From San Diego With Onions

007 Likes Onions in his Martinis

OK. So it's not quite as flashy as From Russia with Love. It may not even contain the intrigue, action, drama, special effects (OK, none of that). It doesn't even have an Auric Goldfinger or Rosa Klebb -- though SMERSH (Death to Spies) just might be involved here. What this blog posting does have, however, is a mystery. It's a deep, dark, somewhat smelly mystery that might never be solved.

Not even by the great 007, James Bond.

Onion Plant Starters

I bring you the case of the Missing Madcap Onions. The no-show scallions. The ghostly gibbons. OK, that's enough. They are like the onions you see pictured to your left. These onions are now planted in the Bird Back 40. There are three different varieties here, representing red, yellow and white.

So what's the mystery you ask? I'll tell you. The onions sets you see planted in the Bird Back 40 are "replacement" onions. They represent a second, rush shipment from Dixondale Farms in Texas. As for the first shipment? Where is that first shipment? Nobody quite really knows. And that's were the mystery begins.

It was South Natomas gardening zen-master Nels Christensen who first suggested last fall that we "tag team" on our order of onions this year. It made sense. Why pay for two shipping charges instead of one? Plus, the onions get somewhat cheaper when you buy more of them. So, by combining the order we paid less for them and avoided an additional shipping charge. As Wile E. Coyote once summarized: Our thinking was "genius."

Online Tracking for Onion Plant Starters

And then, the United States Postal Service got involved.

I love online tracking. I'm not sure who started it first, but everyone uses it now. It allows you to track a package or special order as it makes its stops here and there before arriving at your front door. Online tracking even informs you when that package will arrive at your front door.

In the case of Nels Christensen and Bill Bird, online tracking told us our 2013 shipment of onions from Dixondale Farms had arrived at the West Sacramento Postal Sort Facility on February 9th, a Saturday. With this information, we could expect a Monday or Tuesday delivery.

Super Star (White) Onions

The package never arrived.

This prompted a worried call from Nels to the West Sacramento USPS office where he received the response of: "Onions? We don't have any onions."

It seems our onions had vanished. Nobody was quite sure where they went. Five long days went by and still no onions, and worse yet, no response from the USPS. But, on February 15th, a single-word item appeared in our online tracking system: "Missent." Well! Where did they send them we wondered? Mars? Why would it take five days to locate a box of fresh onion plants? They'd certainly be stinking up a storm right about now.

Red Candy Apple Onion Starters

More information appeared in our onion online tracking that very same day. The missing box of onions was reported at the West Sacramento sort facility again. Well, this was good news! Right? This meant we could expect delivery by the next day!

Or so we thought. Two days later we learned that our wayward batch of smelly onion plant starters had been shipped to San Diego. It's not Mars, per se, but gardening is rather local. Nels and I don't have garden plots in San Diego. We have them in Sacramento, Natomas to be exact.

Replacement Box of Onion Starters

So how did the onions wind up in San Diego? That's a good question. Not even the USPS could tell us. In fact, if you called the USPS sort facility in San Diego they would claim: "Onions? We don't have no stinkin' onions," or something that effect.

You would think that the online tracking system would be updated with the message of "Really, really Missent," or "We screwed up bad there, bud." But nary a word crossed the online tracking system for four days. At that point? Our missing box of onion plants was on the move again. This time they were destined for  Carrizo Springs, Texas. That is where they had been shipped from originally two weeks ago. But instead of turning around and heading back to Sacramento, the USPS decided to send our quite-ripe box of onion plant starters back to the grower.

Venus Plants

Why? Good question! I told you this was a mystery! Ah -- but it gets even better.

I emailed Dixondale Farms with the request for a photo of our missing box of onion plant starters because I wanted to see the damage that had been done to it after two weeks of moving from one USPS sort facility to another. Dixondale Farms emailed back with the response: "We can't. The box was empty."

So where is that first shipment of onions? We can only deduce that someone, somewhere got a surprise delivery of half-dead onion starters with the code names of "Candy Apple Red" and "Super Star." And this person is now wondering if they've become the unwitting target of SMERSH (Death to Spies). Think about it for a moment. How many people get deliveries of smelly, half dead onion plant starters? Would you be a tad bit concerned?

Where are the onions? Rosa Klebb might know...

I'm pleased to report that during this Great Onion Adventure, the good folks at Dixondale Farms rushed a second delivery to our front door and this one actually arrived, on time, and in fairly good condition. The onions are planted. The onions are growing. And there's nothing quite like an onion starter from Dixondale Farms. Venus and I planted our first bunch of onion plant starters last spring, and we were munching on a whopper of a harvest through late fall and early winter.

