SURPRISE, SURPRISE, SURPRISE!!!

Yes -- indeed -- it's a Gomer Pyle moment in the Backyard of Bird. Or -- I suppose you could also say -- "Just when you least expect it, *IT* happens."

*IT* is happening right now in the Bird Back 40 -- right underneath our very noses -- and to be honest boys and girls: I'm not really sure what to make of it nor what I should do next.

Ideas anyone? Buehler? Please leave them below in the circular file.

I had intended to prepare a special post this weekend -- with some special news indeed: The Hello Kitty Hive was back in action. Although Venus and I had come to a decision earlier this spring to not purchase another colony of bees -- a good gardening friend by the name of Garry Erck had another idea.

Garry -- an experienced beekeeper himself -- had taken an interest in our Hello Kitty Hive and the many challenges we faced last season -- our first as beekeepers. He exulted at the good news that came from the installation of a new queen. He communicated his sorrow when our hive "flew the coop" (Colony Collapse Disorder) last October.

Garry's plan this year was to capture at least five wild colonies -- also called swarms -- which are apparently in big numbers where he lives in the El Dorado County foothills. I say "big numbers" because Garry became so proficient at capturing swarms this spring and summer that he's wound up with nine colonies -- about four more than he really wanted.

Garry -- knowing of our misfortune -- had promised as early as April that he would try to secure a new colony for us. As time passed -- and I watched him blog about capture after capture -- I knew that at some point Garry would come calling in the direction of the Natomas Gardening Birds.

Sure enough -- the good news came in the form of an email about three weeks ago. "How would you like a new colony," Garry asked. Although Venus and I had made a decision to sit the summer out -- we also missed our bees very much. Not a weekend went by without one of us in front of the hive -- lamenting our loss -- or thinking about the colony we had tended the summer before.

So -- when the chance to get another colony landed on our front doorstep? We jumped at it!

That's right -- a new life for the Hello Kitty Hive! A new colony of bees! Would we have better luck this time? We were both certainly willing to give it a try! After all -- we do have that all important first year of experience now. So why not try, try again?

But -- Mother Nature it seems -- had other plans.

Venus and I started preparing the Hello Kitty Hive for the new colony on Tuesday night. We pulled the weeds around it -- wiped the outside down a bit with a damp cloth and also opened up the hive to make sure that no spiders had taken up residence inside (Black Widow spiders love bee hives -- FYI).

While we had the top open -- we both thought it prudent to remove yet one more frame of delicious -- Hello Kitty Hive -- honey. After all -- the previous colony had left us with ten packed frames? Why not take one or two and enjoy nature's bounty? The new colony can have the other eight frames we reasoned. Surely -- they wouldn't miss two?

Apparently not.

Proud readers: This is the sight that greeted us when Venus and I arrived home after work on Wednesday evening. That's right. Your eyes are not deceiving you. That is the Hello Kitty Hive. And yes -- it's covered with BEES.

Did Garry arrive early and surprise us with our new colony perhaps?

Uh -- no...

As I indicated earlier -- Mother Nature had "other plans." Those plans include a wild swarm of bees that discovered our hive -- discovered the open top -- discovered the eight remaining frames of honey and moved right on in and made themselves comfortable inside their brand new -- Hello Kitty Hive.

"No," we both thought. "This can't be." I reasoned that the bees all over the sides and in the frames of the hive must -- in fact -- be "robber bees." I had heard about them. Robber bees are bees from a strong hive -- that will sometimes attack a weak hive -- to get at the honey.

That must be it I reasoned: Robber Bees...

But as I took a closer look at the hive -- I noticed the clusters of honeybees on either side of the hive. That isn't normal behavior for "robber bees." No -- they go right on inside and help themselves to the honey on the frames. However -- it is normal behavior for bees to "cluster" around a new queen. It is the "bee way" of protecting the new leader from attack.

A new queen had discovered the Hello Kitty Hive. At least -- I think it's a new queen. To be brutally honest -- I'm not quite sure myself. But I do know that robber bees will leave and return to their own hives when the sun goes down. They don't stick around at night.

But these bees did. So did the clusters. As of this morning? They were swarming wildly above the open hive. You can actually see a few of them if you look closely enough at the photos.

"No," I thought -- still not believing my eyes. "This just can't be right," I reasoned. After all -- nary a bee had shown interest in the hive -- or the honey inside -- since the last colony left in October. This isn't due to a lack of bees in the Bird Back 40. We get swarms of them from other colonies that have discovered the pollinators in the vast backyard. Honeybees -- Mason Bees -- Carpenter Bees -- you name it and we have them.

So -- why now? At this very moment in time? Three days before Garry Erck was going to gift me with a new colony? Bees suddenly show up? A new queen? An actual wild swarm? I needed help. And when Bill Bird needs help -- he turns to his unfortunate mentor: Farmer Fred Hoffman.

Surely -- Fred would have an answer. Surely -- the guru of Northern California gardening could figure this one out for me. Right? Like so many times in the past?

