Super Bore Or Super Bell?

Best Super Bowl Ad EVER!

With all due apologies to the fresh corn industry, I must admit, I thought the Bud Lite Corn Syrup commercial was the funniest thing I've seen on TV in quite some time. Don't get me wrong! I love me some corn. I personally believe corn grown in the Sloughhouse area of Sacramento County is, in fact, the best corn in the world. I wish no harm upon our fine corn farmers!

But that Bud Lite Corn Syrup ad that ran during last Sunday's Super Bore was absolutely hilarious. I am still busting up over the line of: "would you please smoke outside?" However, Bud Lite's pun and knock against all thing corn syrup will not stop me from purchasing Sloughhouse corn. Additionally, you will not find any Bud Lite in the Bird refrigerator. However, if you look hard enough, you just might find a bottle of the High Life. But, enough of that already. I've strayed much too far.

Cat Bowling Pins?

My friends, rather than watch the NFL bestow yet another title on Tom Brady last Sunday (BORING), my mind was positively fixated on the image that appears to your very left. Can you guess what those cups might represent? Bowling pins for the naughty Cat that is Lenny? That is a good guess, but NO. And although Lenny has already cast a rather envious glance at the cups placed on that bedroom window, I hope that cat knows better.

I hope.

Those cups placed against yonder windowsill represent the start of my summer 2019 vegetable garden. Would they represent the 13 varieties of heirloom tomatoes I will be growing this summer? Good guess, but also wrong. It's still a bit too early for that activity, though some have already started. No, the seeds placed in those cups all contain the same variety: The California Wonder Bell Pepper.

Peppers!

First introduced in 1928, the California Wonder is now a sweet staple in nearly every backyard garden. These are these big and blocky peppers that can be found in nearly every dish, ranging from salads, stir fry meals, fajitas or just brushed with olive oil and placed on a grill. You can also find them in home-canned items such as tomato sauces and SALSA. Roasted or fresh, the California Wonder represents one word: SUMMER.

Garden grown Bell Peppers are nearly as popular as home-grown tomatoes. According to the Masters of Horticulture Blog, "Bell peppers are the most commonly grown pepper in the United States.  According to the National Nursery survey, 46-percent of gardeners grow them every year.  Second, according to the same survey, bell peppers are the third most popular vegetable grown in American gardens.  Third, the bell pepper is the most consumed pepper in America.  According to the Agricultural Marketing Resource Center, Americans eat 9.8 pounds of them per year.  And finally, bell peppers are the only peppers in the genus that do not produce capsaicin.  Capsaicin is the compound that makes most members of the genus Capsicum hot."

Perfect for Seed Starting Efforts

The reaction from most of my pepper growing friends is going to be pretty typical, I think. People like Jake Seed and Dave Jesse are thinking along the lines of: "PFFFT! ROOKIE!" And you know what? They're right. To them? My pepper planting efforts are rather late.

You see, while the vast majority of us are thinking about  the Peppermint Wishes and Candy Cane Dreams of the Christmas Season, the pepper guys are thinking about peppers so hot they would melt Santa's tongue. There's a reason why Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer gives these homes a wide berth. These guys are serious. January 1st doesn't just signal the start of the new year. It means it's time to plant pepper seeds of all shapes and sizes for the upcoming summer gardening season.

Planting Seeds

Why start pepper seeds so early and why am I late? There's a good answer for that. Pepper seeds tend to grow much slowly than tomato seeds, which essentially sprout and grow like weeds until they are transplanted. As KFBK NewsTalk 1530 Gardening Show Host Farmer Fred Hoffman put it so eloquently to me once: "PEPPERS NEED HEAT!" Unfortunately, there's little heat to be found during the Northern California months of December, January and February. So, pepper growers get very inventive to creating the kind of heat they need to give seedlings the boost that they need.

I recall that one of these growers, and I won't mention names (Dave Jesse), placed his seeds in sealed starter cups and placed them under a woodstove. Where his cat promptly found them. Great fun ensued.

What's the payoff for my seed starting efforts? 13 large and healthy California Wonder Bell Pepper starter plants. Do I intend to plant all 13 in my summer garden? Are you nuts? Gardeners do not live on bell peppers alone. This means I will have plenty to share, or trade, once the transplant season begins (provided it stops raining at some point).

Danger Will Robinson! Danger!

Hopefully, the seedlings I have planted against my bedroom windowsill will sprout and start to grow (albeit slowly) in another day or two. Also, hopefully, the giant shade trees that dot this Citrus Heights neighborhood don't blot out the needed sunshine.

