Those Reliable Reds...

EDITOR'S NOTE: Bill Bird's crappier than crap digital camera is no longer functioning after swallowing a mouthful of Rogue River water during a rafting trip in Southern Oregon. If you didn't think his photos could get any worse -- you ain't seen nuthin' yet!

Hello friends! How does that garden grow? If it's anything like mine? The word is FINALLY!

Yes -- finally the heirloom tomato plants are springing to life. Finally -- they are growing by leaps and bounds. Some are actually producing fruit! Others are not! And that's LIFE with heirloom tomato plants my friend. Sometimes you get some. Other times -- you get the stick.

Why? Well -- that is certainly the $64 question. Why do some heirloom tomato plants grow and grow and grow -- yet fail to produce a single tomato? How can that possibly happen when the plants located to the immediate right and left are loaded with more green tomatoes than you can possibly count?

How indeed!

The Joys of Growing Heirloom Tomatoes! It should be a book. It certainly is an experience. Heirloom tomatoes can bring the most wonderful of rewards -- and can also usher in the most vexing of problems. Farmer Fred Hoffman writes about one such problem here. There are others.

But I've come to discover -- through experience -- that there are some rather reliable heirloom varieties that not only grow well right here in Northern California -- they're almost guaranteed to produce a boatload of tomatoes.

I call these my "Reliable Reds." They have produced for me year in and year out. They have survived diseases. They have survived infestations (Voles). Although they are not technically "disease resistant," they have shown a remarkable ability to throw off the leaf and stem blight that sometimes strikes the Bird Backyard during these hot July days.

Now -- understand -- these "Reliable Reds" aren't going to knock you flat with that eye-popping heirloom taste like you get with some varieties. They're not going to make your eyeballs roll back into your skull like a Brandywine or Kelloggs Breakfast sometimes can. They don't have that eye-catching bi-colored skin that other heirloom varieties offer.

Nope -- what you get with the Reliable Reds is this: A red, sometimes round, tomato. Not just one of them either -- but a bushel. These may not be the "best-tasting" heirloom tomatoes -- but they're not bad either. These two varieties have produced an extraordinary crop for me during the past three seasons -- so I feel somewhat safe in recommending these to your garden.

The first is DRUZBA. Although we're off to an extraordinarily late start this year -- the reliable Druzba is once again fruiting like nobody's business. It also happens to be one of my favorites because -- as an indeterminate -- it keeps right on producing round, red tomatoes until winter frost sets in. It's not all that unusual to be harvesting fresh Druzba tomatoes for a Thanksgiving feast -- long after other varieties have played out or shut down.

Druzba is a fairly recent introduction to the United States heirloom tomato market. It comes from Bulgaria where its name means "friendship." One of the leading authorities on growing heirloom tomatoes -- Dr. Carolyn Male -- calls Druzba "ideal for nearly every type of gardener.... one of the finest heirlooms available."

Of course -- it didn't hurt that she helped introduce it to American gardeners by donating seed to Southern Exposure Seed Exchange (SESE) in 1995 -- and it also comes highly reccommended in what I like to call the "bible" for heirloom tomato growers: Dr. Male's "100 Heirloom Tomatoes for the American Garden."

The second variety that is also going gangbusters in the Bird Family Heirloom Tomato Garden -- for the third straight year I might add -- is Campbell's 1327. I had read about this particular variety for years before I finally got around to trying it. I will continue to grow it for year after year for obvious reasons: you just can't possibly screw up a Campbell's 1327.

The Campbell's 1327 is an open pollenated tomato variety that was originally developed by the Research and Development Division of Campbell's Soup Company over 50 years ago. The variety sets sweet, tart red tomato fruit with ease.

Why the Campbell's Soup Company abandoned this variety for others isn't known -- but I can tell you it's not because of the taste or the output of a single plant. It is simply one of the best-tasting red tomatoes on the market -- and one plant is going to keep you in tomatoes and tomato sauce for quite some time.

The Campbell's 1327 does well in any type of salad and is also good for snacking. It should come as no surprise at all that it's also an outstanding performer in any home soup creation. It also peels easily for home-canning efforts.

So there you have it: our Reliable Reds -- so far. We continue to test other varieties every summer and I nearly added another red variety -- Cosmonaut Volkov -- to this list. But this is just the second year with this variety. Like last year -- the bush is loaded with green tomatoes. If it does well for a third straight year -- I will update and add it to the Reliable Reds list.

The Good, The Bad, The Lip-Smackers...

I'll be honest -- there are a lot of favorites that came out of Tomato 2009. I normally describe these postings as "the best" and "the worst." But I can't do that this year.

To be perfectly honest -- there are no entries for "the worst" because I really didn't have any.

Well -- on second thought -- if you count those horrid starter plants that I purchased this spring from Whole Foods . . . . Yeah -- those plants. The starter plants that grew two inches? Yeah -- those.

Other than that -- it was a barnstorming year in the Backyard of Bird. We have the saved products to prove it. Venus always wanted a pantry in the kitchen. Little did she know that she would fill up half of it with home grown produce.

We have enough to keep us and the entire neighborhood in salsa -- tomato sauce -- whole tomatoes -- etc.

Enough of that. On with the favorites already!

Before we get started -- a small point about the ratings system. I will give the names of the favorites that performed exceptionally well this summer -- the source of the seed -- and then a little bit about each variety.

