Have Another Cold One!

Grapevines in Winter

It's about this time of year when Mother Nature begins to act like our favorite bartender. "Have Another Cold One," she screams as she delivers one whopper cold morning after another. It doesn't matter if you've already had enough of the frosty conditions that have blanketed the Sacramento area during the past weeks. Because Mother Nature is still in that giving mood: "Have Another Cold One!"

Notice -- I said Mother Nature begins to act like our FAVORITE bartender. This doesn't necessarily mean mean she's the MOST RESPONSIBLE barkeep. Them are two entirely different things.

Frosty Bird Back 40

As an amateur citrus grower, I've kind of come to regret the month of December in the Sacramento area. Oh sure -- the cold weather means great news for stone fruit crops like peaches, pluots and cherries because they get a nice, long winter slumber. And the longer they sleep? The happier they'll be in the morning come spring-time. But if you grow stone fruit AND citrus, this can get a little tricky.

You see -- citrus likes cold weather -- to a point. But that daily dose of "have another cold one" can get a little old. This is when cracks start to appear in the machine. All that newly emerged fall growth turns a none-too-pleasant shade of brown, which can only mean one thing. And it's not too much Brown Ale, either. It means it's time to hold a funeral for that promising growth that took place in October and November.

C-9 Christmas Lights Around Duke Avocado Tree

Responsible citrus growers, like Farmer Fred Hoffman for example, will take special precautions to protect those tender citrus babies. These responsible steps include heat-producing C-9 Christmas tree lights around the tree, an even bigger, warmer and brighter light, topped off with a special cloth covering. Isn't that nice?

By the way, this is nothing compared to the steps that the large scale citrus producers are taking. They battle the fierce cold weather with giant wind turbines, water and other measures to keep the freezing temps at bay. When a single, solitary acre of citrus plantings can produce a profit of $25K? This is nothing to laugh at, especially if you have 100-200 acres of citrus to protect. In other words, that's a lot of peel, if you get my snowdrift.

Cold Dancy Mandarin Tree

Other growers, like say yours truly, practice the hope and prayer method. This does involve stringing those warm C-9 Christmas bulbs around some citrus trees. But come on people! Covering one or two trees is one thing. When some fool decides to plant eight or nine citrus trees (me), there's just not enough C-9 lights or cloth covers to go around. Know what I'm saying?

That said, I must inform you that the time honored Bird ritual of the "hope and prayer" method isn't always 100 percent successful. And I have the blackened remains of old avocado trees and various mandarin branches to prove it. All because Mother Nature decided to announce: "Have Another Cold One!"

It gets colder than cold in the Bird Back 40. I know this to be a fact. The proof I have, as I mentioned before, are the blackened remains of four or five avocado trees that were once scattered about the yard. I also have highly sensitive thermometer equipment purchased some years back in a box of Cracker Jacks that confirms my micro-climate cold settings.

Loaded Meyer Lemon Bush

I thought it odd, however, that the equipment would yield a low of six degrees in the month of June. But if you can't trust the high quality temperature equipment yielded from a box of Cracker Jacks, what can you trust?

That said -- I must report these conditions from the Bird Back 40: So far, so good. Yes -- there's been some damage to some of the smaller mandarin trees that aren't producing citrus just yet. This includes the Clementine Mandarin and the Cara Cara orange tree. But I can also report that the Hangover citrus tree and the nearby Dancy Mandarin tree are doing just fine in this frigid "Have Another Cold One" snap.

Hangover Bearss Lime Tree

What's that you say? The Hangover Citrus Tree? Oh -- that would be the Bearss Lime tree. Which, by the way, produced a FINE crop of large and juicy limes this year. I call it the Hangover Citrus Tree for a very special reason. It's responsible for a number of weekend hangovers.

What's what you say? If I didn't mix so much tequila in that freshly squeezed lime juice, I wouldn't be suffering from hangovers? What are you? A communist? Or just my voice of reason, that I try to drown out with freshly squeezed Bearss Lime juice at every occasion possible?

There's nothing quite like freshly squeezed Bearss Lime juice. Trust me on this. I've had my share.

Murcott Mandarin

And so this holiday season, remember to follow the advice offered by Farmer Fred Hoffman. Don't follow the Bird "hope and prayer" method. For I fear that my favorite bartender is about to utter her time honored phrase: "HAVE ANOTHER COLD ONE!" And we'll get it, whether we like it or not.

