The Trap

Garden Porn

Gardening is indeed filled with them. I'm referring to "traps," of course. They are easy to fall into. They are hard to get out of. They are just as serious as the trap that many gardeners had fallen into before the onset of heirloom tomato madness.

Remember that trap? Remember, at one time, there were only three types of tomatoes? They were named Early Girl, Better Boy and ACE. Tomatoes were supposed to be red, remember? They were supposed to be perfectly round, do you recall that? Anything else was not a tomato. And so, you grew the same varieties year after year after year after year.

We simply didn't understand there was something better out there -- until we took that big jump -- that big leap of faith. Green tomatoes? Purple tomatoes? BLACK tomatoes?

Heirloom Tomato Seeds for the 2012 Garden!

Indeed!

This is indeed seed starting season for many tomato growers. Some have already planted. Even more will plant this weekend. Some may wait another week. But February is normally the "golden" month for tomato seed starting efforts on the Left Coast.

The trap that I am referring too is pictured all over in this blog posting. Mr. Postman has been stuffing our mail slot with lots and lots of tomato and vegetable porn lately. All catalogs carry the promise of big, beautiful heirloom tomatoes and a monster harvest. One good read and you can't wait for spring and planting season to arrive.

I can't do without Eva Purple Ball! I just CAN'T!

The trap springs shut when you begin to place your orders for the year. Heirloom growers are partial to certain varieties. Every heirloom tomato garden, for example, should include one or several different types of Brandywine. Don't dare pass on that Marianna's Peace! Black Krim is a must! And what about Bloody Butcher? Can you really do without a Kelloggs Breakfast?

It's very easy for heirloom tomato growers to start ordering the same varieties of heirlooms every single year. They did so well the year before, how can you possibly do without them? Suddenly, you begin to realize that you've fallen into the same trap and the same rut you were stuck in when you were under the mistaken belief that there were only three types of tomatoes: Round and Red.

Tatiana Kouchnareva, Tatiana's TOMATObase

It's very easy to stop experimenting with new varieties and stick with what is tried and true in your garden. Sure, you've expanded your base a little bit. But not nearly enough. There are literally THOUSANDS of varieties of heirloom and non-heirloom tomatoes. Tatiana's TOMATObase, for example, has an extensive listing of potato-leaf varieties. While some names are familiar, most are not.

Seed catalogs are sometimes helpful, but many times not. Many seed outlets offer the same type of seed for the same type of variety, year after year. They don't deviate much, even though they do service heirloom tomato growers. But they only scratch at the surface of what is truly available.

Cleota Pink Tomato

You're going to find a listing for Brandywine at Tomato Growers Supply, but a search for Cleota Pink won't yield much. The same holds true for Jagged Leaf, Kansas Depression, Burwood Prize or Gerig. These are ALL potato-leaf varieties of heirloom tomatoes. Finding seed sources for these varieties can be difficult. Google the names. See what comes up. Not much.

I'll be honest. I had nearly fallen into this trap. Sure -- I was growing heirloom tomatoes. But I found myself growing the same varieties year after year. There had to be space for a Brandywine. I couldn't do without a Campbell's 1327. A year without Druzba was a year without sunshine.

Gregory's Altai: A New Selection

See what I'm getting at? Where is the fun, excitement and discovery in growing the same varieties year after year after year? The point is -- there isn't any. And that is the trap.

So -- my pledge is this: I'm going to go without a few of the beloved varieties so I can continue experimenting in the garden. Yes, there will still be a Brandywine. But there will also be a Gregory's Altai. South Natomas grower Nels Christensen is also delivering a selection of seed featuring varieties I've never heard of before.

Change is a good thing. The trap will not spring shut this year.

Monsters in the Backyard

PVC Support Cages-Bird Back 40

Eye popping. Astounding. Scary.

No -- I am not referring to the size of my stomach. Though that does need some work -- and is monsterish in a monster sort of way -- the monsters I am referring to are pictured to the right. This scary mass of growth is the Bird 2011 heirloom tomato garden barely five weeks after plant out.