Finally, hopefully, here's hoping a certain Maine Coon cat can ignore the urge to start swatting what's been carefully placed on a windowsill that he can easily reach.

Hope springs eternal.

We Wish You a Merry Citrus!

Loaded Bearss Lime: Bird Back 40

We Wish You a Merry Citrus!

And a Happy New . . .Lime.

BOOOOOOOO!

This is the train wreck that happens when writer's literally write themselves into a corner. Didn't know writers could do that? If you've read any of my previous stuff, you'll know that's entirely possible. I start out with what I think is a fairly good idea -- and then it just all goes to Heck in a Handbasket. Steve Mallory might suggest that I've "Gilded the Lilly," but that would require a lilly to begin with.

With the summer vegetable garden a distant memory and fall crops like onions, garlic and spinach poking out of the soil (let's not forget the fall potato crop!) -- it's time to appreciate the other nice things about fall and the impending onset of winter.

Bearss Lime Tree

The best part about this time of the season: It has to be the fresh citrus -- like the fresh Bearss Limes pictured above. This is the third year of production for the Bearss Lime that Venus and I planted into a barren side yard, and we're off to a nice little start. The lime appears to like where it's planted. It's growing quickly. And, after yielding a single, solitary lime last season, we've jumped ahead this year to about 30-40.

Not bad if I say so myself.

But the Bearss Lime isn't the only citrus tree offering in the North Natomas Ranch that's showing impressive color and production this year. Thanks to some mighty fine advice by a rather popular NewsTalk 1530, KFBK Garden Talk Show host -- the Birds are harvesting one of the sweetest, tartest pieces of citrus that I've ever tasted.

Ripe Owari Satsuma Mandarins

I wanted to plant the sweetest variety of citrus I could find. Venus, who is not a fan of the seeds found in the Dancy Tangerine, wanted something seedless. Farmer Fred Hoffman didn't think twice when he responded with the advice of "Owari Satsuma Mandarin."

I searched high and low for that Owari Satsuma Mandarin before I settled on a tree that had just been delivered to my local Home Depot. In most cases I get most of my fruit trees from local nurseries because they offer the Dave Wilson selections that I'm searching for, PLUS, the stock is better quality than what you'll find at your local Big Box Store. Plus, nurseries tend to stock those hard to find varieties that other places don't.

Owari Satsuma Mandarin: Year 1

But the story is different when it comes to citrus. Four Winds Growers, located in Winters, CA, is the primary supplier of citrus trees to all nurseries AND big box stores in Northern California. Nurseries tend to get better looking stock upon delivery, but if you camp out at your local big box store at just the right moment, you just might find yourself a steal of a deal.

That's where I discovered the Dancy Tangerine, loaded with bright orange tangerines I might add (a salivating sight to any lover of citrus), four short years ago. It's where I also picked up the Owari Satsuma just last year. It had just been unloaded from a delivery truck, but didn't last long in the Home Depot nursery aisle. It was the best looking one of the bunch delivered on that cold December day, and I must admit it looks pretty good in the backyard.

Dancy Tangerines

Although the vast majority of citrus ripens in the fall, not all varieties are ready for harvest at once. I was pleasantly surprised to discover that the Owari Satsuma started to ripen in October and is now delivering a sweet and tasty crop of mandarins. The Dancy Tangerine, meanwhile, is still green. Based upon harvests from the previous years, these won't start coming ripe until around Christmas. That's right about when the mandarins will begin to play out.

As for the Meyer Lemons? The news is both good and bad. We have a heavy crop on one tree -- and nary a lemon to be found on the other. I was also rather SHOCKED to discover that the larger of the two Meyer lemons was GROWING multiple shoots and branches in this cold fall weather, after not doing much of anything this spring.

Fall Growth on the Meyer Lemon

Good news? I suppose so. But if a cold frost should decide to hit in the next week or six (some winters are worse than others), those tender new shoots are toast. They will freeze. They will burn. They'll turn a none-too-pleasant shade of black. I'd rather the Meyer Lemon send out loads of new growth in the spring, but let's be honest: Meyer Lemons don't exactly cooperate with what the owner wants. I suppose I should be happy with the new growth spurt and leave it at that.

Despite the good news, we're not done yet. In fact, you could say we're just getting started. We manage to plant something new every year -- and this year is no different. South Natomas grower and citrus aficionado Nels Christensen gifted us with a Cara Cara Orange tree late last spring and it is still sitting in a pot, waiting for its permanent home. The process of grafting will soon yield other varieties of citrus. Short and sweet? There's a long way to go.

