The HELLO KITTY Beehive Arrives

A deal is a deal -- and Bill Bird doesn't back down on a bargain.

In this case -- the deal is located to your immediate left. Please contain yourself. I said -- STOP LAUGHING! Are you finished? Good.

I thought you indicated you were finished?

When I first set my sights on aquiring a colony of bees or beehive, I thought this investment would mean no more than a loss of $100. Boy -- I was I off on that guess. WAY OFF. Bees aren't cheap. If you want the pleasure of your very own hive in your very own backyard, well, you're going to "pay the piper." Only, in this case, we paid the "beekeeper."

When Venus and I learned of the rather eye-popping price for acquiring a hive last March, she saw her chance for a deal and jumped right at it. I could have the bees -- no matter what the price -- as long as she got to choose the color and theme of the beehive.

I figured that was a good compromise at the time, until she informed me that she wanted to paint the hive in a shade of "Hello Kitty" pink, with "Hello Kitty" stencils to boot. The first concern that came to my mind was how badly would Bill Bird get stung from a new colony of bees who are suffering from extreme embarassment. Not many queens get to live in a Hello Kitty beehive. In fact, this is probably the first one I've ever seen.

But -- a deal's a deal -- right? And so Venus set about aquiring the right shades of pink (Shy Little Piglet) for the hive cover, hot pink for the bow plus your standard black and white colors for the Hello Kitty face.

Now, as you can probably clearly tell from the photos, neither of us have an artistic bone in our body. Before you snidely remark, "Oh REALLY?" (thanks Mr. Owl), understand that painting a Hello Kitty stencil is no easy task -- especially when you're using exterior paint on a rough, wooden surface like a beehive. Venus and I aren't very good with a paintbrush to begin with, and after four or five drinks, our painting talents decline to the level of "absolutely criminal."

A friend, who recently viewed these hive photos, went on to snidely remark: "Who painted this -- your four-year old nephew?" Gee, thanks Colleen. BTW, your free beer supply at Club Raven just dried up. How do you like them apples?

The first task was to paint the entire hive (exterior of the hive only) a shade of pink. That was easy enough. The fine folks at Sacramento Beekeeping Supplies warned us that painting the inside of the hive was not a good idea, as bees don't like the inside of a hive painted. And they would probably expend energy to chew the stuff off anyway.

We didn't want them expending energy chewing off paint. We want the queen to expend energy by laying eggs, and other bees to expend energy by pollinating crops and making HONEY! Besides, we didn't argue. That's less to paint anyway.

But, the hardest part of this project came with the stencil. First -- there are no real Hello Kitty stencils on the market. There are a few -- but those are for kids and a sheet of paper -- not for adults and a wood surface. That meant we had to make our own, which again called for "artistic talent" that we sorely lack.

Still -- as you can see in this photo -- we did acquire some plastic stenciling paper from a nearby crafts store -- and using a picture printed straight off the internet -- both Venus and I began to trace a rough outline. But that's just the first start. You need a razor blade and a steady hand to cut the stencil -- and that "steady hand" part is also quite difficult after five or six beers.

For those of you now thinking -- "why not just lay off the beer?" What are you? A Communist?

But, with stencils cut (three of them), we set about on the project to paint our "Hello Kitty" face. The face of our new hive. It actually looks a lot better from a distance -- or -- if you've had five or six beers.

It also turned out to be a slow and laborious project. Each part of the Hello Kitty face required the use of three cut-out stencils. We were required to tape the first stencil to the hive -- paint -- and then wait for it to dry. Four or five hours later -- we would remove that first stencil -- put the second one on -- and paint again. That meant another wait of four to five hours before you could remove the second stencil -- apply the third -- and paint again.

And, of course, stencils aren't perfect. Neither are we -- especially after five or six drinks. Sometimes paint runs. Sometimes it chips. Other times it just won't go where you want it to go! And then, there's the issue of paintbrushes, open cans of paint, four bratty and curious cats, stir sticks and lots and lots of paper towels for "boo-boo's" or "do overs."

To put it short and sweet, this is a project that took quite a bit of time. More time than either Venus and I thought. And this is just the first part of the project. The new colony of bees will arrive next weekend. And, although they won't immediately start producing honey, at some point, they will. And, if you want honey, that means the purchase of additional boxes called "honey supers."

That means more "Shy Little Piglet" pink -- more stencils -- more paintbrushes and more "boo-boo's."

It may be time to order another keg for the kegerator.

This hive will eventually go against a back fence (our lucky neighbors don't know about that quite yet), and hopefully the bees will do what I want them to do: pollinate trees, pollinate melon crops, heck, even help pollinate tomato plants.