Yes -- those are the famous Thomas Matkey PVC cages that have now been installed. This is just the first tier. The second tier will come in another few weeks. Setting this up -- this year at least -- was no easy task. The cages in front of you took the better part of two days to install.

And they are not installed as well as I would like.

Assembled Matkey PVC Cage Tier

In a "normal" tomato year (what year is really normal?) -- I lay the first tier construction over the plant -- mark off the holes with stakes -- remove the tier and pound PVC supports into the ground where the stakes have been placed. This usually makes for a fairly good fit -- although it never is quite "perfect." But -- PVC is forgiving. It bends. So -- if a post isn't exactly straight? You can bend it somewhat to where the first tier assembly will snap right on with no problems whatsoever.

But -- again -- this is a "normal" tomato year. This year has not been "normal" by any stretch of the imagination. Rain and hail have wiped out a couple of weekends that would normally be reserved for gardening purposes. Family issues -- such as cleaning out the house of my dear, departed father-in-law -- have claimed another couple of gardening days.

Lush 2011 Heirloom Tomato Garden

And so -- when I finally did find the time to start assembling the PVC supports -- I discovered (much to my chagrin) that every single plant had grown far to large and far to lush for me to place a tier assembly over the top of said plant. Any attempt to fit that square peg into a round hole resulted in (HORRORS!) broken branches -- bruised stems -- torn leaves -- blossoms knocked to the ground and early season production pounded into the ground.

Instead -- I was forced to adopt a tactic that I employed some two years ago when I again waited far too long to put the PVC cages on.

This little installation trick involves putting the entire cage together first -- attaching four 30-inch vertical supports to the assembled first tier (pictured above) -- and then hammering it into the ground from above. This is difficult as you need to drive all four PVC supports in at the same time -- all at the same level. One wrong "THWACK" with the rubber hammer can (and did) cause the assembled tier to suddenly break apart.

Pound! But Don't Break!

Extra care and attention must also be given to the entry points for each 30-inch PVC vertical. The tomato plants had grown so large and lush that many had grown right into one another. We don't want to be pounding stakes through branches, now do we? We also don't want to drive stakes through the drip irrigation sprinklers that are now buried under massive, lush tomato leaves and branches.

Dear neighbors: If you were wondering why I was using a flashlight to peer into tomato plants during the light of day -- now you know the reason why. It wasn't a sudden fit of insanity -- though that probably isn't far off.

Early Season Production: Green Zebra

And now? A bit of good news! All 24 PVC cages are now assembled and hammered into place. Despite the crummy May weather -- the rain and hail hasn't stunted growth nor has it led to the onset of disease (which is always possible when you're cramming tomato plants into a small space). Most plants are now three feet tall, with the exception of the Marianna's Peace, which is closer to four.

Installing PVC cages from above also means a close inspection of each plant, which revealed quite a bit of early season production. Nearly every plant has set at least two or three early season tomatoes. The early producers like Bloody Butcher, Tigerella, Stupice and Early Girl have set decidedly more.

The monsters are growing. Beware.

And now -- to answer a few questions:

How much to these PVC Cages Cost? Each cage costs $7 to $10. The most expensive pieces -- the PVC Cross -- sell for $1 each. Each cage requires four crosses. The top tier is constructed with PVC T's -- which are decidedly cheaper.

How strong are PVC Cages? I've never lost a single one. They hold up to strong winds, heavy crops, marauding cats, whatever Mother Nature can throw at them.

Are the PVC pieces glued together? No -- otherwise I'd never get them apart. They hold together quite well without glue.

How many years have you used this design? This is the fourth year of use for these cages. Not one piece has ever broken or so much as cracked.

What is the biggest drawback? If there is a drawback -- it's the time involved. Each piece must be cut to size. Putting each cage together also takes time.

How do you build these cages? Step-by-step instructions, with photos, can be found here.