I could write all day about citrus -- but alas -- it's time for dinner. Tonight's offering? Turkey Pho, with leftover turkey, and pho broth generously sprinkled with fresh lime juice.

A Lip Smackin' HARVEST FESTIVAL!!!

Alright -- I'm not too proud to admit it. I do have this rather strange habit of drooling in front of any sort of vine-ripened fruit. I'm sorry -- but it's just one of those annoying little habits that developed over a period of decades. I can't help myself. Really, I can't! I mean -- just look at those LUSCIOUS -- not-quite-ripe -- blackberries to your right!

How can anyone not drool at a sight like that?

However -- I do have a eerie feeling that is why the good Master Gardeners at the Fair Oaks Horticulture Center haven't extended an invitation to me yet to attend the upcoming Harvest Festival. I can't blame them really. The whole idea is to *excite* people into growing fresh fruit. Looking at some weirdo who can't keep his mouth shut in front of a blackberry vine? Not what the good people at the Horticulture Center ordered.

Alas -- I can't blame them.

But photos such as this -- and a whole lot more -- is what you'll find at the upcoming Harvest Festival -- which takes place on the first Saturday in August -- August 7th -- at the Fair Oaks Horticulture Center on Fair Oaks Blvd. in the wonderful community of Fair Oaks no less (11549 Fair Oaks Boulevard to be exact).

Venus and I visited just under two months ago -- during a free open house -- where we were looking for and obtained table grape starter plants. And not just any table grapes mind you -- but the table grapes that tend to peform exceptionally well in our Northern California climate. While Venus got advice from one of the Master Gardeners to your left -- greedy Bill Bird was putting his fat paws on every table grape variety he could find (no -- I didn't take them all people -- there's lots and lots left).

But -- I really appreciated this visit. First -- it was a chance to talk to not one -- but several Master Gardeners who were there to answer every question you had -- no matter how weird. Trust me -- I had lots of weird questions. Secondly? These people really know what they're talking about when it comes to any kind of fruit or vegetable. You want advice? You need help? In need of a pep talk? A dry napkin? You'll find it at the Fair Oaks Horticulture Center.

Well -- maybe not the napkin...

At any rate -- I can tell you -- without a doubt -- that these people know what they're talking about and then some. I have the proof. The six table grape vines that Venus and I purchased on that day are growing like weeds in the Bird Back 40. Some have already reached the top of our five-foot-tall trellis -- and we're in the process of encouraging lateral shoot growth now in hopes of enjoying a somewhat small harvest next season.

But -- I'll tell you what... I couldn't have done it without them....

But if you want to taste some tasty fruit -- or take a big, juicy bite out of a vine-ripened heirloom tomato -- or perhaps sample a berry or two? Harvest Festival at the Fair Oaks Horticulture Center is the place to be. That's where Venus and I also discovered -- and filled up on I might add -- these Sharp Blue Blueberries that were READY FOR HARVEST.

That's right. The gardeners picked them. We ate them.

Only too happy to oblige...

Seriously though -- if you like "growing your own," or you're looking for some tips as to what fruit trees should be planted in the back or front yard? I highly suggest you skedaddle your way to Fair Oaks a week from this Saturday.

Not only will you find fruits and vegetables in abundance -- but you just might meet up with some rather famous garden types as well. No -- not us -- but perhaps Farmer Fred Hoffman? Yes -- the star of the "KFBK Garden Show" on NewsTalk 1530 KFBK  and "Get Growing" on Talk 650 KSTE will be there from 8:30-9:15 AM to speak on the subject of "Weeding Out Garden Myths."

Trust me -- after reading this blog for a couple of years? Fred has plenty of "myths" to tell you about -- like our rather *unfortunate* attempt to grow blueberry bushes under our stonefruit trees (didn't work out so well people -- two out of four have kicked the bucket this summer).

And if you're looking for me? Just look for the guy climbing up the peach tree and the unfortunate wife that is Venus attempting to pull me off.

It's fresh fruit season people. Bill Bird can't resist. It's my kind of party.

THE 411:

HARVEST DAY 2010

Saturday, August 7th

8:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m.