Not this time. His response? "I only know who to call to get rid of swarms. 451-BEES."

Not that I want to get rid of a swarm mind you. I'd just like to really know what I have here. It appears that I will wait until Saturday -- when the more experienced beekeeper eye of Mr. Erck pays me a visit to tell me exactly what I have.

But as for now -- I give you -- the Hello Kitty Hive 2010 Edition.

The North Natomas Tomato Farm

I bet you didn't know there was a "Tomato Farm" in the North Natomas area did you?

Neither did I. And I live in North Natomas!

Not only is there a Tomato Farm in North Natomas -- as it turns out -- it's in my backyard. As Gomer Pyle once told a non-amused Sergeant Carter, "Surprise, Surprise, Surprise."

I knew these tomato plant starters were coming. But I had no idea they were coming so soon. Coming they are -- as in tomorrow -- just in time for the weekend.

The plants come courtesy of this gentleman to your immediate left. That is Fred Hoffman -- aka -- Farmer Fred Hoffman of KFBK/KSTE radio fame. He and I both encountered enormous success in starting seeds this winter, and those planting efforts have resulted in some rather enormous monsters. The table that Fred is sitting in front of contains the entire stock of Bill & Venus Bird's North Natomas Tomato Farm -- 100 starter plants -- or as Fred calls it -- 44 square feet of "Heirloom Heaven."

Not only that -- but this is just the "first delivery." Yes -- more is to come. The pictures you see here do not contain the sixty odd tomato and pepper plant starters I have growing at home in a spare bedroom, nor does it contain the "other plants" in Fred's greenhouse. In other words -- I've been told to expect a second delivery during the third week in April.

Ain't life grand? The plants will arrive right about the same time as my bees -- but that's another story for another time.

Fred started these plants from seed about two weeks before I started mine. And you can plainly see the obvious advantage of having a greenhouse nearby. My starter plants look pretty good. But they look nothing like the monsters that are about to invade my backyard.

So -- the real question is this: What am I going to do with 100 starter plants? Plant them all? Hah! The backyard is big -- yes -- but not big enough. I posted this little problem on my Facebook Page yesterday for all to see (and laugh at), when a reporter and fellow heirloom tomato afficianado by the name of Hank Shaw picked up on it and ran the following story in today's edition of the Capitol Morning Report:

"It's time again for Bill Bird, spokesman for Sen. Sam Aanestad, to offer scores of tomato seedlings to members of the Capitol community. Some may remember the Great Seedling Massacre of a year ago, in which 150 tomato seedlings that Bird had grown mysteriously perished before the planned giveaway could happen. This time Bird has a backup. He says he struck a deal with Fred Hoffman, host of KFBK radio's garden show, to house a "few" tomato seedlings in his greenhouse. Hoffman just called Bird to tell him that he's delivering 120 seedlings this weekend, which will be combined with the 60 plants that Bird has already started in his home. Needless to say, with nearly 200 such houseguests, Bird is eager, maybe even desperate, to find takers. So, if anyone needs tomato seedlings, contact Bird to pick them up at his house in North Natomas. What varieties you ask? "Let's just say there's a lot," Bird says. The range from Brandywine to Black Krim to Pink Ping Pong to Clint Eastwood's Rowdy Red (seriously). Want to see what 120 tomato seedlings looks like? Well Hoffman has posted up a video of his miniature jungle on YouTube here. Let's hope they don't whither by Sunday....Contact Bird at billbird@gmail.com.

Gee, thanks Hank -- especially about that reminder of how I singlehandedly managed to butcher (massacre is also a good word) last year's entire heirloom tomato crop after MONTHS of careful growing efforts inside. It's not like that memory is going to fade anytime soon, but thanks for the reminder pal.

I should also mention that Hank is the proud author of the wildly popular and James Beard Award nominated blog "Hunter Angler Gardener Cook." It also happens to have about twenty times the readership of my blog.

Not that I'm jealous or anything. Nooo.....

As luck would have it, the delivery of this "farm" comes on the eve of what may be the last blast of cold weather in the Sacramento area. The long range forecast looks ominous -- five or six days of rain with lows into the mid forties. I've posted before about the effects of cold weather on young tomato plants, so I'm just a tad nervous. Nothing will get planted -- yet -- but will rather go indoors. I'd rather be safe than sorry.

There's nothing quite like watching a crop go under from blight in June.

Venus and I will perhaps keep anywhere from 15-20 of these for our garden and the rest will be given away to family, friends, associates, or may just find itself mysteriously planted in the front yard of an unsuspecting neighbor.

I can just hear my neighbors now: "Hey! Where did that dang tomato plant come from?" Surprise, Surprise, Surprise...

As much as I like to complain, I must admit, this is a rather fun and exciting problem to have. Get ready growers: Heirloom tomato season is just around the corner.

Don't forget -- check out Fred Hoffman's "monster" tomato plant video here.