For the most part? The starter plants provided by Farmer Fred Hoffman tended to do the best. This is a blanket statement so to speak. Some did exceptionally well. Others did OK. But his starter plants did better than mine for the most part -- although I did get a few winners and you'll hear about those.

Just because I like to brag.

OK then? Onward and upward to Bill & Venus' favorite tomatoes from 2009!

FAVORITE TOMATOES: By "favorite tomatoes" I mean the "most productive" and the "best tasting" from the garden. Ranked in order of "lip-smacking goodness."

1. MARIANNA'S PEACE: Hands down, this is a clear winner from the Back 40 in North Natomas. Seed Source: Totally Tomatoes. Starter plants grown by Fred Hoffman. This is my third year for growing this wonderful, potato-leaf variety. And we must have done something right this year. This was by far the tastiest, and most productive, variety to come out of the garden this summer. Marianna's Peace produced pink, saucer-sized tomatoes in the 1 and 1.5 lb. range all summer long and it's still producing ripened tomatoes in October. One bite of this time-honored treasure is a trip to a tomato lover's paradise. This is a must-have for any garden. It will get a prime spot in the garden next year.

2. ARKANSAS TRAVELER: Seed Source: Seeds of Change. Starter plants grown by Fred Hoffman. This was a new and unique introduction to the garden this year. Impulse seed packet purchase from Capital Nursery -- and a real winner in the garden this year in terms of TASTE and production. Arkansas Traveler produces a BRIGHT RED tomato -- an almost neon-red color that is brighter than any red tomato I've seen. Unlike many heirlooms -- Arkansas Traveler tomatoes are round -- red -- pleasing to the eye and resist cracking or concentric circles around the top and bottom. It's also resistant to Blossom End Rot. The taste is unique. It's not quite as good as Marianna's Peace -- but a treat just the same.

3. LEMON BOY: Seed Source: Fred Hoffman. Starter plants grown by Fred Hoffman. Lemon Boy was probably the most prolific tomato in the garden in terms of outright production. It wasn't unusual to harvest 30-t0-40 tomatoes at a time during peak production. This is Venus' favorite tomato variety for the Heirloom Tomato Martini thanks to a rich -- sweet taste and aroma. Known for producing medium sized tomatoes -- our starter plant delivered more than a few in the 1 lb. range. This was a highly desired tomato that wound up in jars of canned tomatoes and sauce mixes for salsa and other creations. This was my second or third year for growing Lemon Boy. I will grow it again.

4. COSMONAUT VOLKOV: Seed Source: Pinetree Garden Seeds. Starter plants grown by Fred Hoffman. This is another red variety that knocked our socks off in terms of early season production and incredibly rich taste. The Cosmonaut Volkov is yet another Russian introduction to the American fascination with heirloom tomatoes -- and is yet more proof that Eastern Europe has something special going on with the creation of special tomato plant hybrids. The Cosmonaut Volkov grew and produced at an exponential rate throughout the spring and summer before petering out a bit in September. Still -- I will not hesitate to grow this fantastic variety again.

5. BRANDYWINE: Seed Source: Totally Tomatoes. Starter plants grown by Fred Hoffman. I just knew it was going to be a special year for tomatoes in the garden when I watched a single vine from this one plant set eight tomatoes. I don't think I picked eight tomatoes from last year's Brandywine plant alone last year. Vines were just loaded with production and a few weighed in at just over 1 lb. While not quite as productive as the other potato-leaf variety in the garden -- Marianna's Peace -- I have no complaints. This is the most productive Brandywine tomato plant I've seen come out of the garden since 2004. That was a long time ago folks -- and I've spent the past five years trying to duplicate that 2004 success. This year? I finally did. Brandywine gets a deserved home in next year's tomato garden.

GREAT TOMATOES: It's tough to pick a top five or six plants when you've got ten to 15 that fit into that category. That was my problem this year. These varieties didn't make the Top 5 for whatever reason -- but they were darn close.

1. AZOYCHKA: Seed Source: Totally Tomatoes. Starter plants grown by Fred Hoffman. This is yet another Russian variety that delivered a knockout punch of early production -- fell off a bit during mid-season -- then rebounded with a nice harvest of late season tomatoes. Production fell off so much in late July and early August that I thought the plant had died. Azoychka looks a lot like Lemon Boy in that it's yellow in color -- but that's the only comparison. To me? Azoychka tastes like BACON! It has a wonderful, smoky taste that is perfect for one of my favorite sandwiches: Grilled Turkey Bird. Mmmmmm....BACON!

2. BEEFSTEAK: Seed Source: American Seed. Impulse purchase at a Dollar Tree for ten cents. Starter plants grown by Bill & Venus Bird. Beefsteak is a hands down winner in terms of outright production -- coming very close to hanging with Lemon Boy and Marianna's Peace in terms of plant production and size. One Beefsteak plant produced nearly 100 perfectly round, red tomatoes with no hint of Blossom End Rot or disease. However, the one drawback that puts Beefsteak into this category is: TASTE. Don't get me wrong! It's wonderful! But -- it just does not compare to the eyeball-roll-back-into-the-head moment that other heirlooms provide. However -- it gets a well-deserved home in the garden again next summer.

3. KELLOGG'S BREAKFAST: Seed Source: Gary Ibsen's Tomatofest. Starter plants grown by Fred Hoffman. Some make the argument -- and a good one at that -- that the Kellogg's Breakfast is the most outstanding heirloom tomato every hybridized in terms of taste. This year's entry was good -- no doubt -- but it just didn't have the production that the other plants delivered. Blossom End Rot was another problem that seemed to affect this tomato -- but did not affect the Brandywine planted just two feet away. This is how good a year it was in the Backyard of Bird. I have NEVER had a Kellogg's Breakfast this productive. I've never harvested the number of KB tomatoes that I harvested this year. But -- other plants simply did better. In most years? This would get a top five rating. Not this year.

