart Seed doesn't necessarily specialize in heirloom varieties, which isn't bad. What Lockhart Seed does specialize in is varieties that are specifically adapted to our San Joaquin and Sacramento Valley climates. Although it's entirely probably that some cross-pollination has taken place with the later varieties -- my hope (prayer would probably be a better word) is that since both are yellow varieties, we should be OK.

That's my hope anyway. I've seen cross-pollination before between yellow, white and baby corn varieties that have been planted far to close together. The results are indeed Frankensteinish. And the taste wasn't all that good either.

The variety in question -- Bodacious -- was planted about a month after the Golden Bantam -- and the stalks are now about four feet in height. The first green tassels from the developing ears have already emerged and my best guess is that we're still another three weeks away from a first harvest -- provided the weather holds. We have been lucky in that respect. After a colder than normal spring, the last two months have been outstanding.

And so my friends -- I come to you with this advice. If you live in the Sacramento Valley and have a small plot of room -- you can plant corn and you can harvest delicious ears later in the summer.

This is despite the presence of a quarterback named Alex Smith who appears have locked up yet another year of starting play for your San Francisco 49ers.

Keep the bar well stocked. It's going to be yet another long winter.