Horse Tradin' Time...

Trading Time at the Bird Ranch for Wayward Heirlooms

It has arrived. One of my most favorite times of the year is here at last. The summer tomato garden is mostly planted. We have 24 plants in -- and I will most likely find room to plant another eight to ten. This doesn't count the massive numbers of cherry tomatoes that spring up in every nook and cranny of the backyard now. They don't count.

Nope -- we're talking "real" tomatoes here.

So -- what's on the list? What eight to ten heirloom tomato varieties will round out the heirloom tomato garden in the Bird Back 40 this spring? That's a good question! I don't really know the answer just yet. And this is when "horse tradin' time" comes in.

It's time to check in with other gardeners who have also been nurturing heirloom tomato plants from seed during the cold winter months. The question to them is  -- "What You Got?" They return the same question in a coy sort of way. Nobody gives away their hand. This is serious business, friends. It's a bit like five-card stud or any other good hand of poker. Each plant is like a card in a 52-card deck. Some are worth more than others.

Angela Lyons: Knows her Heirloom Tomatoes

The goal of this game? It's the same goal as a high-stakes game of seven-card Follow the Queen: Get the best hand possible. I don't know what eight to ten heirloom tomato plants will round out the Bird summer garden just yet. I'm still drawing cards from the deck. This hand has yet to be played.

This "game," which has some fairly loose rules, is already underway thanks to the super-charged and picture-perfect growing techniques of Sacramento Starter Plant Star Angela Lyons. Once again, this lady has enlisted the help of a magic waterbed to grow some magnificent starter plants -- two of which have already been delivered (plus one pepper starter to boot!).

Angela's gift to the Bird Garden this year is an Early Girl -- which has already produced three small tomatoes just since it was planted into its final home five days ago. But the real prize in this exchange? It's not the Early Girl -- it's the Black Cherry starter that came with it. Black Cherry starter plants are ALWAYS in high demand -- and this one has already found a home in in the garden of a shall-not-be-named, high-ranking, political operative.

Ssssh!! We won't tell the Fair Political Practices Commission. Like they read the blog anyway...

Early Girl is EARLY (no complaints here)

Heirloom starter tomato plants not only serve as trade material for other -- more desirable -- starter plants, they're also good for making friends in high places. In Angela's case -- she received a Tigerella starter in trade. It's not just any Tigerella starter either -- but the best looking and most lush of the Bird Bunch.

So -- if you're going to play this game of Heirloom Tomato Horse Tradin' -- best come prepared. Fortunately -- Mother Nature smiled upon the Bird seed starting efforts this year. We didn't lose a single starter to disease. We didn't lose a single plant to hardening off efforts that took place earlier this April. What does this mean? It means Bill and Venus Bird have drawn the proverbial "Full House" in this year's trading game.

Although it can be hard to assign a "point value" in a trading game like this one (everyone's tomato tastes are different) -- there are some general rules that are universally recognized by most heirloom seed starters. They are as follows:

There's a potato-leaf or two in here somewhere!

POTATO LEAF TOMATOES: Potato leaf starter plants normally produce some of the best and most legendary of tomato names. Brandywine, Marianna's Peace, Pruden's Purple, Stupice, Yellow Brandywine, Magnus, Galina's Yellow and MANY others. A detailed listing of potato-leafed heirloom tomatoes can be found here. If you have potato-leaf starter plants in your collection of seed-starting efforts, you've come to play.

BLACK TOMATOES: Black tomatoes are legendary for their size shape, color and TASTE. The Black Cherry heirloom is -- as I've already related -- highly prized. But it's not the only black tomato on the prized heirloom tomato list. There are others. Why are they so special? It might be due to the fact that you can trace the history of black tomatoes to the Crimean Peninsula. Others defer to the taste. Japanese Black Trifele, for example, is highly prized. Other growers have developed a passion for Black Krim tomatoes. Black tomatoes are good trading partners.

A Livingston Original? Mebbe...