4. DRUZBA: Seed Source: Totally Tomatoes. Starter plants grown by Fred Hoffman. In a word? Druzba DELIVERS. It is one of the most reliable and productive heirlooms that I've ever planted -- yet unlike some heirlooms -- you can always count on Druzba to deliver a large and tasty crop of round, red tomatoes. The plant is somewhat susceptible to blight and blossom end rot problems, and I battled both this year. But it wasn't unusual to harvest ten to 15 ripened tomatoes during the peak harvest months of July and October.

5. CAMPBELL'S 1327: Seed Source: Totally Tomatoes. Starter plants grown by Fred Hoffman and Bill & Venus Bird. Campbell's 1327 was last year's favorite out of the garden in terms of outright production and taste. Not a thing changed this year. So why isn't it in the Top 5 or closer to the top of this list? I told you that I had an outstanding year. This is how far it dropped. When everything goes right in the garden -- the old processing tomato from Campbell's Soups just cannot compare with the time-honored and time-treasured heirloom varieties. That's what happened this year. There's nothing wrong with this variety. I will plant it again next year.

GOOD TOMATOES: These varieties were good -- no doubt about it. They just could not crack the Top Ten this year.

1. OPALKA: Seed Source: Gary Ibsen's Tomatofest. Starter plants grown by Bill & Venus Bird. We didn't have room for this red tomato variety in the raised beds -- but it produced well enough in the direct clay soil "test bed." This was one of the better producers out of the test bed, although BER was problematic. I was probably to blame for the BER problems that cropped up often in the test bed -- because I failed to amend with lime.

2. BLOODY BUTCHER: Seed Source: Totally Tomatoes. Starter plants grown by Fred Hoffman. A tomato grower can always rely upon the Bloody Butcher to produce some of the earliest tomatoes, and this year was no different. The big change this year, however, was the heirlooms started to produce right about the same time. Long time growers say you're not supposed to get ripe tomatoes before May. The Bloody Butcher will make them think twice. Perfect for snacking on in the garden while you go about the main harvest.

3. DR. WYCHE'S YELLOW: Seed Source: Totally Tomatoes. Starter plants grown by Fred Hoffman. I've been wanting to try this ever since Dr. Carolyn Male highlighted this variety in her book "100 Heirloom Tomatoes for the American Garden." This is a true bible for heirloom growers -- a good starting point -- but not the be all-end all in the world of heirloom tomatoes. Blossom End Rot was a constant concern -- but the yellow-orange tomatoes that we did get were interesting to say the least. I will plant again and hope for better luck!

4. EVIL SEED: Seed Source: Unknown. Starter plants grown by Mother Nature. Evil Seed is a black tomato with fantastic taste and an even more fantastic story. Grown by a gardener who later made the rather unwise decision to leave his wife and children for another woman, I never did find out the true name of this tomato or where it came from. I thought I had lost it completely, until one popped out of the ground in an unlikely spot this year and grew like a weed. The plant receives its name courtesy of the jilted ex-wife. I seeded this tomato. I will grow it again.

5. JUBILEE: Seed Source: Lockhart Seed. Starter plants grown by Bill & Venus Bird. This barely made the list -- and only because of its incredible taste. I will try again, but the production off one plant in a raised bed was average at best. The second plant, located in the test bed, was a little more productive but Blossom End Rot was a real problem. I lost most of them.

FAVORITE CHERRY TOMATOES: Cherry tomatoes get their own category this year because we really went to town on them this year. Venus searched high and low for the cherry tomato for the highest brix content so she could enter it in the Tomato Taste Challenge sponsored by NatureSweet. She would later find out, much to her chagrin, that the nearest "challenge" was held in Chicago, IL this year. Maybe next year Venus.

1. BLACK CHERRY: Seed Source: Pinetree Garden Seeds. Starter plants grown by Fred Hoffman, Bill & Venus Bird and Mother Nature. Black Cherry is simply the most outstanding cherry tomato ever developed in terms of taste and production in my humble opinion. Once you plant it -- you'll have them for years to come. We put one plant in a raised bed. About four or five more plants came up on their own in a bed we used the previous year from cherry tomatoes that had dropped to the ground (you never get them all). This will always have a home in our garden.

2. HYBRID RED GRAPE: Seed Source: Lockhart Seed. Starter plants grown by Bill & Venus Bird. Billed as the "cherry tomato with the highest brix content ever recorded," this was a Venus impulse purchase during our first visit to Lockhart Seed in Stockton. There's no denying it was sweet -- but it was also tough to get a ripe tomato. Why? Turns out this tomato was a favorite among birds who raided the garden non-stop. Birds of all feathers would pick these by the hundreds and fly off before returning for another "snack." Excellent producer. We will plant this again.

3. JELLY BEAN GRAPE: Seed Source: Pinetree Garden Seeds. Starter plants grown by Bill & Venus Bird. This cherry was similar to Hybrid Red Grape, although the fruits were smaller. Very productive.

"MEH" TOMATOES: What does "Meh" mean? The first instance of "Meh" popped up in an episode of The Simpsons when Bart Simpson was asked for his opinion. His response? "Meh" -- along with a shrug of his shoulders. To put it short and sweet -- "meh" means "I don't care," or "I'm not really excited by this." In the words of Bart Simpson, "Don't Have a Cow, Homer."