You'll even find a bit of "Super Star" and "Candy Apple Red" in our moderately famous "Roasted Garlic, Pepper and Heirloom Tomato Salsa." Yeah, those onions are THAT good.

But as for that first shipment of onion plants? You're guess is as good as mine, 007.

What Day is it Sacramento?

Onion Bed After Planting-Bird Back 40

The answer is "Intermediate-Day." The answer is always "Intermediate-Day" no matter what time of the day or week it is. You see -- this is a trick question.

How dare I do such a thing!

The raised planting bed to your immediate right contains one of our latest outdoor gardening projects (there are indoor projects that I will get too later, of course). What are those little things that look like tiny matchsticks in the ground?

They are onions.

Onions? You mean, green onions? NOPE! These are going to be -- hopefully I might add -- regular sized onions in a few months. Remember what I told you about gardening and experimentation?

This is one of those experiments.

Onions in a Box? How Quaint!

It's also called "following advice." South Natomas grower Nels Christensen has been pushing me to try his grand onion planting adventure for a couple of years now. When he delivered one of the fattest red onions I'd ever seen to my front doorstep last year -- I thought he might be onto something.

Fat onions = Good times.

This year -- my onions arrived in a neatly packed box (pictured above left). In past years? I have always relied upon onion sets. These weren't always reliable. Although they did produce some whoppers -- they were usually far and few between. Most could be considered disappointing and I had always wondered what I might be doing wrong.

For the uninformed -- onion sets are small bulbs less than 1" in diameter. In the Sacramento Valley, they are usually planted in late fall – about the same time as garlic bulbs – to produce big onions. They can also be planted in the early spring to produce green (salad) onions. For me? It didn't matter when or where I planted them. I usually wound up with a few whoppers and lots and lots of green onions.

Box Packed with Onion Starter Plants-Dixondale Farms

But after Nels dropped off the fattest red onion I'd seen come out of a backyard garden -- well -- that kind of peaked my interest a bit. Nels has got a bit of a head start on me in this gardening game -- and it's never a good idea to ignore good advice (although I sometimes do).

This year -- I decided to do something a little different. I passed on the sets offered up at local nurseries and took a flier on a place called Dixondale Farms -- a big onion operation out of central Texas. It's near the town of Pancake, and by looking at several photos of the operation in question, I wondered if the town earned it's name due to the fact that the surrounding land is as flat as a -- uh -- you know.

It was on the Dixondale Farms website where I learned I'd been making a series of blunders regarding my onion plantings. As it turns out? Not all onions are created equal. In the United States, there are three different classifications of onions: Long-Day, Intermediate-Day and Short-Day.

Venus planting Candy Apple Red Variety

If you make the mistake of planting a Long Day variety in a zone set aside for Intermediate-Day or Short-Day onions? According to Dixondale Farms -- you're in a world of hurt. You're going to get a few whoppers and lots of small green onions.

This had a ring of truth to it -- at least for me. Sacramento is officially classified in the Intermediate-Day zone. That's news to me, since I had no clue these zones existed. Worse yet, I would come to find out that most onion sets sold at nurseries are Long-Day zone varieties. It means that no matter how good your soil, water and fertilizer regimen is: you're going to get a few whoppers and lots of smallish green onions.

I'm not going to go into the science of it all -- because I do my best not to bore people to death on this blog (Hey! WAKE UP!). But if you're really into onions -- and want to "read all about it" as they say -- I suggest you spend 30-45 minutes on the Dixondale Farms website. Plus -- those youtube videos they host are really campy.



Dixondale Farms youtube Page



If you ever wondered what happened to Jed Clampett and the Beverly Hillbillies -- now you know (no disrepect intended there, Jed). These people know their onions.

So -- bottom line? In the Bird Back 40 this year the wife that is Venus and I have planted three different varieties of Intermediate-Day onions: Candy, Red Candy Apple and Super Star. They were not shipped as sets, either. These arrived as living plants -- fresh from the field -- each tightly wrapped bundle containing anywhere from 50-75 onion starters.

Do the math people. If experience a success rate of just 50% -- that's nearly 100 onions. Do you really think we're going to eat 100 onions? Plus -- I've been assured by Nels and others who use Dixondale Farms that the success rate is much higher.

Onions Ready for Transplanting!

These onions -- which required an investment of less than $20 (free shipping too -- these people don't muss around) -- were planted in three different raised beds on the day that they arrived. They have already taken root in our mild winter weather here on the Left Coast and are growing like -- well -- onions.

So -- if you happen to see a North Natomas couple shedding more than a few tears later this summer around onion harvest time -- don't be sad. You'll know this is one of those rare experiments that actually worked.