The Blog Days of Summer

I'm still trying to get last night's Giants meldown to the Colorado Rockies out of my head.

But that famous call from Duane Kuiper -- "this isn't good folks" -- keeps circling around my brain.

As bad as Giants pitcher Merkin Valdez must have felt last night after giving up that awful Grand Slam to Ryan Spillborghs in the bottom of the 14th inning -- Giants fans feel even worse. It's like a sucker punch to the gut. This one will be hard to recover from.

Damn Giants.

This is indeed the famous "Dog Days of Summer" for Major League Baseball teams. It's when the Contenders separate themselves from the Pretenders. It's when the strong teams make a push. It's when the teams that have teased you all season long sort of fall by the wayside.

It's also a time when the summer garden gives that last big push of produce heading into fall. There's no doubt about it. The days are changing. It's getting dark a little earlier each night. Some of those August mornings have been -- dare I say it? A bit "chilly?"

Change is on the way -- whether you like it or not.

This is also the "Dog Days of Summer" for the backyard garden. Or -- in this particular case -- just dogs.

Case in point -- the bowl full of vine-ripened tomatoes to your immediate left. These look a little like Yellow Pear tomatoes -- except they're not yellow. They're red. They are also about three to four times the size of your standard Yellow Pear, which is a much-loved, cherry heirloom from decades past.

What is this then? To be short, sweet and honest -- I really have no idea. It's some kind of tomato from the garden. What kind? Well -- it's supposed to be a Black Krim. That's what the label at the base of the plant says: Black Krim. But -- after one look at these tomatoes -- this is anything but a Black Krim.

This is -- what we call in the tomato world -- a "cross." It's also a "mistake." It's not what it's supposed to be. Is it a tomato? No doubt. But it's no tomato like I've ever seen before. It's quite unique actually. I'll probably never see anything like this again. I did not plant a "Red Pear" variety tomato. I did not intend to plant one.

But I have one just the same.

How did I get this cross? Good question. This is one of many starter plants grown from seed that I provided to Fred Hoffman -- aka -- Farmer Fred Hoffman of KFBK-KSTE fame. Is it his fault? No, I don't think so. Fred started a number of plants for me this year -- including four or five Black Krim plants. I gave all -- but one -- away to other gardeners. They all have normal, productive, Black Krim plants.

So what gives then?

It's highly possible that the seed for this "Red Pear" variety got into the packet of Black Krim seeds at the source. In this case, I ordered my Black Krim seeds from Totally Tomatoes. Now -- before I blame them let me state this: I ordered a number of tomato seed varieties from Totally Tomatoes last fall. In almost every single case -- they have developed into healthy, strong, productive tomato plants.

So -- yes -- I will order from them again.

So -- where did it come from then?

I'm not sure. I'll probably never know. My guess is -- and this is just a guess mind you -- that the seed that resulted in this mistake came from the source -- Totally Tomatoes. If all of the Black Krim plants provided by Fred had turned into this strange Red Cherry variety -- then I might be casting a glance of doubt in his direction. But -- this is the only Black Krim tomato plant that is not producing Black Krim tomatoes.

Therefore -- I blame the source.

Finally -- and most importantly -- how do they taste? Well -- that's the dirty rotten secret. Honestly? It's not very good. In fact -- it's probably the worst vine-ripened tomato I've ever tasted. It's not terrible mind you. But it's nothing like the lip-smacking taste you get from a time-treasured heirloom plant -- or even a standard hybrid sadly enough.

Dog Days of Summer? Meet the Dog from the 2009 Bird Tomato Garden: The Mysterious -- and not really all that tasty -- Red Pear.

Melons R Us

It's melon season in the Sacramento Valley -- did you know that?

You can tell by the roadside stands that are popping up here and there right off freeway exits. I've got one at Elkhorn and Highway 99. Chances are -- wherever you are in the San Joaquin Valley -- you've got your own.

And one of the biggest items on display? None other than red, ripe, tasty watermelons.

Watermelon season has arrived in abundance. Not only at the roadside stands -- but also in our North Natomas Back 40.

To be honest -- I've been growing melons for years. Well -- let's be honest now shall we? I've been "attempting" to grow watermelons for years. Oh sure -- the vines will grow like nobody's business. But the fruit that comes off those vines has been less than -- well -- exciting.