1. CLINT EASTWOOD'S ROWDY RED: Seed Source: Gary Ibsen's Tomatofest. Stater plants grown by Fred Hoffman. I had really high hopes for this tomato. It was hybridized not all that far away, by a former UC Davis plant scientist. It started out with a few great tomatoes -- and then not much. Many of the tomatoes were small -- about two to three ounces and production was nothing to write home about. I will not plant this again.

2. GREEN ZEBRA: Seed Source: Totally Tomatoes. Starter plants grown by Bill & Venus Bird. Due to space limitations, we were not able to put a Green Zebra in the raised beds, and production suffered in the test bed. The few that came off the vine were small -- Blossom End Rot was a problem -- and I have to give this one two thumbs down this year. May not plant again.

3. REIF RED HEART: Seed Source: Gary Ibsen's Tomatofest. Starter plants grown by Bill & Venus Bird. Some heirloom afficiandos swear by heart-shaped tomatoes. I don't understand why. This was average at best and production was limited. Will not plant again.

4. PINK PING PONG: Seed Source: Gary Ibsen's Tomatofest. Starter plants grown by Bill & Venus Bird. This was another "test bed" plant that did not perform well. Will not plant again.

5. COSTALUTO GENOVESE: Seed Source: Seeds of Change. Starter plants grown by Fred Hoffman. This was a favorite from the garden two seasons ago. Despite the introduction of new seed this past spring -- and a spot in one of the raised beds -- I simply was not impressed. The tomatoes were small -- in the one ounce range. Not good for anything other than snacking. Tomatoes were too small for processing. Not sure if I will try again.

Other tomatoes to note are Zapotec Pleated (not good for processing -- but good taste), Dixie's Golden Giant (they must have been referring to a small giant) and Delicious (disease took this one early).

SEED SOURCES FOR HEIRLOOM TOMATOES:

These are just a few that I've used in past years. There are many others. Try typing the term "heirloom tomatoes" or "heirloom tomato seeds" on Google and see what springs up.

In the Sacramento area, Capital Nursery and Peaceful Valley Farm and Garden Supply have a very good selection of packaged seeds, as does the mother of all seed stores, Lockhart Seed in Stockton.

Totally Tomatoes

Pinetree Garden Seeds

Lockhart Seed (no website -- you gotta go look for yourself)

Gary Ibsen's Tomatofest

Seeds of Change

An Ode to the Beefsteak Tomato

It isn't pink. It's not yellow. It certainly isn't orange.

It doesn't rival the taste of a Brandywine. It doesn't provide the tastebud heaven that is the Black Cherry.

It's not warped like an heirloom. It doesn't come in different shapes and sizes like the Cosmonaut Volkov, Marianna's Peace or Druzba. You won't find it growing at a crazy 90 degree angle like a Zapotec Pleated

It just is. It's round. It's red. It doesn't crack. It's a tomato's tomato. It is your standard, non-fancy, hard-working, Beefsteak tomato. What type of Beefsteak you ask?

Nothing. Just Beefsteak.

Venus and I have the Beefsteak growing in the far right-hand corner of an 8X8 foot raised bed that is on the opposite side of the yard containing our six main 4X8 planter beds. We thought long and hard about what should go in this location, before the answer hit us like a bolt from the blue: "Why not another planter bed?" Boom! Done!

I'll be honest, there's nothing fancy about this tomato. It has a wonderful flavor to it -- but what vine-ripened tomato isn't wonderful tasting? It grows perfectly smooth round, red tomatoes. So -- how is this any different from a hybrid like Better Boy?

It's somewhat different in that this is an open-pollinated Beefsteak tomato. Unlike hybrids, which will fruit one main crop and then just sort of sit there and look pretty for another month or two, the Beefsteak keeps on truckin.' And, unlike a hybrid, this Beefsteak can be seeded and saved for next year's crop.

As you can tell -- this plant is simply loaded with bear. New fruit -- meanwhile -- continues to form at the bottom -- middle and top of this continiously growing plant. It's a simple tomato really. No cracks. No funny lines. No whoppers. No small fries.

It's just your standard tomato.

What's special about the Beefsteak then? Why write such prose? To some tomato afficiandos -- the world starts and ends with the Beefsteak tomato. My father-in-law is one such person. Oh sure -- he enjoys the colors that the tomato garden produces. But he dreams about tomato sandwiches and burgers topped with round, red, vine-ripened slices of the standard Beefsteak tomato. It's what he had as a boy. It's what he grew on "the ranch" in San Jose for years.

This is for you Gale Stromberg.

What else is amazing about this tomato? The cost. Quite simply, it cost us next to nothing to grow -- other than our time -- water and efforts. The seeds for this wonderful variety were discovered two years ago in a Dollar Store not all that far away from our North Natomas home.

It was there that Venus and I stumbled upon a garden rack of seeds -- ten packets for one dollar. We bought all we could -- including the packet of seeds contained the Beefsteak Tomato. That one dime will equal into about fifty-to-sixty pounds of production by the time this growing season is over.

Call it one of our "better" investments.

Heirloom Eruption

I knew this moment was coming. I knew it. Every morning and every evening as I surveyed the four heirloom tomato beds, I knew those plants were going to literally explode with so much production that Venus and I couldn't possibly handle the entire load.