LIVINGSTON TOMATOES: The father of the modern tomato, Alexander Livingston, is credited with developing close to half of the heirloom tomatoes that are grown around the world today. Although many of the "Livingston Originals" have been lost to time, a few like Paragon and Golden Queen are still offered online by a variety of sources. If you've got starter plants that harken back to the days of of the Livingston Seed Company? You're in the "horse tradin' game."

TOMATOES WITH HISTORY: Tomatoes with well-doccumented histories such as Cherokee Purple (grown by Cherokee Indian tribes) and Mortgage Lifter (wondeful story on Radiator Charlie here) are highly prized by heirloom growers. Others on this list include Dr. Wyche's Yellow (fertlized by circus animals) or Homer Fike's Yellow Oxheart (grown by, guess? Homer Fike!). If you've grown a starter plant with an interesting and well-documented history? Welcome to the horse tradin' table!

Tomato plants here, Tomato plants there. What you got?

TOMATOES YOU CAN'T FIND AT A NURSERY: Most Sacramento area nurseries do an excellent job at stocking heirloom tomato plant starters. Capitol Nursery is one place I go often. I'm sure that Green Acres Nursery offers the same kind of selection. Eisley Nursery in Auburn is another location that also stocks up. But when it comes to heirloom tomato plants, you can't possibly stock them all. There are thousands of varieties to choose from. If you're growing a rare variety that can't be found anywhere else other than your backyard? GAME ON!

So -- it's horse tradin' time peoples. What you got?

Q&A With the Gardening Goomba!

The Gardening Goober

Greetings Kids!

I rarely answer fan mail because -- well -- uh -- I rarely get fan mail. Normally -- responses are limited too "why did you do that" and "you're doing it wrong," followed by "you're doing it wrong again."

Those last two lines normally come from the wife that is Venus.

But today I have a real treat! Actual mail! Not from a fan mind you. But she did take time to write! Does that count?

At any rate, today's "fan" mail comes from Deby in the Rosemont area of Sacramento. She writes:

"Hi Bill -may I call you Bill?-

I'm a new gardner, coming up on my third year of trying to grow something edible in our Rosemont area home. Last year turned out pretty decent, and I've been reading everything I can to improve my game. Got my Viking Purple potatoes today, can't wait to get those in some dirt.

2010 Heirloom Tomato Garden

I do have a question to ask you, if you don't mind-are you INSANE?? 50 tomato plants?!? I grew ONE tomato plant last year, an Early Girl (which wasn't, but not for lack of trying) and got 50-60 pounds from one bush. My pantry is still crammed full of sauce. Are you secretly feeding your own personal militia? Or trying to single-handedly eliminate world hunger? Or do heirloom tomatoes produce only one precious fruit per plant?

I was thinking about attempting an heirloom variety next year when we expand our beds (my secret agenda is to take over the entire back yard, one raised bed at a a time), but if it leads to the sort of insanity where I have to beg people on the street to take my excess produce, I may just pass. Is this the sort of obsession I have to look forward to?

-Deby

 

My measured and tactful response to the questions she poses is this:

 

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus..

 

Wait! Wrong script!

The Wife That is Venus

Yes, Deby, you may call me Bill. My wife has many names for me. Most of them are unprintable. Not because I can't spell (although that is a problem on some days). It's that -- well -- someday a child might chance upon this blog. We've got to keep things relatively clean here -- even though we're digging in the dirt for joy and satisfaction.

 

The second answer to your question of "are you insane," is: Did you just figure that out? I'm certifiable Deby. I've turned a bedroom into an overpriced North Natomas home into a greenhouse. That nutty enough for you? I have five cats -- and also managed to adopt the ONE dog on this planet (ONE mind you) that gets the utmost satisfaction out of digging up everything she can get her muddy paws on in our raised beds.

Ultimate Digging Machine at Rest

When the "Bandinator" isn't playing dead on the bed -- she's out somewhere -- digging where she's not supposed too. Last year I was chagined to discover that our little girl not only enjoyed digging up various plants, she developed a taste for them. The only thing that we found was the hole where we planted our new "Incrediball" Hydrangea starter plant.