Fair Oaks Horticulture Center

11549 Fair Oaks Boulevard

Fair Oaks, CA 95628

Harvest Day 2010 highlights

Speakers:

8:30-9:15

Weeding Out Garden Myths

Farmer Fred Hoffman, Radio Garden Show Host, Lifetime Master Gardener

9:30-10:15

Arboretum All Stars: Why These Plants are Real Champions

Missy Borel, Program Manager, California Center for Urban Horticulture

10:30-11:1 5

Retrofitting For Dummies:

Cool Technology To Easily Upgrade A Water Wasting System

Don Smith, Water Conservation Coordinator, City of Folsom Utilities Department

11:30-12:15

Graze In Your Garden Year Round: Setting Aside Time and Space to Keep Your Harvest Basket Full

Alison Harris, Peas and Harmony LLC, Organic Food Gardens for Homes and Schools

12:30-1:15

Growing Succulents and Other Drought Tolerant Plants in Containers and in the Ground

Ernesto Sandoval, Curator, UC Davis Botanical Conservatory

Other Opportunities:

•Composting display - learn how to get started, see worm composting in action

•Fruit, tomato & grape tasting - sample a variety of fruits, see what you like before you plant

•Irrigation display area - see what’s new with irrigation

•Food vendor - cool off with an iced beverage or enjoy a snack in the shade of the oaks

•Silent auction - get your bid in early on some great gardening items

•Plant Clinic - have a sick plant diagnosed or have that pesky insect identified

•Community Garden and Food Closet - tour flower and vegetable gardens and chat with a gardener

•Support Sacramento County UC Master Gardeners - buy your 2011 Master Gardener Gardening Guide and Calendar

Dirt Moving Done Cheap!

That would be me -- Bill Bird -- the "dirt mover." And I am as cheap as they come since I only charge myself two bottled waters and a 12-pack of beer -- after the moving is done of course.

This old wheelbarrow has seen better days. It's done its share of "dirt moving" as well. I always order in amounts of five cubic yards or more -- which usually means a good five to six hours of "dirt moving" after the load has arrived (I don't move all that fast -- so sue me).

Venus and I needed the dirt for? What else? VEGETABLE GARDENING (see name of blog). It's getitng close to that season you know. After an extended spring of cold, wet and windy weather -- mother nature finally cooperated last weekend with a stretch of days where the weather wasn't half bad.

In short -- it was a good day for hauling loads of dirt.

The wheelbarrow in question? It has been with us since "the beginning." That's right -- it was a wedding present. As I indicated earlier -- it has seen "better days." No better than this in my opinion -- which is how Venus and I received it on our wedding night in Rocklin.

The gift-givers in this case -- NewsTalk 1530 KFKB reporters Marna Davis and Kami Lloyd (Polete) -- made sure to stock it with our favorite beers. I must admit -- it brought a tear to the eye of Bill Bird when I first saw it. I'm a sucker for these kinds of things.

But what would you rather have? A wheelbarrow full of dirt? A wheelbarrow full of rock?

I'll take the beer -- thank you. This is a no brainer.

But this is the last time our wedding gift looked this good. It helped landscape our postage stamp-sized backyard in our first North Natomas home. It hauled 5 yards of planter mix for the first raised bed we built together -- five yards of bark to mulch the yard -- five yards of "Sonoma Gold" landscaping rock and sand and stones for a small walkway.

It only took us about six months to landscape a yard barely big enough to turn around it. After that -- it sat unused -- against a fence for a number of years.

But with the new home? It has found new life and lots of new work. We're three years and counting into landscaping the new backyard -- and we're not even half finished yet. So -- Venus and I put ye olde wheelbarrow to work this past weekend -- filling up another raised bed that Venus has already started planting with seed.

How much is five yards of cubic planter mix? Does "a lot of dirt" provide the proper answer? It was more than enough to fill up the bed in question -- and the leftovers are sitting in a big pile in the backyard.

Oh -- don't worry about us. This mound of dirt will play host to some squealing kids later this weekend (The cat known as Precious is really looking forward to this) -- but it will also serve a purpose as we move forward with efforts to put in a few more planter beds and a few spare yards of lawn (OK -- lots of lawn. I'm a sucker for lawns).

As for the Planter Mix in question? This is the famous "50/50" mix from Hastie's Capitol Sand and Gravel -- and a good deal at that. I had been using a different yard for my planter mix and mulch needs -- but grew tired of receiving loads that were a tad small for my liking.

No such concern this time. Keep that name in mind: Hastie's Capitol Sand and Gravel. And -- should you get the urge to move some dirt -- well please feel free to give me a call! The dirt moving "operation" is just getting started.

A Very Berry Experiment -- AKA: They Stay

A Word to the Wise.

Before heading out to your favorite nursery/big box store this weekend to fulfill your gardening duties or fantasies -- I post the following update in response to the previous posting of "A Very Berry Bird Backyard."