Yeah, it exploded alright.

The signs came early this year. You could see it. Heirloom fruit forming on tomato plants barely a foot high? Plants literally jumping out of the garden beds? Surprise formations of tomatoes? Surprise plants? Volunteer plants springing up out of hard clay hardpan, loaded with tomatoes?

The picture to your left is the result. And that's not all. There were two more harvests just like the one to your left this past weekend. It was time. The tomatoes had to come off NOW. And it was more -- far far more -- than I ever expected.

I hope and pray that every heirloom grower gets to experience the type of year that Venus and I are enjoying now. I'll be honest. It's been a long wait for us. Heirloom tomato plants are tricky creatures indeed. They'll give and give and give one year -- then break your heart into tiny pieces the next. What grows like a weed one year -- suddenly won't grow at all the following year.

Yeah, heirlooms are like that.

But it's well worth it when you have harvests like the one to your right. I can't even begin to tell you how many pounds of ripe heirloom tomatoes we harvested last weekend. I can tell you that most of the production came from just 16 of our 38 plants that are located in two out of the four beds currently planted with tomatoes. They were the first two beds that Venus and I planted in early April. And they nearly died of shock that first week because Bill Bird got a little, umm, too excited with fertilization (yes, you can overdo it).

While harvesting an heirloom tomato plant like Druzba, Cosmonaut Volkov, Lemon Boy and so many others can be an exhiliarating experience, it's also frustrating and tiring. Why? Because you can only see what is on the outside of the tomato plant in question. It's only when you pick those ripened outside tomatoes, do you get a glance of the inside.

What a glance. If we picked one tomato, we spotted two more. Not a problem. But -- after picking those next two -- you came to discover that they were hiding four more ripened tomatoes. And when you picked those four? More ripened tomatoes.

Get the idea? It's work! And with every ripened tomato harvested comes this simple question:

"What am I going to do with all of these?"

Of course, you want to document the "special tomatoes." That one-pound Brandywine to your left? Check! Never grown anything that size before. What about that odd-shaped Zapotec Pleated bent at a crazy 90-degree angle? Check! And that Campbell's 1327 which appears to have some sort of pencil-like creature growing out of the side?

Venus liked that one. Suffice to say, I'll say no more on this subject.

The wife and I started canning on a large scale effort last year when the garden produced a bumper crop of late fall tomatoes. I imagine that this year's plantings will probably produce a bumper crop as well, if this July harvest is any indication. But we were well prepared this time. We even went so far as to purchase a 16-quart pot from Bed, Bath and Beyond for our upcoming canning efforts.

The canning projects in question: Our famous and always in demand "Roasted Garlic and Heirloom Tomato Salsa" and whole tomatoes for winter cooking projects. There is nothing quite like the satisfaction of popping open a jar of your own heirloom tomatoes during the DEAD of winter -- and having that freshly-harvested heirloom tomato smell smack you right in the nostrils.

That's exactly what you get with home canning efforts. From pickles to tomatoes -- there's just something special about opening a jar of something that you and the wife grew from seed the previous gardening season. I suppose you could call it a strange sort of satisfaction, but there's also something more.

I know that my mother -- at one time -- used to can garden produce and fruit from backyard gardens and fruit trees. She had all but abandoned the practice by the time I grew into childhood. A single mother of four children had no time for such activities. So -- while I never witnessed Mom canning so much as a pea -- I do have the memory of a canning jar filled with peaches sitting on a garage shelf for several years.

That jar -- like many childhood memories -- would eventually get tossed. But it was my brother Andy who confirmed that mother -- at one time -- was a champion canner. But -- times changed in the sixties. Home-canning was on the outs. Why can something you can already buy pre-packaged or canned at your neighborhood grocery store? Why put up with the hassle?

There are times -- and I'm sure I'm not alone in this feeling -- when I wish that mother could see what Venus and I are doing. I wish she could see the pots of boiling tomatoes on the stove. I wish she could see the time-saving routines and working together spirit that the wife and I have cultivated. Would she approve of this? I'm not sure. She might -- but then again -- she's not here.

I know -- for a fact -- that mom would enjoy the end product. Mom was a sucker for good salsa -- and our salsa -- while we haven't entered it in any contests -- always gets rave reviews.

A champion harvest results in champion salsa and other canned goodies. That's 15-pints of salsa in that photo to your left. Not only does it contain home grown heirloom tomatoes -- but home-grown peppers -- home grown onions -- home grown garlic and home-grown spices. Nearly everything in those pint jars -- with the exception of the salt and lemon juice -- came straight out of the backyard.

The salsa and quarts of canned tomatoes represents the first major canning project involving tomatoes this year. I say the "first" because other plants holding different varieties of heirlooms are now just beginning to turn. The wife and I will be back on the job soon -- guaranteed.

Heirloom Tomato Overload!

WARNING! Blurry pictures and bumpy roads ahead!

I see that ye olde piece o' crud digital camera still hasn't totally recovered from the sugar water bath it received several weeks ago. Either that, or the picture taker imbibed in just a little too much Pabst Blue Ribbon from the GarageMahal kegerator.

You could make both arguments. They're valid. I'll be honest. PBR is the bomb. But, I digress.

There comes a time in everyone's tomato garden, where the plants that you have lovingly tended for months on end finally start to give it up. To put it short and sweet, you are literally "snowed under" and "snowed in" with vine-ripened tomatoes.

My friends, that time has now arrived. And, to make matters even worse, only two out of the four tomato beds are producing ripened fruit. What happens when the other two start giving it up? Hold a garage sale?