 

But I digress -- back to your questions -- Deby.

 

Do you know what the answer is to the question of: "What are fifty tomato plants?" The answer is: not enough. Yes -- the wife and I will usually start about fifty heirloom plants in a spare bedroom -- but don't think we can possibly plant that many. I mean -- we would if we could -- but even with our bountiful Back 40, we simply don't have that kind of room.

Eight plants per bed

Unless -- however -- I started hanging them from the eaves of my home. Or perhaps converted the attic into a new gardening area. Hmm.... You've given me some good ideas here...

 

Against the advice of my gardening mentor -- Farmer Fred Hoffman -- I usually cram about eight plants into a standard 4X8 foot bed. Fred reccommends no more than three. I go beyond that. Slightly. Is it any wonder then that I have a tangled mass of all things tomato by the end of the growing season?

 

And Deby -- this does not take into consideration the numerous "volunteers" that spring up in every corner of the yard now. One of those volunteers -- which may have been a cross between a Sun Gold (small orange cherrry tomato) and an Omar's Lebanese -- resulted in a Large Orange Cherry MUTANT that is quite tasty.

 

Why grow heirlooms? Why not? There's nothing wrong with hybrids like Early Girl, ACE and Better Boy. Each will give you a bumper crop of round, red, tasty tomatoes. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that in my opinion.

Cherry Tomato Surprise

But the hybrids also won't give you a bowl full of color like the one pictured. All of the cherry tomatoes in this bowl -- I might add -- came from numerous volunteers that sprang up in the yard last year (I don't have the heart to pull out most of them, unless they're growing under a peach tree). How did tomato seed get underneath a peach tree you ask? Good question. I'm still trying to figure that one out myself.

 

The cherry tomatoes in that bowl -- plus many others that we harvested last season -- served to be useful bribes among co-workers. In fact, I so impressed one young lady, that she now refers to me as her "future ex-husband." It's just nice to know that you have fans.

 

I am quite happy to hear that you enjoyed what appears to be tremendous success with just one plant last year -- and I'm just a tad bit jealous. Last year was a terrible year for most heirloom growers. The weather never really did cooperate. In a normal year? Venus and I will can vast quantities of Roasted Garlic and Heirloom Tomato Salsa, Picante Heirloom Tomato Sauce and quarts of whole tomatoes by the dozen.

A Full Pantry!

There's nothing quite like the satisfaction of opening up a can of whole heirloom tomatoes and heirloom tomato sauce on a cold winter night to serve in a soup, stew or PIZZA!

 

Finally Deby -- every heirloom tomato is different. You might think that a tomato is "just a tomato," until you take your first bite of a true, treasured heirloom. None have the same taste as the other. Some are sweet. Some are tart. Some have a rich and smoky taste and aroma. Others taste like candy.

 

That -- my dear Deby -- is why heirloom tomato growers are nuts for heirlooms. There is no taste in this world like taste-bud surprise that a true, vine-ripened Cherokee Purple brings. The jolt that comes from that first bite of a Kelloggs Breakfast is hard to describe, but should not be missed.

Large Orange Cherry MUTANT

Finally Deby? Growing heirloom tomatoes is different from the "plant and forget" hybrids. Some will vex you to no end. Why some produce bounty crops while others do not is a question that I still can't answer. But growing heirlooms is a true and healthy addiction. Once you've tried it, you're hooked for life. You keep going back for more of the same reward and punishment.

 

Best of luck to you in the bed-building efforts. If I were you? I'd put gardening beds in every square inch of the yard.

 

But -- remember -- I'm also insane. And I like it that way.

Just Say NO!!!!

Starter plants for the 2009 Tomato Garden? They're here? Already? Seriously? You've got to be kidding! Right?

Gardening Guys N' Gals -- follow Nancy Reagan's good advice: JUST SAY NO!