Let's just say that I've cornered the market on growing "personal serving size" melons. In other words -- every attempt at growing watermelons or cantaloupe has resulted in softball sized fruit.

I knew I was doing something wrong -- but what?

Help arrived in the form of some friendly watering advice from none other than Fred Hoffman -- aka -- Farmer Fred Hoffman of KFBK/KSTE gardening fame. Thanks to his timely advice -- I am no longer watering melon plants five or six days out of the week for five minutes at a time. Instead -- the water schedule is down for just TWO DAYS per week -- with each session lasting 20-25 minutes for each watering day (depending on the heat factor for any given week).

To be honest? It's worked wonders. The vines pictured above are the result of that watering pattern and some experimental fertilization. And -- this year -- rather than just plant one variety of watermelon or cataloupe -- I decided -- why not six? And that's what I have in the garden this year. A hodge-podge of melon plants producing all shapes and sizes of melons.

One of those plants -- the Moon and Stars pictured to your right -- is producing some rather monster like results. I'm told a Moon and Stars should be producing a "personal serving size" melon. The picture of the melon to your right? It was taken a week ago. It's still growing. It's twice that size now. It will be anything but a "personal sized melon," unless that person is the Incredible Hulk.

The instructions tell Venus and I that the Moon and Stars melon -- which is an heirloom melon I might add -- has bright yellow spots over a green rind (thus the name Moon and Stars). Furthermore -- I've learned through research that the melons will be ripe for the picking when the actual MOON part of the melon (a much larger bright yellow spot) appears.

As of this time -- no bright yellow moons have appeared on the Moon and Stars melons that are growing in the backyard. I just recently learned that there are several different varieties of the Moon and Stars melon -- and some don't develop moons. Great. So how does one tell when they are ripe?

Good question. Still trying to figure that one out. Get back to you when I do.

As I mentioned previously -- Venus and I planted a number of varieties this year. On the watermelon end of the spectrum -- we chose three different types. One of which I've already mentioned (Moon and Stars) -- and the other two were Tom Watson (an heirloom variety) and Sweet Diane (which I grew in last year's garden). In the area of cantaloupe -- we planted "cantaloupe" (surprise!) and Muskmellon. What's a muskmellon? Well -- it looks and tastes just like...........a cantaloupe.

Fortunately -- you can tell when both varieties are ripe as they turn from a light or dark green to a pleasing orange or yellow. They also tend to "disconnect" themselves from the vine they are on -- or perhaps that's just garden critters at work. Venus and I harvested our very first muskmellons and cantaloupes this past weekend. No -- they are not the size that I wanted -- but there are many more in the garden that are.

The taste so far? In a word? Outstanding. But what vine harvested fruit isn't? Vine-harvested fruit is much like a tree-ripened peach. The sugar content is at its optimum level -- ready for consumption -- and a bite of heaven on earth.

Venus and I will be sampling a LOT of melons over the next couple of weeks in the garden -- including some of the largest watermelons I have ever grown. That's right! I'm proud to announce (brag) that I am actually growing WATERMELON sized watermelons in ye olde backyard. I'm not sure of the exact variety yet -- but I suspect that these are from the Tom Watson plants. They look nothing like the Sweet Diane melons that I grew last year and are growing again in the backyard this year (the rind is much lighter).

The most surprising discovery so far of this year's melon garden? Melons don't need to be started months ahead of schedule like tomato or pepper plants. A lot of our plants came from directly placing seed in the ground when the weather warmed up last May. Sure -- we did have a couple of starter plants that we added to the seed mix -- but you can never tell what plant is what now. They've all grown together!

Our biggest challenge so far this year? Keeping the cats OUT of the melon bed! There's nothing more upsetting than discovering that some cat has dug up half of your newly emerged starter plants -- plants that came from the seed YOU planted a week or two earlier.

But -- we got our revenge. More on that -- in a later post.....

It Couldn't Have Happened to a Nicer Guy

Actually, that's kind of not true. It could have happened to me! But that's another story for another day.

If you haven't seen it yet, the Sacramento Bee's Debbie Arrington did a nice little article on one of my gardening mentors (and former radio co-worker). Not much about the article surprised me because Fred Hoffman, aka the famous "Farmer Fred Hoffman," and I have talked about every gardening issue under the sun over the years.