I knew this time was coming. For weeks I've watched as this haul to your left slowly ripened on the vine. And I became quite alarmed when I suddenly realized that far too many were going to come ripe at once. Venus and I love tomatoes. We can eat them all day and all night. But two people can only consume so much.

When the garden gives you fifty tomatoes in one day, my friends, that spells trouble.

We were supposed to spend this past weekend gathering tomatoes for a salsa canning project. But the pickling project mentioned in the previous post -- 21 quarts of lip-smacking dill pickles -- literally took up our free weekend time. The tomatoes would have to wait for another day.

But when I noticed last night that many of them could not wait -- they simply had to come off the vine NOW or I was going to lose them -- I took action.

Keep in mind -- that most of the tomatoes pictured above came off just two plants: the Druzba and the Cosmonaut Volkov. There's nothing wrong with that whatsoever. Eastern Europe really knows how to speak tomato. Those varieties that have been imported with the fall of the Soviet Union are just out of sight!

The biggest catch of this haul however, is 100% home-grown American. That's a 2 lb. Campbell's 1327 sitting on top of that one-quart canning jar. That, by far, is the largest Campbell's 1327 I have ever harvested. And my Campbell's plant this year, like so many others, is just weighted down with more tomatoes than you can shake a stick at.

Why Coporate Campbell's dumped this one I'll never know. It's not like they replaced it with anything better or anything more productive. Perhaps the powers that be in the coporate board room should be taught the appropriate lesson. Just because it's old, doesn't mean that it's not any good.

The tomatoes that came off the vine last night represented an "emergency" harvest. I only chose those tomatoes that were simply not going to last another day, let alone another hour on the vine. Many of them split when I picked them -- they were that ripe. But, I left many more on the vine, hoping (praying) that they will last until the weekend, and a full-scale tomato sauce and salsa canning project.

So, what does one do with a basket full of tomatoes that are so ripe that they're starting to split? Easy. You either eat them on the spot, OR, call on the services of your handy-dandy food processor (if you don't have a food processor, a blender works just as well. If you don't have a blender -- don't grow tomatoes).

After coring and cutting each tomato into the appropriate size and shape -- into the food processor they went, and then a large one gallon pot for cooking purposes. While I didn't exactly measure it out completely, once I had churned up enough, it filled up almost the entire pot. Not to worry. Tomatoes lose a lot of the water content when you cook them down into a fine sauce, but none of the lip smacking taste.

Last night's emergency dinner? Chicken spaghetti. Today's lunch? The same thing! Tonight's dinner? Care to guess? One can never have too much chicken spaghetti.

At least, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

This is just the first of many harvests yet to come this summer. I'm not sure what Venus and I are doing in the backyard this year, but everything is coming up roses. These heirloom plants, and many more like them, will continue to produce crop after crop all summer long.

Two Chickens, One Barbeque

I know what you're thinking, and forget about it, cause we're not going there. I thought the title of this post might catch your eye, and peak your curiosity. For those of you who have NO CLUE of what I'm talking about, consider yourself lucky.

Ladies and Gentlepeople -- I dearly hope that you're 4th of July was as fun and as successful as ours. We are very fortunate to live at the end of a cul-de-sac in North Natomas, and equally blessed to have the greatest neighbors anyone could ever ask for.

I belive that Rodney King would dearly love this neighborhood, because we all really do "just get along."

Beer Can Chicken

That photo to your immediate left? It represents part of the main course that we served to about 20 friends and neighbors last night. It is commonly referred to as "beer can chicken" and is also known as "beer butt chicken." I prefer "beer can chicken" myself. It's just a tad more classy in my opinion.

These chickens have been lovingly coated with a mixture of spices and herbs, some of which came directly from the backyard. The empty beer cans are filled with a mixture of red and white wines (whatever you have is good) and the cans also contain fresh herbs harvest from the backyard, including lemon thyme, parsley, basil and dill weed just to name a few. We stuff both cans with as many fresh herbs that will fit.

The cans are then inserted into the cavity of both whole chickens, which had been marinating in this special spice mixture for 24 hours. I've put both recipes below for your convenience. Feel free to experiment, because this is one delicious recipe.

Beer Can Chicken After Roasting

Both chickens only took about 70-80 minutes to thoroughly cook -- and they come out as tender as a rotissiere chicken from any supermarket (only it's that much better). The cook (me in this case) has to monitor the cooking process very carefully, however. Although the grill is set on low, the drippings from both birds cause quite the flame-up. So, if you're going to try this at home kids, please have a handy-dandy water bottle nearby.

Otherwise, beer can chicken will come out looking a lot like beer burnt chicken.

The wine and herbs play a huge role in the cooking process. The wine eventually will start to boil, and the steam rising from the can of wine and fresh herbs will help cook the chicken from the inside out, aided by the flame from the grill.

Potatoes from the Bird Back 40

Our 4th of July feast also featured other "goodies from the garden," such as these "All Blue" and "Cranberry Red" potatoes that Venus and I harvested just a few days earlier from one of the raised beds. Venus planted exactly one pound of potatoes last March in one of the raised beds. That one pound investment netted about 75 lbs. of potatoes.

Although I thought the wife was making far too much potato salad for the 4th, my fears were for naught. Venus made two types of potato salad with the freshly harvest potatoes: spicy and volcanic spicy. Both were a huge hit. There are some leftovers on the day after the 4th of July, but not nearly as much as I imagined. The wife's "Red, White & Blue" potato salad was clearly a hit.