It is in this section where I detail the efforts that Venus and I made to increase our berry plantings around the yard. Following the advice of Folsom City Arborist Ken Menzer -- we completed a project by planting bare root blueberry bushes beneath our cherry and peach stone fruit trees.

We took this action after attending a Home Orchard class taught by Mr. Menzer last month. It was there where he offered the following advice of planting blueberries beneath stone fruit trees. To paraphrase: "Blueberry bushes and stone fruit trees have a symbiotic relationship. Blueberry bushes are shallow-rooted -- and help open fissures or pockets that benefit the fruit tree root systems located below. At the same time, the leaves of the stone fruit trees provide cover from the afternoon sun for blueberry bushes planted below."

The Folsom City Arborist offered the same advice with the planting of herbs like Spearmint underneath apple tree plantings. The symbiotic relationship -- he indicated -- was similar.

I want to advise my vast readership (all 2.5 of you) that Venus and I are not "experts" in the gardening field. We are not Arborists. We are not Certified Master Gardeners. We're not even close. We are just your normal, everyday, couple. We love to garden. We blog about gardening. But that is as far as it goes.

I offer this word of warning because it seems that we've set off a small firestorm of controversey regarding this planting of blueberry bushes beneath stone fruit trees. Please be advised that there ARE -- indeed -- Certified Master Gardeners who do NOT agree with what we have done here.

One of these Master Gardeners who I mention often on this blog -- and is probably the most popular and well-known gardener in all of Northern California is Farmer Fred Hoffman -- who hosts the Sunday gardening shows on NewsTalk 1530 KFBK and Talk 650 KSTE.

I refer to Fred often because he is perhaps one of my biggest gardening mentors. I've learned a lot from listening to his show -- and also learned a great deal when I was working with Fred at both stations. Although I didn't work directly with him -- I could hear him from my perch at the "News Update Desk."

It's safe to say that Mr. Hoffman was not at all pleased with the blueberry planting efforts highlighted in "A Very Berry Bird Backyard" -- but he's not the only one. Others in his corner include Redwood Barn Nursery Owner Don Shor, who holds a Bachelor of Science degree in Environmental Horticulture and Angela Pratt, who holds a similar degree in Horticulture and is also the creator and the brains behind Sacramento Gardening.

Let me tell you this much: These people know what they are talking about when it comes to any sort of landscaping effort around the front or backyard. They know far more than I'll ever know in five lifetimes of gardening. They know what works. They also know what doesn't work.

Planting blueberry bushes underneath fruit trees? According to all three? It's NOT GOING TO WORK.

Get that? Let me repeat: IT'S NOT GOING TO WORK.

Why? Well -- the first warning came from Fred Hoffman AFTER we had completed our planting efforts. In his words: "What is the pH of the soil where you planted the blueberries? If it is above 6, you may have poor production. This is why blueberry planting around here is recommended for containers, where you can control the pH."

Not only that -- he provided this link to the Dave Wilson Nursery website -- where the number one piece of advice was:

"To make growing Blueberries easier, Do NOT Plant them in the ground!!"

Oh boy. Oh joy. I could just imagine the look on my wife's face after she worked so hard to put these blueberry bushes underneath the fruit trees in question. And now we had to pull them out? But why would Ken Menzer indicate this was an acceptable pairing?

Fred's advice on the matter continued with the following link from the University of California Cooperative Extension. This helpful information also contained the highlighted words of advice:

"A major requirement, however, is that blueberries require an acidic soil with a pH of about 5.0 to 5.5. Blueberries are in the same family as azaleas and rhododendrons, and need similar growing conditions."

Fruit trees like peaches -- I was to later learn -- do best in a soil pH range of 6.0 to 7.0. Blueberry bushes require an even more acidic soil with a pH of 5.0 to 5.5. Yes -- while both pH readings are considered to be in the "acidic range," the requirements of both do not mix well together.

In other words -- if the following information and advice are true -- stone fruit trees and blueberry bushes make for poor cousins and should not share the same living quarters.

Yet -- at the same time -- both Venus and I keep reading the notes and advice we learned from Ken Menzer. He didn't just have "words of advice," he illustrated the pairing together in a series of slides from his home orchard.

And there it was: visual proof. Blueberry bushes planted directly beneath stone fruit trees. Not just any blueberry bush mind you -- but HIGHLY PRODUCTIVE bushes that were loaded with berries.

Pictures do not lie.

Now -- I offer this posting to you as a warning. It's not that I do not believe or reject the advice of well respected gardeners like Fred Hoffman, Don Shor or Angela Pratt. All three of them are on the same page when it comes to time-tested advice of where blueberry bushes should be planted -- and where they should not be planted.