The BOMB!

Lime Beef Bomb

As in LIME BEEF BOMB! Gentle readers -- I am about to share a cheap n' easy recipe that will even make Poor Girl Eats Well drool on her keyboard. And she's a pretty good cook! That recipe -- once finished -- results in what you see to your right. And it can be made with any type of vegetable (including broccoli), stir fried or steamed -- it's all up to you.

The best part is? Some of the key ingredients come straight from the Bird Backyard and citrus orchard, including the bell peppers pictured above? Did you think that growing peppers was a summertime deal only? So did I! Funny thing is -- fall came and they kept right on going. They've come through rainy weather, frosty conditions and lots of fog and are still putting out some mighty tasty produce.

Who am I to complain?

Fresh Bearss Limes

This recipe originally appeared in the Sacramento Bee section for food lovers -- which Bill & Venus Bird are. If I'm not mistaken, the source the Bee used for this article was Tuk-Tuk Restaurant in North Natomas, just a hop, skip and jump from the Bird Back 40. If memory serves me correctly, this was originally a recipe for a beef salad  (Lam Nuea?) seasoned with fresh limes, hot peppers and other Thai ingredients. If you want to use this as a salad recipe, with your favorite greens, you most certainly can. This can be modified in so many different ways, which is why we make it often (also because we kind of love it).

If there is one absolute KEY ingredient to this recipe it would have to be the fresh limes that are now coming ripe by the dozens in the Bird Back 40. I realize that not everyone has a lime tree in the backyard or even the front yard. But if you can find a source for fresh Bearss Limes, I highly encourage that you take advantage of said source. I have tried a number of different lime varieties with this dish, including the Key or Mexican lime, but I keep coming back to the Bearss. It has a sweetness factor that serves this dish well.

Beef soaking in fresh lime juice and Thai herbs

Fresh limes also have another big advantage over limes purchased in your local supermarket: They are far juicier. The dish that we doubled to serve two people last night was made with just three fresh limes. In the past? When we were without fresh limes and had to settle for whatever the produce aisle offered? It took six to seven limes to accomplish the needed task. The end result wasn't nearly as good either. I cannot stress this enough: the better quality of lime that you have means a much better tasting meal.

And this is one good tasting meal.

It means a pretty good trek in cold weather to reach the Bird pepper patch these days. Much of the yard is still not landscaped in the way I would like. These vast stretches of open dirt are fine in the summer, but turn into a muddy, sticky, clay SLOP at the first hint of rain, fog or cold weather. I don't know if you've noticed or not, but it's pretty darn sloppy right now. This means the donning of mud shoes, a flashlight to find my way in the dark and a bowl to carry the harvest back inside.

Fresh bell pepper harvest

And what a harvest it was! I'm not sure why the peppers are still churning out product at this point in the season. But I'm not going to complain about it. If life gives us green peppers? We make meals with peppers, including this Lime Beef Bomb dish, fajitas or just plain raw peppers sliced and seasoned with salt, pepper and a drizzle of red wine vinegar. One other thing I've noticed? While the peppers are still growing and producing at a rather eye-popping rate, they do not offer the heat factor that summer peppers bring. That's fine by us because the wife that is Venus likes her bell peppers to be sweet, fresh and crunchy. That is exactly what she gets.

We've been blessed with a lot of production from our three-year old Bearss Lime tree this fall. It also seems to like its location. While not huge, it has grown well since we planted it. We've allowed this citrus tree to produce since the first season, and while last season's production of a single, solitary lime was a bit of a downer, this year's production of about 50 limes has us smiling from ear to ear. Fresh limes go well in cooking. They also go well in Pacifico, which is something we're just a tad familiar with.

A tad...

Chopped peppers ready for steaming

The monthly fertilization schedule that we adopted some years back for all fruit and citrus offerings in the Bird Back 40 also seems to have played a positive role in production. It's not all that difficult to be honest. The instructions from City of Folsom Arborist Ken Menzer were to throw a handful of pelleted fertilizer beneath each tree every month. It appears to be good advice. If the fertilizer regimen resulted in production like this, I highly encourage it. It also doesn't hurt to have a beehive in the backyard, as honeybees LOVE citrus flowers. Bees, as we all know, are essential pollinators. I don't know if we would have this kind of production without them.

