The Show

Wonderful Pomegranate in Full Bloom

It's Memorial Day Monday at the Bird Ranch and the Show is on full display. It happens at this point every year it seems. Some years the show is a little better than others. This happens to be one of "them years." The Show is on.

I am, of course, referring to the show that our pomegranate tree is putting on. Largely hidden from the rest of the world, our four year old Wonderful Pomegranate is erupting with one of the most incredible and brilliant flower displays I've ever seen.

A Colorful Flower Show

Why did I stick this thing in a side yard? Why am I that dumb? While I knew that I wanted a pomegranate tree in the fruit salad Bird Back 40 collection, based upon my enjoyment of them as a child, I had forgotten the rather brilliant display this tree had given me as a child all those years ago in mid-1970's Modesto.

The tree that inspired me all those years ago is still alive and kicking, believe it or not. Located in front of a Norwegian Avenue home near what used to be an old-style A&W drive-in restaurant, it is well manicured and is as productive as ever. Hello old friend. It's good to see you again.

A Native California Pollinator

Given another chance? I would have stuck the Santa Rosa plum tree in the side yard and put the showy pomegranate out front.

This is going to be the heaviest year yet for pomegranate production thanks to some uber-pollination efforts that are currently taking place. A close examination of this tree yields the discovery of multiple pollinators. I spotted several of the Halictus species, aka sweat bees, just going to town on the coral red flowers and bright yellow stamens. The tree is very close to a mason bee home that I received as a gift several years ago, and they were out in abundance as well.

Hummingbird in Flight: Center Right

Honeybees also could not resist the lure and aroma of these tempting flowers, many of which have been transformed into small pomegranates. And just when I thought the show couldn't get any more diverse, in dropped a neighborhood hummingbird for a sweet drink of pomegranate flower nectar. He quickly zoomed away before I could get a proper closeup, but he's clearly visible in the one photo I managed to snap.

Short and sweet? I love the Show. This tree literally hums with life and production during the spring. Lenny, the Giant Maine Coon Kitten, enjoys the shade it provides below. It also serves as a base from where he can conduct a surprise charge and attack against the unsuspecting dog, aka, Ultimate Digging Machine.

Heavy Crop Now Forming

The pomegranates that are now forming will grow and add size and girth through the summer months. When they turn a glossy dark red in the fall, usually late October, it's time to harvest. I've learned, through experience, that harvest season is fairly quick. You can't allow pomegranates to hang on a tree like citrus. If they are not harvested quickly, they will split and spoil easily.

This means lots of gifts for family, friends and neighbors. It also means lots of pomegranate juice, which is a wonderful addition to freshly-squeezed lemonade. Pomegranates are also great for fresh eating, though they can be messy. Even after 40 years, nobody has quite discovered how to take the mess out of pomegranates. It's enough to make any mother of an eight year old pomegranate crazed boy cringe in terror.

It's pomegranate season. The show is on.

Wait! We Haven't Had Winter Yet!

Santa Rosa Plum in Full Bloom

Spring has Sprung. All about the yard. In the front. In the back. The signs are everywhere. This winter has seen some frost. We've seen some cold days. But we've seen very little in the way of rain.

Which makes me a bit nervous when I see signs like the one to your right. It's a pretty sign to be sure. If you dedicate your yard to all things vegetable and fruit gardening -- the yard can look a little gray and gloomy during those cold winter months.

But that all changes with the onset of a new season. Suddenly? That damp, dark and dreary landscape has exploded in a virtual kaleidoscope of colorful flowers and blooms. Not everything has busted out for the 2012 season just yet.

Flavortop, Fantasia and Arctic Jay Necartines

But it's clear that the starter's gun has gone off.

The nectarines and Santa Rosa plum have been the first to emerge from their long slumber. There are green buds and a single white flower on the Flavor Finale Pluot. The grapes (which I've yet to cut back and prepare) are even showing those familiar signs of green.

Guess what the next Back 40 project is?

Although I welcome the end of a dark and dreary winter season -- the onset of spring does bring some concerns. We received little in the way of actual rainfall this year. During normal years? It takes a good set of mud resistant boots to traverse much of the muddy landscape that is the Bird Back 40.

Daffodils Jumping Out of Planter Box

Not this year. Normal tennis shoes will gain access to every corner. This is a first. I've never seen it quite this dry before.

That is a concern -- because if you're going to garden -- water is an essential element. Yes -- you can install the most efficient of drip and sprinkler systems. Yes -- you can take measures to ensure that not a drop of this precious resource is wasted. But -- the bottom line is -- even the most efficient of watering systems puts a strain on a valuable resource we didn't get much of in the way of rain and snowfall this year.

So -- while I welcome spring and the colors that the season brings to our backyard of fruit and vegetables -- I keep a wary eye trained on the sky.

Is that all for this year?

Let's hope not. Spring is here.

A Dead Man's Party

Outside the CRFG Scion Exchange

Dear Mom:

These are my kind of people. They're weird. I'm going to learn a lot from them!