I will also add that whenever I've ignored the good advice offered by one or all three -- I wind up regretting it a great deal. Not all of the time mind you -- but most of the time.

But as far as we're concerned? We're stubborn. We're going to leave the Southern Highbush Blueberry bushes right where they are planted. If gardening can be singled down to one word it would be EXPERIMENT.

As far as our little experiment is concerned: Time will tell. The blueberry bushes that we planted last weekend will either produce -- or not produce. We're taking a chance at this -- but it's a chance we're willing to take.

As for you? Well -- it's up to you. Consider yourself *informed.*

The Blog Days of Summer

I'm still trying to get last night's Giants meldown to the Colorado Rockies out of my head.

But that famous call from Duane Kuiper -- "this isn't good folks" -- keeps circling around my brain.

As bad as Giants pitcher Merkin Valdez must have felt last night after giving up that awful Grand Slam to Ryan Spillborghs in the bottom of the 14th inning -- Giants fans feel even worse. It's like a sucker punch to the gut. This one will be hard to recover from.

Damn Giants.

This is indeed the famous "Dog Days of Summer" for Major League Baseball teams. It's when the Contenders separate themselves from the Pretenders. It's when the strong teams make a push. It's when the teams that have teased you all season long sort of fall by the wayside.

It's also a time when the summer garden gives that last big push of produce heading into fall. There's no doubt about it. The days are changing. It's getting dark a little earlier each night. Some of those August mornings have been -- dare I say it? A bit "chilly?"

Change is on the way -- whether you like it or not.

This is also the "Dog Days of Summer" for the backyard garden. Or -- in this particular case -- just dogs.

Case in point -- the bowl full of vine-ripened tomatoes to your immediate left. These look a little like Yellow Pear tomatoes -- except they're not yellow. They're red. They are also about three to four times the size of your standard Yellow Pear, which is a much-loved, cherry heirloom from decades past.

What is this then? To be short, sweet and honest -- I really have no idea. It's some kind of tomato from the garden. What kind? Well -- it's supposed to be a Black Krim. That's what the label at the base of the plant says: Black Krim. But -- after one look at these tomatoes -- this is anything but a Black Krim.

This is -- what we call in the tomato world -- a "cross." It's also a "mistake." It's not what it's supposed to be. Is it a tomato? No doubt. But it's no tomato like I've ever seen before. It's quite unique actually. I'll probably never see anything like this again. I did not plant a "Red Pear" variety tomato. I did not intend to plant one.

But I have one just the same.

How did I get this cross? Good question. This is one of many starter plants grown from seed that I provided to Fred Hoffman -- aka -- Farmer Fred Hoffman of KFBK-KSTE fame. Is it his fault? No, I don't think so. Fred started a number of plants for me this year -- including four or five Black Krim plants. I gave all -- but one -- away to other gardeners. They all have normal, productive, Black Krim plants.

So what gives then?

It's highly possible that the seed for this "Red Pear" variety got into the packet of Black Krim seeds at the source. In this case, I ordered my Black Krim seeds from Totally Tomatoes. Now -- before I blame them let me state this: I ordered a number of tomato seed varieties from Totally Tomatoes last fall. In almost every single case -- they have developed into healthy, strong, productive tomato plants.

So -- yes -- I will order from them again.

So -- where did it come from then?

I'm not sure. I'll probably never know. My guess is -- and this is just a guess mind you -- that the seed that resulted in this mistake came from the source -- Totally Tomatoes. If all of the Black Krim plants provided by Fred had turned into this strange Red Cherry variety -- then I might be casting a glance of doubt in his direction. But -- this is the only Black Krim tomato plant that is not producing Black Krim tomatoes.

Therefore -- I blame the source.

Finally -- and most importantly -- how do they taste? Well -- that's the dirty rotten secret. Honestly? It's not very good. In fact -- it's probably the worst vine-ripened tomato I've ever tasted. It's not terrible mind you. But it's nothing like the lip-smacking taste you get from a time-treasured heirloom plant -- or even a standard hybrid sadly enough.

Dog Days of Summer? Meet the Dog from the 2009 Bird Tomato Garden: The Mysterious -- and not really all that tasty -- Red Pear.

Melons R Us

It's melon season in the Sacramento Valley -- did you know that?

You can tell by the roadside stands that are popping up here and there right off freeway exits. I've got one at Elkhorn and Highway 99. Chances are -- wherever you are in the San Joaquin Valley -- you've got your own.

And one of the biggest items on display? None other than red, ripe, tasty watermelons.