As for the vegetables, you can use your favorite. We sometimes go the stir fry route. I happen to prefer vegetables that are lightly steamed rather than stir fried. Lightly steamed vegetables retain their crunch factor and don't contain the oil content that results from a stir fry. We do always try to use fresh vegetables for this dish because anything that comes out of a bag (frozen veggies) gets somewhat limp during the reheating process.

As the wife would say: limp is bad.

Sliced beef cooking in fresh lime juice and seasonings

We've used many different cuts of beef for this dish. Since the key to this recipe is the lime and the soak process, any cut of beef will work. Venus and I generally follow the sales and stock up on beef when it's on sale. For instance? Last night's dish featured two Harris Ranch New York steaks that we cut into strips. But we've also used Tri-Tip for this meal as well as London Broil. In other words? It's "whatever you got." Ground turkey also works with this dish, but I must admit, beef is just so much better.

And now -- without further adieu -- the recipe for LIME BEEF BOMB. Remember this one piece of advice: the key to this recipe is the quality of the lime used, and the soak factor. The longer the beef soaks in the lime mixture, the better.

Happy eating!

LIME BEEF BOMB

(note, we usually double this recipe for two people)

1/4 cup freshly squeezed lime juice (about two limes)

1 tablespoon soy sauce

1 tablespoon sugar (substitute honey if you want)

1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes

1 tablespoon Sesame Seed Oil (any oil can be used, but Sesame Oil adds taste)

1/2 lb steak (tri-tip is good, we used NY Steak last night)

Steamed peppers

Directions: Cut beef into long, thin strips and layer into a wide, raised bowl. Once the first layer is complete, spinkle liberally with salt and pepper and press into meat. Add a second layer of beef and again sprinkle liberally with salt and pepper and again press into meat. Keep repeating this process depending on how much of this you make.

Mix lime juice, soy sauce, sugar, red pepper flakes and oil together. Mix well. Pour half to three quarters of this mixture over beef . Let soak at least 30 minutes before stir frying or just frying in a regular pan. Cook until most of the lime mixture has evaporated,. OR -- if you enjoy a raw beef, reduce cooking time.

The absolute KEY to this meal is the LIME and the SOAK process. Add the cooked beef to an already prepared salad or steamed or stir fry vegetables and rice and enjoy it in another way.

We Wish You a Merry Citrus!

Loaded Bearss Lime: Bird Back 40

We Wish You a Merry Citrus!

And a Happy New . . .Lime.

BOOOOOOOO!

This is the train wreck that happens when writer's literally write themselves into a corner. Didn't know writers could do that? If you've read any of my previous stuff, you'll know that's entirely possible. I start out with what I think is a fairly good idea -- and then it just all goes to Heck in a Handbasket. Steve Mallory might suggest that I've "Gilded the Lilly," but that would require a lilly to begin with.

With the summer vegetable garden a distant memory and fall crops like onions, garlic and spinach poking out of the soil (let's not forget the fall potato crop!) -- it's time to appreciate the other nice things about fall and the impending onset of winter.

Bearss Lime Tree

The best part about this time of the season: It has to be the fresh citrus -- like the fresh Bearss Limes pictured above. This is the third year of production for the Bearss Lime that Venus and I planted into a barren side yard, and we're off to a nice little start. The lime appears to like where it's planted. It's growing quickly. And, after yielding a single, solitary lime last season, we've jumped ahead this year to about 30-40.

Not bad if I say so myself.

But the Bearss Lime isn't the only citrus tree offering in the North Natomas Ranch that's showing impressive color and production this year. Thanks to some mighty fine advice by a rather popular NewsTalk 1530, KFBK Garden Talk Show host -- the Birds are harvesting one of the sweetest, tartest pieces of citrus that I've ever tasted.

Ripe Owari Satsuma Mandarins

I wanted to plant the sweetest variety of citrus I could find. Venus, who is not a fan of the seeds found in the Dancy Tangerine, wanted something seedless. Farmer Fred Hoffman didn't think twice when he responded with the advice of "Owari Satsuma Mandarin."

I searched high and low for that Owari Satsuma Mandarin before I settled on a tree that had just been delivered to my local Home Depot. In most cases I get most of my fruit trees from local nurseries because they offer the Dave Wilson selections that I'm searching for, PLUS, the stock is better quality than what you'll find at your local Big Box Store. Plus, nurseries tend to stock those hard to find varieties that other places don't.