Heirloom Tomatoes-Bird Back 40

We're both very fortunate, Venus and I, that the garden is now beginning to produce in large numbers. These heirloom tomatoes represent about one-quarter of what is now ripe and ready to harvest on the vine. What you're looking at is a mixture of Lemon Boy (yellow), Azoychka (yellow), Druzba (Red), Campbell's 1327 (red) and Bloody Butcher (red) tomatoes. The cucumber garden, meanwhile, provided four ready-to-harvest, Diva and Marketmore cucumbers.

The resulting salad is one of my favorites. I proceeded to chop and mix everything together, drown it in red wine vinegar, coat it with salt and pepper and then add a dusting of dried oregano flakes. After tossing everything together to mix all spices and vinegar together, I added a second dusting on the top for good measure.

I found out that many of our guests last night are big fans of yellow tomatoes. And there's no denying the taste of an Azoychka or Lemon Boy tomato. I personally believe the orange colored Kelloggs Breakfast tomatoes are some of the best and zestiest I've ever tasted, but the fans of Brandywine will challenge me on that.

But the best part of 4th of July isn't the food. It's a great meal, yes, but the real show comes later. 4th of July, like many holidays, are for children. Although Venus and I are not fortunate enough to have our own yet, we do have a niece and nephew who we host anytime we can get them. Add those kids to a neighborhood full of children, and you have an outdoor holiday filled with shrieks and excitement.

This is when memories are made. And as I watched our niece and nephew run in circles last night, multiple sparklers in hand, I knew that Venus and I had both created a memory that the kids will remember for a lifetime. In time, they will be fortunate enough to create memories for other children.

But let's not rush things. 4th of July is for children. Spice rub recipes and directions are below. Feel free to change or add spices. Any mixture comes out great!

BEER CAN CHICKEN SPICE RUB #1

1 tablespoon salt

1 tablespoon garlic salt

1 tablespoon pepper

1 tablespoon paprika

1 tablespoon dried rosemary

Place all spices in a small bowl and mix together

BEER CAN CHICKEN SPICE RUB #2

4 teaspoons salt

2 teaspoons garlic salt

3 teaspoons paprika

3 teaspoons pepper

2 teaspoons white pepper

1 teaspoon cayenne pepper

2 teaspoons dried thyme (lemon thyme works just as well)

Place all spices in a bowl and mix well

DIRECTIONS:

Remove giblets from the cavity of a whole chicken, rinse well, inside and out, and dry with a paper towel (or two).

Place chicken on a large cutting board (this gets kinda messy) and use a basting brush to coat entire chicken with a standard cooking oil. Press spice rub on the top and sides and bottom of chicken. You should have just enough, and I can't emphasis the word "press" enough. Coating the oiled chicken isn't good enough. You need to press that spice rub on, and yes, this will result in hands covered with oil and spices. I told you it was messy.

You can allow chickens to sit in the refrigerator for 24 hours, or cook immediately. Fill a standard beer can (note: drink beer first), about half to three-quarters full with any red or white wine you have handy. If you want to put fresh herbs in the wine-filled beer cans, whatever you have available will work just fine. But it's not required.

Hold the back of the chicken in the palm of one hand. Turn upright (like the chicken is standing on two legs), and insert beer can into the cavity of the chicken. Place can and chicken on pre-heated grill carefully. The can and chicken legs will help the chicken stay upright. Adjust if necessary.

Cook on low to semi-low heat for 70-80 minutes and keep a water bottle handy for barbeque flareups, because it WILL flare.

Use tongs to remove chicken from can after cooking. Let sit for 5 minutes before carving.

ENJOY!!!

The Radish that SWALLOWED Natomas!

I thought this second Sunday post was going to be about tomatoes. Little did I know.

I was going to brag you know -- about pulling FOUR ripe tomatoes out of ye olde tomato garden, including the likes of a Clint Eastwood's Rowdy Red (it was begging to be picked), a Druzba and two more Bloody Butchers.

But -- as it turns out -- a common red radish stole the show. Here are the tomatoes to your left. No, we did not run out to the store and buy them (as some have alleged). Those are vine-ripened, heirloom tomatoes. Each and every one. I have never in my life witnessed heirlooms ripen before any other variety, including cherry tomatoes, but this is one heck of a strange year.

Not that I'm complaining. I'll take vine-ripened or tree-ripened anything, any day of the week. But, as good as the tomatoes will be for dinner tonight -- the star of the show isn't tomatoes.

It's the radish that swallowed Natomas.

Venus and I were out harvesting greens for dinner, plus radishes and tomatoes, when she discovered a whopper growing near the back of the garden. This was totally unexpected. This radish has been in the ground for the exact same time as the other, normal sized radishes. It's not woody. It's not old. It's just a baseball sized radish.

Quite frankly, I've never seen a radish quite this big before. Don't get me wrong. We've pulled some whoppers from the garden before. But a radish the size of a baseball? Planted at the exact same time as the normal sized radishes?

That's a first, for both of us.

The garden will contribute quite a bit to tonight's dinner. The fresh greens, tomatoes and radishes will make one whopper of a salad. The potatoes we pulled out of the potato bed will be tossed with oil and other seasonings -- making for a nice potato dish.

The London Broil steak that would normally be the star of tonight's barbeque? Eh -- I can take it or leave it.

I have the radish that swallowed Natomas.