I first started following Fred's show because I was forced too. No! Really! It's true! As the news "voice" on KSTE Radio in 1999, I was actually located in a different building several blocks away from the main KSTE studios. And if I missed my cue -- tsk, tsk, tsk. As they say in radio, better hit your breaks, because you'll never get that moment in time back.

I wouldn't actually meet Fred until some years later when I started working weekends at KFBK. I wasn't gardening yet, that was still a number of years off, but I sure enjoyed whatever produce Fred brought into the building. And, whenever the talk turned to tomatoes (my favorite subject), I actually listened intently.

Fast forward a couple of years and Bill Bird suddenly finds his grandest wish come true -- married to the most beautiful woman in the world -- my true gardening inspiration in life -- Venus. Not only do I have a new wife -- I've got a new house with a yard to landscape, and that's when the years of listening to Fred's gardening show and advice really began to pay off.

Although I've learned a lot from trial and error, I've also tried to follow Fred's helpful advice whenever possible. It's whenever I don't follow it, do I usually wind up regretting it. And then I'll usually hear the music in one way or another from my gardening inspiration in life. "Did Fred tell you to do that," Venus will ask in an accusing sort of way. And when the inevitable reply of "No" comes out of my mouth, the retort is usually:

A. Why Not?
B. You're an idiot
C. Do I have to do everything around here?
D. All of the Above

Sacramentans are truly blessed to have some of the best gardening soil, weather and growing conditions known to all mankind. We're equally as blessed to have the garden advice of Farmer Fred Hoffman.

Farmer Fred's Greenhouse

I should be gardening.....

This thought is on the mind of more than one gardener this weekend following three gorgeous days of sunshine last week.

But, as luck would have it, Mother Nature played a cruel trick on all of us gardening types by moving the sun out -- and the stormclouds in -- just as many of us were ending our workweek. I emerged from my office Friday evening hoping for a glimpse of the sunshine that I'd been hearing about - only to be greeted by a stiff, cool, breeze.

Bummer.

So, with weekend projects on hold, I thought I'd take the time to update you on the status of plants currently growing in the greehouse that belongs to famous Sacramento gardener and radio broadcasting legend, Fred Hoffman, aka "Farmer Fred."

Fred and I first met years ago when I was still in the business of broadcast radio news. He would later work alongside my wife, Venus, another former reporter at NewsTalk 1530, KFBK (seems all Sacramentans are "former" KFBK employees).

Fred, as you might be able to guess, has served as my "mentor" through the years. If I sometimes ignore his good advice, I usually wind up regretting it for one reason or another (there's a method to his madness). I built my first, raised, gardening bed at his urging. And, I'll take credit where credit is due, I introduced Fred to that wide, wonderful world that is heirloom tomatoes.

He's still not a big fan of the Green Zebra -- but that's another story for another day.

Fred has a couple of things going for him -- first and foremost -- his wonderful wife. But he also wisely invested in some land years ago when land could be purchased cheaply. And he's got a nice little setup that would make most gardeners salivate. Lord knows, I have.

Fred has also been nice enough to start a lot of my plants in the previous year of two, courtesy of his greenhouse. All of these plants aren't for me, of course. Fred does starts for a lot of neighbors, friends and fans of the show. And he's just got a wonderful system -- a way of doing things -- that results in garden success. More importantly, he's got a way of doing things on the cheap.

The photos of tomato and pepper plant starters that you see here were taken about a week ago, so these plants are quite a bit larger now. His starters are a little ahead of mine -- but then he got started a week or two earlier than I did too. Still -- there's no denying the benefit of a real greenhouse.

Soon, Fred and I will begin the process of "hardening off" our tomato and pepper plant starters. This is perhaps the most crucial part of starting plants indoors from seed, and the source of frustration for many growers. Venus and I spent months last year growing and nurturing a number of plants from seed, only to lose them in the space of one day after they had been placed outside.

If murdering tomato plants were a criminal offense, I'd be serving a life sentence right now.

It seems hard to believe that these baby plants will soon be delivering a bountiful harvest this summer that will go into a number of delicious and healthy dishes, but they will. They will also contribute to a number of canning efforts involving sauces, salsas, whole tomatoes, pickled peppers and numerous other creations.

Venus and I have come to discover that "canning a harvest" is almost as rewarding as a fresh summer salad.

Every once in a great while, you will hear my voice on Fred's show. And that's usually on the KSTE broadcast, because I'm just not getting down to the studio that early in time for the KFBK show. Sleep is important to me you know.