Owari Satsuma Mandarin: Year 1

But the story is different when it comes to citrus. Four Winds Growers, located in Winters, CA, is the primary supplier of citrus trees to all nurseries AND big box stores in Northern California. Nurseries tend to get better looking stock upon delivery, but if you camp out at your local big box store at just the right moment, you just might find yourself a steal of a deal.

That's where I discovered the Dancy Tangerine, loaded with bright orange tangerines I might add (a salivating sight to any lover of citrus), four short years ago. It's where I also picked up the Owari Satsuma just last year. It had just been unloaded from a delivery truck, but didn't last long in the Home Depot nursery aisle. It was the best looking one of the bunch delivered on that cold December day, and I must admit it looks pretty good in the backyard.

Dancy Tangerines

Although the vast majority of citrus ripens in the fall, not all varieties are ready for harvest at once. I was pleasantly surprised to discover that the Owari Satsuma started to ripen in October and is now delivering a sweet and tasty crop of mandarins. The Dancy Tangerine, meanwhile, is still green. Based upon harvests from the previous years, these won't start coming ripe until around Christmas. That's right about when the mandarins will begin to play out.

As for the Meyer Lemons? The news is both good and bad. We have a heavy crop on one tree -- and nary a lemon to be found on the other. I was also rather SHOCKED to discover that the larger of the two Meyer lemons was GROWING multiple shoots and branches in this cold fall weather, after not doing much of anything this spring.

Fall Growth on the Meyer Lemon

Good news? I suppose so. But if a cold frost should decide to hit in the next week or six (some winters are worse than others), those tender new shoots are toast. They will freeze. They will burn. They'll turn a none-too-pleasant shade of black. I'd rather the Meyer Lemon send out loads of new growth in the spring, but let's be honest: Meyer Lemons don't exactly cooperate with what the owner wants. I suppose I should be happy with the new growth spurt and leave it at that.

Despite the good news, we're not done yet. In fact, you could say we're just getting started. We manage to plant something new every year -- and this year is no different. South Natomas grower and citrus aficionado Nels Christensen gifted us with a Cara Cara Orange tree late last spring and it is still sitting in a pot, waiting for its permanent home. The process of grafting will soon yield other varieties of citrus. Short and sweet? There's a long way to go.

I could write all day about citrus -- but alas -- it's time for dinner. Tonight's offering? Turkey Pho, with leftover turkey, and pho broth generously sprinkled with fresh lime juice.

It's an Orange New Year!!!

Precious the cat being "precious."

...and a Happy 2011 to you as well! I tell you -- it's been a busy start to what promises to be an even busier New Year. 2011 brings all sorts of challenges to the Bird Household -- which includes a new job -- which deals with a LOT of writing.

Writing about VEGETABLE GARDENING matters you ask? Hah! No -- that would be my dream job. I'll do that in retirement -- along with my other dream job -- selling Steer Manure Compost at my local Home Depot. Us Birds can never retire you know. We have some sort of wacky gene that shuts off the heart muscle at any moment retirement plans are made.

From L-R: Deborah, Andy & Mary Bird

So -- we don't use the word "retire." We use the term; "moving onto the next career," instead. Hopefully, that terrible Bird Family gene will be satisfied and not give the dreaded Final Order. My older sister -- who is quite the vegetable gardener and gourmet chef herself (she's to the left in the family photo) -- is currently preparing for her next career as "Horse Whisperer."

I figure she can supply me with plenty of horse apples with this new profession. But I digress...

Don't you just love this weather? I loved the handy-dandy gardening guide that appeared in last Saturday's Home and Garden section of the Sacramento Bee. It contained lots of colorful suggestions for each month out of the gardening year. You can find it right here if you missed it. It made me want to run right outside and put what was in print into practice -- until I realized it was POURING BUCKETS OF RAIN.

There's nothing like an inch of rain or two to -- uh -- dampen that gardening spirit. Put away the trowel son. Turn on the Mud Bowl instead -- featuring two college nobodies that you've never heard of. Mother Nature has since shut off the spigot -- and given us a blast of icy cold arctic air.

Yet another gardening downer.