ANNOUNCING: The 2009 Bird Tomato Garden!!!

I feel like I've been run over by a Mack Truck.

Twice.

Yet, strangely, I feel satisfied. This is how I normally feel after a weekend of intense gardening therapy in the Back 40 backyard of Bill & Venus Bird. And, yes, it is therapy. I enjoy it. No matter how much by back hurts nor how much the shoulders peel from sunburn on sunburn, there is a strange and perverse satisfaction to planting a tomato garden in the backyard.

This is one whopper of a garden. We outdid ourselves again. There are 37 tomato plants that found homes in our backyard this season. That's ten more than last year. That's thirty more than six years ago, when the wife and I both discovered a shared love for all things heirloom tomatoes.

Not only is the garden in -- it's PRODUCING. Yes -- you read it correctly. The 16 plants that Venus and I stuck in the ground four weeks ago, with the exception of just one, are PRODUCING tomatoes at a rapid rate.

This is a first for me. It's a first for Venus as well. I've never seen heirloom plants produce quite this early. In fact, as a rule, most of them generally don't start producing small fruits until June or even July. We enjoy late harvests in August and September, but at our current rate, we'll be harvesting buckets of heirloom tomatoes in June. Who knows -- we might even get something at the end of May.

The picture to your right is a pretty good indication of what I discovered last weekend when I was staking up 16 tomato plants that had been blown flat by a weekend storm of rain and wind. That, my friends, is the Azoychka tomato plant. And those are three to four Azoychka tomatoes -- good sized tomatoes at that.

I'm still not quite ready to install my PVC tomato cages just yet -- and they take time to put up. I needed a quick fix. So -- off to Home Depot I went this past weekend for some bamboo stakes and garden twine. Both items are a gardener's best friend. Upon pulling up the tomato plants that had fallen to the ground, I discovered a treasure trove of production that, quite frankly, surprised me.

Each plant had not only flowered, but many of those flowers had resulted in fruit. Most of the plants had no more than three or four tomatoes, but in some cases there were more. The Druzba -- for example -- has thrown out ten tomatoes. And the Black Cherry plant you see to your left? That's just one of several clusters of cherry tomatoes that have developed so far.

What did I do differently this year to get such early production? I'm not really sure. Could it be that I recharged each raised planter bed with three bags of steer manure compost and other pelleted fertilzers? Possibly. Could it be the Omega 666 and Maxicrop liquid organic fertilizers? I suppose? Is the new hive of bees going to work on the tomato flowers? I suppose anything is possible.

At any rate -- we're off to a great start this year. And we're just getting started. It's barely mid-May. We've got a good five or six months to go! And now, without fail, here's a list of what we're growing in the Bird backyard this season and where the plants came from.

Almost all were started from seed. Some of the plants were grown by Farmer Fred Hoffman. Some were grown by Bill and Venus Bird. Still others were grown by Nels Christenson.

1. Arkansas Traveler (Farmer Fred)
2. Azoychka (Farmer Fred)
3. Beefsteak (Bill & Venus)
4. Black Cherry (Farmer Fred)
5. Black Krim (Farmer Fred)
6. Bloody Butcher (Farmer Fred)
7. Brandywine (2) Farmer Fred & Bill & Venus)
8. Campbell’s 1327 (Farmer Fred)
9. Clint Eastwood’s Rowdy Red (Farmer Fred)
10. Cosmonaut Volkov (Farmer Fred)
11. Costoluto Genovese (Farmer Fred)
12. Dixie’s Golden Giant (Farmer Fred)
13. Dr. Wyche’s Yellow (Farmer Fred)
14. Druzba (Farmer Fred)
15. Giant Belgium (Farmer Fred)
16. Green Zebra (Bill & Venus)
17. Japanese Black Trefele (Nursery purchase)
18. Jelly Bean (Farmer Fred)
19. Jubilee (Bill & Venus)
20. Kelloggs Breakfast (Farmer Fred)
21. Lemon Boy (Farmer Fred)
22. Marianna’s Peace (Farmer Fred & Bill & Venus)
23. Peppermint Quitos Strain (Bill & Venus)
24. Pineapple Beefsteak (Nursery Purchase)
25. Pink Ping Pong (Bill & Venus)
26. Red Reif Heart (Bill & Venus)
27. Santa Sweet (Bill & Venus)
28. Sun Gold Cherry (Volunteer)
29. Winsall (Nels Christenson)
30. Zapotec Pleated (Bill &Venus)

Before I sign off -- I want to add one other note. The photos above represent tomatoes in raised beds that were planted exactly one month ago. Not all of the garden looks this nice. Not all of the plants are THAT tall, THAT lush, or look THAT good.

Here's a good example of one bed, to your left, that we planted this past weekend. What will this bed look like in another month? Good question. As you can tell by the photo to your left, these tomato plants were NOT planted into a raised bed. Nope -- these plants went directly into cruddy, crappy, North Natomas clay soil.

Keep in mind that I amended this soil with LOTS of compost (four bags) and LOTS of steer manure compost (ten bags). But, even with the good stuff, it's still crappy, cruddy, Natomas clay sludge soil. Who knows what these plants will look like in another month? Will they survive? Will they thrive? The answers will be provided in time.

In short -- this is a "test" bed. It's an experiment to utlize every section of our backyard for growing purposes. If this works, like I hope it will work, we will amend other sections of the yard in future years to expand our tiny, but always growing, garden.

Stay tuned. The 2009 fresh-off-the-vine tomato season is now underway.