Watermelon season has arrived in abundance. Not only at the roadside stands -- but also in our North Natomas Back 40.

To be honest -- I've been growing melons for years. Well -- let's be honest now shall we? I've been "attempting" to grow watermelons for years. Oh sure -- the vines will grow like nobody's business. But the fruit that comes off those vines has been less than -- well -- exciting.

Let's just say that I've cornered the market on growing "personal serving size" melons. In other words -- every attempt at growing watermelons or cantaloupe has resulted in softball sized fruit.

I knew I was doing something wrong -- but what?

Help arrived in the form of some friendly watering advice from none other than Fred Hoffman -- aka -- Farmer Fred Hoffman of KFBK/KSTE gardening fame. Thanks to his timely advice -- I am no longer watering melon plants five or six days out of the week for five minutes at a time. Instead -- the water schedule is down for just TWO DAYS per week -- with each session lasting 20-25 minutes for each watering day (depending on the heat factor for any given week).

To be honest? It's worked wonders. The vines pictured above are the result of that watering pattern and some experimental fertilization. And -- this year -- rather than just plant one variety of watermelon or cataloupe -- I decided -- why not six? And that's what I have in the garden this year. A hodge-podge of melon plants producing all shapes and sizes of melons.

One of those plants -- the Moon and Stars pictured to your right -- is producing some rather monster like results. I'm told a Moon and Stars should be producing a "personal serving size" melon. The picture of the melon to your right? It was taken a week ago. It's still growing. It's twice that size now. It will be anything but a "personal sized melon," unless that person is the Incredible Hulk.

The instructions tell Venus and I that the Moon and Stars melon -- which is an heirloom melon I might add -- has bright yellow spots over a green rind (thus the name Moon and Stars). Furthermore -- I've learned through research that the melons will be ripe for the picking when the actual MOON part of the melon (a much larger bright yellow spot) appears.

As of this time -- no bright yellow moons have appeared on the Moon and Stars melons that are growing in the backyard. I just recently learned that there are several different varieties of the Moon and Stars melon -- and some don't develop moons. Great. So how does one tell when they are ripe?

Good question. Still trying to figure that one out. Get back to you when I do.

As I mentioned previously -- Venus and I planted a number of varieties this year. On the watermelon end of the spectrum -- we chose three different types. One of which I've already mentioned (Moon and Stars) -- and the other two were Tom Watson (an heirloom variety) and Sweet Diane (which I grew in last year's garden). In the area of cantaloupe -- we planted "cantaloupe" (surprise!) and Muskmellon. What's a muskmellon? Well -- it looks and tastes just like...........a cantaloupe.

Fortunately -- you can tell when both varieties are ripe as they turn from a light or dark green to a pleasing orange or yellow. They also tend to "disconnect" themselves from the vine they are on -- or perhaps that's just garden critters at work. Venus and I harvested our very first muskmellons and cantaloupes this past weekend. No -- they are not the size that I wanted -- but there are many more in the garden that are.

The taste so far? In a word? Outstanding. But what vine harvested fruit isn't? Vine-harvested fruit is much like a tree-ripened peach. The sugar content is at its optimum level -- ready for consumption -- and a bite of heaven on earth.

Venus and I will be sampling a LOT of melons over the next couple of weeks in the garden -- including some of the largest watermelons I have ever grown. That's right! I'm proud to announce (brag) that I am actually growing WATERMELON sized watermelons in ye olde backyard. I'm not sure of the exact variety yet -- but I suspect that these are from the Tom Watson plants. They look nothing like the Sweet Diane melons that I grew last year and are growing again in the backyard this year (the rind is much lighter).

The most surprising discovery so far of this year's melon garden? Melons don't need to be started months ahead of schedule like tomato or pepper plants. A lot of our plants came from directly placing seed in the ground when the weather warmed up last May. Sure -- we did have a couple of starter plants that we added to the seed mix -- but you can never tell what plant is what now. They've all grown together!

Our biggest challenge so far this year? Keeping the cats OUT of the melon bed! There's nothing more upsetting than discovering that some cat has dug up half of your newly emerged starter plants -- plants that came from the seed YOU planted a week or two earlier.

But -- we got our revenge. More on that -- in a later post.....

It Couldn't Have Happened to a Nicer Guy

Actually, that's kind of not true. It could have happened to me! But that's another story for another day.

If you haven't seen it yet, the Sacramento Bee's Debbie Arrington did a nice little article on one of my gardening mentors (and former radio co-worker). Not much about the article surprised me because Fred Hoffman, aka the famous "Farmer Fred Hoffman," and I have talked about every gardening issue under the sun over the years.