Dancy Tangerine tree in November

But -- despite the flooded backyard and muddy gardening areas -- the wonderful wife that is Venus and I have been happily harvesting during this cold weather period. The Dancy Tangerines that were ripening on ye olde citrus tree during October and November are now ready for harvest. This is the third year for my Dancy -- and I must say -- it's been the best ever.

The frosty mornings that kissed our backyards during the months of November and December did not take the terrible toll that I had feared it might. We're not quite out of frost danger yet -- not hardly -- and although a solitary leaf took a freeze hit here and there -- most of our citrus trees are undamaged.

Indeed -- my Bearss Lime tree continues to grow -- as does the Improved Meyer Lemon. In fact -- as I type this -- the Meyer Lemon is actually FLOWERING.

Dancy Tangerines

But -- it's the Dancy that is the real star of this show. It's the oldest citrus tree in our young backyard. It's been -- by far -- the most productive. If I'm brave enough to slip on a pair of mud shoes and traverse through what seems to be a long stretch of brown clay slop -- I'm rewarded with a bowl of 15-20 tangerines.

My initial fear was that the frost had sucked out every last remaining bit of moisture from these tangerines. This has happened in the past. There's nothing quite like the downer of chewing on a tangerine that is as dry as dust. It's sort of like chewing on a well-used mud shoe.

But -- my fears were put to rest during the first harvest. I came back from the mud adventure with a bowl of juicy -- sweet and sour citrus. Better yet? If I let the tangerines sit for a day or two and come to room temperature? The sweetness factor jumped X 10.

I've always been a fan of mixing different kinds of fruit to see "what happens," and I didn't stop with the Dancy Tangerines. I'd like to tell you that I have a Pineapple Tree in the backyard. But that would be -- in fact -- a LIE. However -- pineapples were on sale that week at my local Bel-Air Grocery Store...

Tangerine & Pineapple Breakfast!!! YUM!!!

And who can resist a big, fat pineapple for a $1.99? I can't. So -- two pineapples came home with me on that day. And they found there way into this breakfast bowl of tangerines and pineapples that I prepared for the wonderful wife and I this past weekend.

So -- gardeners -- I share your frustrations. It's wet. It's cold. Conditions just aren't conduicive to stepping outside and digging in the dirt right now. But there's still lots to be done. It's BARE ROOT season people! It's time to order seeds (if you haven't already)! Time to set up the seed rack! Get the grow lights ready!

The 2011 gardening season -- and harvest -- is now -- officially -- underway.

Merry Christmas to ME!!! Merry Christmas to ME!!!

The Bird Casa

Everyone knows that the best Christmas gifts in the whole wide world are those that you buy for yourself.

That's a Bill Bird rule. I just made it up. Live with it.

I always overdo it at Christmas. That's especially true when it comes to the Christmas light display outside. Like Clark Griswold -- my feeling is -- you can never have too many lights. It may take the better part of a Sunday afternoon to set it up and string out miles of extension cords -- but it's a house that Santa Claus cannot possibly ignore come Christmas Eve.

This is also the time of year to look for specific gardening "deals." I've already explained my love for all things citrus in a previous post. Although I've got two Improved Meyer Lemons and a Bearss Lime growing in the Bird Back 40 -- I'm always looking to expand upon my citrus plantings.

When it comes to citrus -- there are deals to be had in the month of December -- if you know where and when to find them.

Dancy Tangerine Tree

I figured this out -- quite by accident - three years ago. That's when I stumbled upon this gorgeous Dancy Tangerine sitting in a neglected aisle of a very wet -- and very empty I might add -- Home Depot garden section. It stood four feet high and was loaded with bright orange tangerines.

The price? $20. I couldn't buy it fast enough. Sure enough -- as I swooped in on what would be the citrus deal of that year -- so did about three other shoppers who attempted to beat me to the punch.

They weren't fast enough on that night three years ago.

Today -- that Dancy Tangerine is planted in one of my wide side yards. It's now about eight feet tall and is once again loaded with about 40-50 bright orange tangerines. They are ripening a tad quicker this year than last -- which means three or four just might be ready for harvest on Christmas Day.

Dancy Tangerines

A Mimosa for the wonderful wife that is Venus on Christmas morning? I think so! And -- perhaps her husband as well.