This weekend's delivery should be interesting indeed. I wound up running from a solitary bee that had adopted this hive a few weeks early. It seems he didn't like me putting hive slats back into the hive, so I was strafed repeatedly. And it suddenly came to me: "if I'm running in terror from one bee, what's going to happen when I've got 1,000 or so buzzing around my head?"

Next weekend should be interesting indeed. Some please notify the nearest trauma center.

The Birds and their Bees!!!

Today folks -- a "first ever" event for the blog that is Sacramento Vegetable Gardening. The husband now steps aside for the first time to welcome a "guest blogger" -- the wife and the gardening inspiration that is "Venus."


So how do you spend your last “Furlough Friday” as a state worker when your husband’s boss says he can have the day off to be with you? With the tax man and at a BEE STORE of course!!!

A bee store? Really? A place where we go to actually spend what little tax return we’ll be getting on something that’s going to sting us? You have GOT TO BE KIDDING. And who EVER heard of a bee store?

I was skeptical, as I usually am when heading off on one of Bill Bird’s “great adventures.” But, he bought me a really nice lunch that included a couple of Modelo Especiales, so at that point … I was game.

So into Midtown Sacramento we went and I realized I had driven by Sacramento Bee Keeping Supplies at least a million times as it is near my former place of employment. But I had never noticed it was a BEE STORE, in spite of the bees and honey combs painted on it.

I walked in and was amazed. I just kept looking at all of the products made with honey and other bee byproducts, candles, lotions, and all the little bee knick knacks, and wasn’t even paying attention to the whole live bee thing until Bill approached the desk and asked about ordering bees. At which point we found out we’d be at the END of the list. There are other people out there just as whacked? Really??

So she told us it would cost 100 bucks for the colony, this amount for this, that amount for that and an additional 50 something for some contraption to get the honey. To which Bill says, “Oh, I don’t care about honey, I just want them to pollinate the garden.” Bill is quite obsessed with the lack of bees in North Natomas where we live as evidenced by his letter to the editor in the Sacramento BEE!!

But given that bees are all about honey I had to chime in, “If we’re spending this much money, we might as well reap something from this whole ordeal.” So we got the contraption for the honey. The whole set up is pretty complicated but I think Bill understands it so that’s good. And we were told we have to paint the outside of the wooden contraption where our bees will hang out. Bill said I get to paint it. So now, I must go buy some PINK paint. And Bill says I can stencil a Hello Kitty onto it. That’ll be great since I know our four kitties are going to LOVE their thousand or so new friends with stingers!!!

I SO LOVE BEES NOW!!!!

Bill's Note: The wife and I purchased the basic "Beginner's Kit" from Sacramento Beekeeping Supplies -- which includes a complete one-story beehive containing the top and bottom, plus ten frames that go inside the hive -- a standard hive tool -- standard tin smoker -- a mesh hat and round veil (don't I look just stylin in this getup?) -- extra large size gloves that fit up to the elbows -- a "feeder" (yes -- you've got to feed them bees as I've learned) and the book "First Lessons in Beekeeping."

I peppered the poor woman who helped me with a number of questions because, like the beginniner I am, I had NO idea of what I was getting myself into. And she was using terms like "nucs" and "supers" and other terms that sounded like they had more use in the Klingon Language than with beekeeping.

But the book, which was an easy read, explained a lot of questions. The most eye-opening part came with the chapter that dealt with honey production. You see -- I didn't want bees for honey. I wanted them for pollination. Too bad -- because I'm going to get honey -- and a lot of it apparently.

If I do this right -- and most beginners don't mind you -- one, single hive can produce as much as 100 lbs. of honey during the normal production season. What am I going to do with 100 lbs. of honey? Not only honey -- but beeswax -- which is used for the production of candles, soaps, shampoos, you name it.

So -- whether the wife and I like it or not -- it looks like we're going into the "bee business."

We don't have the bees yet -- they will be delivered later. First -- we have to get the hive painted and situated in the right area -- and then we can expect the bees and the all important "Queen Bee" to be delivered at some point in late April or early May.

The delivery will come too late for the peach and plum trees that are already in full bloom in our backyard -- but right on time for the citrus, melon and pumpkin patches.
Stay tuned -- this is going to get rather interesting. I wonder how the neighbors will react to a beehive in the backyard? Perhaps they'll teach that pesky dog that never stops barking a thing or two. Venus and I know this much -- our four cats are in for a very big surprise.

Sacramento Beekeeping Supplies does have a website -- which you can access here. You can also email them at info@sacramentobeekeeping.com.

But -- if you're in the market for a hive -- a word to the wise: don't wait. They are one of the few Mom & Pop Sacramento stores that are absolutely THRIVING during this economic downturn. My order -- even though it was placed in early March -- put me on the "third shipment" list. And the explanation I received was that "third shipments are very rare."