I first started following Fred's show because I was forced too. No! Really! It's true! As the news "voice" on KSTE Radio in 1999, I was actually located in a different building several blocks away from the main KSTE studios. And if I missed my cue -- tsk, tsk, tsk. As they say in radio, better hit your breaks, because you'll never get that moment in time back.

I wouldn't actually meet Fred until some years later when I started working weekends at KFBK. I wasn't gardening yet, that was still a number of years off, but I sure enjoyed whatever produce Fred brought into the building. And, whenever the talk turned to tomatoes (my favorite subject), I actually listened intently.

Fast forward a couple of years and Bill Bird suddenly finds his grandest wish come true -- married to the most beautiful woman in the world -- my true gardening inspiration in life -- Venus. Not only do I have a new wife -- I've got a new house with a yard to landscape, and that's when the years of listening to Fred's gardening show and advice really began to pay off.

Although I've learned a lot from trial and error, I've also tried to follow Fred's helpful advice whenever possible. It's whenever I don't follow it, do I usually wind up regretting it. And then I'll usually hear the music in one way or another from my gardening inspiration in life. "Did Fred tell you to do that," Venus will ask in an accusing sort of way. And when the inevitable reply of "No" comes out of my mouth, the retort is usually:

A. Why Not?
B. You're an idiot
C. Do I have to do everything around here?
D. All of the Above

Sacramentans are truly blessed to have some of the best gardening soil, weather and growing conditions known to all mankind. We're equally as blessed to have the garden advice of Farmer Fred Hoffman.

Farmer Fred's Greenhouse

I should be gardening.....

This thought is on the mind of more than one gardener this weekend following three gorgeous days of sunshine last week.

But, as luck would have it, Mother Nature played a cruel trick on all of us gardening types by moving the sun out -- and the stormclouds in -- just as many of us were ending our workweek. I emerged from my office Friday evening hoping for a glimpse of the sunshine that I'd been hearing about - only to be greeted by a stiff, cool, breeze.

Bummer.

So, with weekend projects on hold, I thought I'd take the time to update you on the status of plants currently growing in the greehouse that belongs to famous Sacramento gardener and radio broadcasting legend, Fred Hoffman, aka "Farmer Fred."

Fred and I first met years ago when I was still in the business of broadcast radio news. He would later work alongside my wife, Venus, another former reporter at NewsTalk 1530, KFBK (seems all Sacramentans are "former" KFBK employees).

Fred, as you might be able to guess, has served as my "mentor" through the years. If I sometimes ignore his good advice, I usually wind up regretting it for one reason or another (there's a method to his madness). I built my first, raised, gardening bed at his urging. And, I'll take credit where credit is due, I introduced Fred to that wide, wonderful world that is heirloom tomatoes.

He's still not a big fan of the Green Zebra -- but that's another story for another day.

Fred has a couple of things going for him -- first and foremost -- his wonderful wife. But he also wisely invested in some land years ago when land could be purchased cheaply. And he's got a nice little setup that would make most gardeners salivate. Lord knows, I have.

Fred has also been nice enough to start a lot of my plants in the previous year of two, courtesy of his greenhouse. All of these plants aren't for me, of course. Fred does starts for a lot of neighbors, friends and fans of the show. And he's just got a wonderful system -- a way of doing things -- that results in garden success. More importantly, he's got a way of doing things on the cheap.

The photos of tomato and pepper plant starters that you see here were taken about a week ago, so these plants are quite a bit larger now. His starters are a little ahead of mine -- but then he got started a week or two earlier than I did too. Still -- there's no denying the benefit of a real greenhouse.

Soon, Fred and I will begin the process of "hardening off" our tomato and pepper plant starters. This is perhaps the most crucial part of starting plants indoors from seed, and the source of frustration for many growers. Venus and I spent months last year growing and nurturing a number of plants from seed, only to lose them in the space of one day after they had been placed outside.

If murdering tomato plants were a criminal offense, I'd be serving a life sentence right now.

It seems hard to believe that these baby plants will soon be delivering a bountiful harvest this summer that will go into a number of delicious and healthy dishes, but they will. They will also contribute to a number of canning efforts involving sauces, salsas, whole tomatoes, pickled peppers and numerous other creations.

Venus and I have come to discover that "canning a harvest" is almost as rewarding as a fresh summer salad.

Every once in a great while, you will hear my voice on Fred's show. And that's usually on the KSTE broadcast, because I'm just not getting down to the studio that early in time for the KFBK show. Sleep is important to me you know.