My point is -- this tree was a steal of a deal. I don't often shop for fruit or citrus trees at Big Box stores like Home Depot or Lowes. Not that I'm a snob or anything like that -- but you tend to get better quality fruit and citrus trees at nurseries like Don Shor's Redwood Barn or even Capital Nursery.

Are they more expensive? Of course! Better quality trees cost a few extra bucks. But they tend to be better quality fruit and citrus trees -- and don't come with the myriad of problems that the "$14.99 Big Box Deal" can bring. Trust me -- I've lost a few of those trees to disease. I've learned my lesson. From now on -- it's nursery stock and nursery stock only.

The one exception to this rule? Citrus. If you know what you're looking for -- you can get a STEAL OF A DEAL. But this is only true if you know where to shop -- what to look for -- and when to buy.

Improved Meyer Lemon

Case in point: the month of December.

I know -- from experience -- that for some odd reason -- the North Natomas Home Depot ALWAYS gets a shipment of citrus trees in from Four Winds Growers -- the premiere supplier of citrus trees to Northern California. But -- much of that stock that you find at your local Big Box store isn't worth a second look.

In other words -- it just isn't worth it. Many of them are dwarf varieties. Nothing against dwarf fruit or citrus trees mind you -- but I've come to discover that small trees = small harvests. If you do happen to find a full-size tree -- it's often priced to the point where it's better to shop for your desires at a local nursery.

Owari Satsuma Mandarin

But if you arrive at just the right time -- right after the truck has been unloaded -- you're going to find a little gem like this one to your right. That -- Ladies and Germs -- is a citrus tree that I've been trying to get into my backyard for the past two years. It's an Owari Satsuma Mandarin -- the absolute best tasting mandarin you can find anywhere on the planet. But -- I'm not alone in this opinion.

Farmer Fred Hoffman -- of KFBK Garden Show fame on NewsTalk 1530 KFBK and Get Growing on Talk 650 KSTE -- has proclaimed the Owari Satsuma as one of his personal favorites. I've been looking for the right kind of tree for a very long time now. But everything I've found just wasn't what I was looking for -- or it presented too much of a hit on ye olde wallet.

Wet North Natomas Home Depot

Until now. I spotted it yesterday during a heavy downpour in the very back of the North Natomas Home Depot. It had just been delivered the previous day. It just stood out from the rest. It was a thing of beauty. And it's now in my backyard. As I wheeled it inside (dripping wet I might add) -- many a customer asked where I'd found it. Sure enough -- despite the heavy rain falling outside -- many of them beat a path to where I had just been.

Of course -- I failed to tell them that this was the best looking tree of the lot by a MILE.

It is six feet tall. It has been meticulously pruned and cared for. This will eventually grow into a full size mandarin citrus tree that can grow to a height of 20 feet or more and will yield hundreds of tasty Satsuma Mandarins once it reaches full maturity.

Purchased at a local nursery -- a tree like this would run anywhere from $100-$125.

I didn't even come close to paying half that amount.

I feel like a kid on Christmas morning.

Merry Freaking Christmas to ME! 

Belly Up to the Bar Boys (and Girls)!!!

Some people might mistake this as a citrus patch. Don't be silly. If you've spent the same amount of time in Sacramento area dive bars as I have -- then you know what this is!

It's the Bird Supply of Margarita Mixers :)

Next stop: Margaritaville. The Improved Meyer Lemon pictured to your right is now in its second year and producing. Not a lot -- not yet. But this is just the start. Check back in about seven to ten years.

The point here is -- wifey and I LOOOOOVE fresh citrus. We can't get enough of it. There was a time and place years ago -- when a former roommate delivered freshly harvested lemons from a fifty plus year old lemon tree from her southeast Fresno backyard.

Best lemons on the planet bar none. No delivery was too large. She couldn't bring enough. Venus and I would set up the electric juicer (the best invention known to all mankind) and juice to our heart's content.

That juicing session would normally result in three or four gallons of freshly squeezed lemon juice. No matter. We would freeze a lot of it. The rest went into batches of LIP SMACKING LEMONADE -- and yes -- I must admit -- we did make our fair share of Margaritas.

As we sat together in that Citrus Heights duplex sipping Manna from Heaven -- the woman that I loved and I both vowed that someday we would have our own little slice of heaven.

Fast foward to North Natomas 2009 -- and Heaven is slowly on its way.