I must say I was more than intrigued when I received a rather worried email from a rather worried "Pam" in Elk Grove this past weekend. She had been doing some shopping at a nearby Box Store, when she saw THEM.

Yes -- THEM!

THEM -- as in tomato starter plants! Out on display! In Elk Grove! In FEBRUARY! Not just any starter plants either, but her favorites: EARLY GIRL.

And so Pam did what many growers are doing right now, and should not be doing. Pam bought herself some starter plants.

In February no less. And she bought them just in time for ten solid days of rain and cold, wet, yucky weather in the Sacramento Valley.

Intrigued by her email and her request from help, I decided to visit my own "Big Box" store in North Natomas -- the men's toy store -- Home Depot -- to see if what Pam had told me was really true.

Guess what? It's true!

When I walked into the garden section this weekend -- lo and behold -- there I found rack after rack of brand new tomato starter plants. There you could find Early Girls by the hundreds, Better Boys, Big Beefs, Celebrities and even cherry varieties like Yellow Pear.

And it wasn't just tomatoes! Cucumber starter plants were on display! Pepper plants! Bell peppers! Habanero hot peppers! Artichoke starter plants! Herb starter plants!

In short, there was the summer garden, on display and ripe for the taking and purchasing. And I was rather distressed to see that many customers were taking and purchasing on the day that I visited.

But -- there's just one problem.

It ain't summer folks. Not even close. It's still winter. And Mother Nature could have a wallop in store for us for the next month and a half. Then again, the skies could clear and spring sunshine could emerge. It's happened before, right? It could happen again, right? Well, yes and no.

Point is -- we just don't know.

But -- the lesson here gardening fanatics is this: Just Say NO! Don't buy that starter plant. Don't buy that BIG BEEF tomato starter plant, no matter how good it looks or how delicious that tomato in the picture looks. It's a lie. And, if you "buy now," chances are you'll be forced to "buy later" to replace the plant that died from lack of heat, or got drowned from non-stop rain.

Just because the Big Box stores have the plants out now, doesn't mean that you have to buy them. Don't worry. They're not going to run out. I guarantee you that the Early Girls, Better Boys, Big Beefs and other lip-smacking varieties are still going to be in good supply later this spring, when it really IS time for planting.

Just don't jump the gun.

From experience I know that there are two possible scenarios that could result from BUYING and then PLANTING a starter plant in the backyard when it's still this cold and wet.

SCENARIO 1: The plant just sits in the ground. It doesn't look happy. It doesn't grow. It's freezing its pretty little pitooty (do tomato plants have pitooties?) off and isn't going to do a thing for at least a month or two, until the weather warms up. At that point, it will start growing. And this will only happen if you're very lucky.

SCENARIO 2: The plant just sits in the ground. It's very unhappy. It's FREEZING. And suddenly, Mr. Freezing Tomato Plant meets Mr. Airborne Virus. The two sort of join hands, and then you're really in trouble. Mr. Airborne Virus not only adopts your tomato starter plant, but thrives when it warms up and spreads to other starter plants you have planted nearby. Finally, at some point in mid-to-late June, your entire tomato crop kicks the proverbial bucket.

Think that's funny? It's not. It happened to me once -- yes ME! Just because I write a gardening blog doesn't make me Mr. Perfect when it comes to the subject of tomato plants. Just ask the 50-60 starter plants that I managed to kill last spring when I put them outside too soon and they keeled over in one day from too much exposure.

And trust me, having witnessed this in person before, you don't want to watch an entire tomato crop meet its unfortunate end to some nasty disease that could have been avoided to start with. While it's true that Sacramento is home to some of the best growing conditions in the world when it comes to growing tomatoes, we're also cursed with every tomato pest -- airborne and soilborne -- under the sun.

So -- remember -- the lesson for today is JUST SAY NO. And "Pam" in "Elk Grove" is keeping her starter plants indoors -- on a windowsill -- until the proper planting time arrives.