Of course -- we did plant some citrus at our first Natomas home. But you can't really plant much in a backyard that isn't much bigger than a shoe closet. Still -- if you visit that first backyard today -- you will find a Dwarf Meyer Lemon and a Dwarf Mexican (Key) Lime.

Wonderful trees -- no doubt. But they weren't going to satisfy our citrus desires. Not by a longshot. This is the sad truth about dwarf anything: sure -- it fits in a small spot. But the harvest is rather disappointing. Small trees result in small harvests and that's the sad truth.

That's why my wonderful wife and I needed the large yard. We didn't want dwarf trees. We wanted BIG MONSTERS that produce a boatload of citrus year in and year out without fail. We want the lemon and lime trees that will keep us pickled in margaritas year-round. We want a never-ending supply of fresh-squeezed orange juice. We want a tasty supply of tangerines and satsumas that never end. And we want it all right outside our back door.

Pie in the Sky thinking? Mebbe. But, we're getting there.

We've chose to populate one of the side yards as our own, personal, Margarita "patch." This little corner of heaven currently contains an Improved Meyer Lemon, Bearss Lime, Washington Navel Orange and the tree pictured to your right: The Dancy Tangerine.

Soon to come? An Owari Satsuma and another lemon. It might be another Improved Meyer -- or EUREKA! It just might be a Eureka. Sorry. Lame attempt at a joke there.

It is the Dancy that has done best so far -- although the Meyer Lemon isn't far behind. I found the Dancy Tangerine at Home Depot a year ago last December. It had just come off the delivery truck. It was LOADED with bright orange tangerines -- about 20 of them. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

Other people nearby spotted it too when it came off that delivery truck. We all made a mad dash for it. It's probably the only race I have ever won in my lifetime. I grabbed it first -- brought it home -- enjoyed that first harvest with Venus and then gave our tangerine tree a prime spot in the side yard.

I was a little disappointed when it failed to produce anything last year -- but this year? Different story completely. I was a little concerned at first when these strange green sticks -- devoid of any leaf cover -- emerged from the top of the tree and started growing at an exponential rate. But -- as it turned out -- there was no reason to be concerned. Those were new branches emerging and they soon leafed out.

The Meyer Lemon is current starting to exhibit the same growth spurt. I know in time that the size of these trees will double -- triple -- quadruple. I don't want small trees. I want monsters. Monster trees deliver a monster harvest. Our goal? Keep the neighborhood pickled in margaritas.

There's no question in my mind that the denizens of the Hello Kitty Beehive aided in this year's citrus production. We went from zero production last year to outstanding production in the space of one year. And -- as each citrus tree flowered -- the bees attacked each blossom.

We've been harvesting limes for the past week or two -- which go wonderful in a bottle of Pacifico or beef stir fry creation that we grabbed off the internets recently. I've put the recipe below -- and I wish you the best of luck -- but I can pretty much assure that you won't be able to duplicate this incredible taste.

Unless you too have a lime tree in your backyard. Because there's nothing quite like a tree-ripened, freshly harvested, Bearss Lime.

Stir Fry Lime Beef Bomb (I made that up)

Note: We usually double this recipe

1/4 cup freshly squeezed lime juice (about two limes)

1 tablespoon soy sauce

1 tablespoon sugar

1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes

1 tablespoon Sesame Seed Oil (note: you can use any oil -- but Sesame Seed Oil adds to the taste)

1/2 lb. steak (tri-tip works best)

Salt and ground pepper

Directions: Cut beef into long, thin strips and layer into a wide, raised bowl. Once the first layer is complete -- sprinkle liberally with salt and pepper. Add a second layer of beef and again sprinkle with salt and pepper. Keep repeating this process depending on how much of this you make.

Mix lime juice, soy sauce, sugar, red pepper flaks and oil together. Mix well. Pour half to three quarters of this mixture over beef. Let soak at least 30 minutes before stir frying or just frying in a regular frying pan.

Cook through until most of the lime mixture has evaporated. Or -- if you enjoy a raw beef -- reduce cooking time.

The absolute KEY to this meal is the BEEF and the SOAK process. You can add the cooked beef to an already prepared salad -- or you can steam some vegetables and rice and enjoy it another way.

Whatever option you choose -- use the lime-soy-sugar-oil mixture you held in reserve to sprinkle over your salad or vegetables before consuming.

Good stuff Maynard. Two thumbs up.