Much Love,

Bill

Suffice to say -- I've been looking forward to this event for the better part of a year. The event I'm speaking of? The annual scion exchange held by the Sacramento Chapter of the California Rare Fruit Growers -- or CRFG. These people are PLUM crazy.

Plum Crazy?

How is this a true statement? Do you see how many different varieties of PLUMS are on this table to your left? Case closed. Heaven awaits. Wait -- make that fruit tree heaven.

This is the next and most natural step that a person of questionable sanity takes when said person plants a backyard full of fruit trees. One variety of Pluot simply isn't enough. Not when there are five or six or seven different varieties that ripen at different times of the year.

Don't have room for five different varieties of pluots? No problem! That's the beauty of the scion exchange and the mad science called "grafting." One tree can hold many different varieties of fruit that ripen at different times of the year. No doubt that you've ran across something called a "Fruit Salad" fruit tree in your local nursery or Big Box store. The fruit salad tree offers three varieties of fruit grafted onto a single tree.

Inside the CRFG Scion Exchange

This is somewhat similar -- except you control what varieties are grafted. It's also not unheard of to graft Asian Plums like the Santa Rosa to an Apricot tree. Don't think that will work? Talk to one of the mad scientists at any scion exchange. They have stories to tell and tips to share. If you think it can't work, you will find someone to tell you that it can.

I suppose it would be wise to tell you, in simple terms, what a scion actually is before I drag you into this murky madness of year-round fruit and citrus production. A simple definition, provided by Merriam-Webster dictionary is: "a detached living portion of a plant (as a bud or shoot) joined to a stock in grafting and usually supplying solely aerial parts to a graft."

Nectarine Scions (Twigs)

In other words -- it's a twig that's been snapped off or cut off a fruit tree during the dormant season (winter counts as dormant season for fruit trees). That twig is then attached to another tree through the grafting process. If the graft "takes" or is successful -- the twig will sprout new leaves in the spring and will begin producing fruit over the next year or two.

Thanks to recent developments and techniques in the grafting process, most graft attempts are quite successful now. This wasn't always the case. There was a time and day when the process of grafting resulted in a success rate of 50% or less. I should know. I watched my father-in-law attempt to graft something (I can't remember what it was) to my mother's apple tree once. The experiment failed. It was never repeated.

Handy Dandy Grafting Tool (Gift From the Wife!)

But there are new techniques and tools that have been developed since that failure that have made the process of grafting almost foolproof. That, in turn, has led to the creation of a select group of people who are conducting experiments that Baron Victor von Frankenstein never would have dreamed of.

Ten different grafts on one apple tree? Sure! Why stop there? Graft a nectarine to a peach tree? Sounds good to me? Cherries to plums? Hey man! Whatever makes you happy!

CRFG Member John Valenzuela Explains Grafting Process

In the center of this recent scion exchange madness, a woefully under prepared Bill Bird would meet this guy: John Valenzuela. True to the patterns on his shirt -- John believes in growing fruit. Not just any fruit -- but all types and lots of them. John would be just one helpful person that I would run into during this exchange, as spread his own style and brand of Home Depot "You Can Do This" confidence.

My hands literally shook with excitement as I picked up bag after bag of fruit tree scions for literally every fruit tree and very fruit variety under the sun. You like nectarines? How does 20 different varieties of nectarines sound? Are plums your bag? There are HUNDREDS of different varieties here -- take your pick. Not sure what you want? Ask John!

Lady Williams Peach

It was then I noticed that most people had come prepared for this event with rolls of tape, pens, bags and markers. Once a certain variety of scion was selected, the name and information was written down on tape, attached to the twig in question and dropped into a bag. Onto the next station.

Bill Bird -- as you might imagine -- brought nothing. How was I going to keep track of all this stuff? Not to worry. CRFG members can spot a new member in their midst. They are usually the people standing in the middle of the madness, eyes wide open, sometimes drooling (OK -- in my case -- drooling).

Apple Scion Table

Someone -- I can't remember who -- would be kind enough to wrap some tape around a spare pen, stick it my hand, and tell me to get moving. Move -- I did. First to the plum table for that variety called Fairchild. Then, I would proceed to hop, skip and jump over to the pluot table where I discovered scions for Dapple Dandy, Flavor King and Flavor Delight! Then it was back to the plum table -- then cherries -- then nectarines! Back and forth! Back and forth!

One gets kind of dizzy collecting scions.

Those collected twigs of apples, pluots, nectarines, plums and cherries are currently sitting inside of a plastic baggy, kept moist at the bottom of the wife's vegetable crisper. She's just thrilled by this development -- but not to worry -- as yours truly will take the first steps into the world of fruit tree grafting later today.

Grafting that cherry to the cat's tail? Hey now -- that just might work....

My thanks to John Valenzuela and other CRFG members who only too happy to guide a lost person through the fruit tree jungle. John, a Horticulturist, Consultant and Educator, can be reached through his website. Access the CRFG website here, and the Sacramento Chapter is always welcoming new members to the madness.

Heaven is...

Tree Ripened Santa Rosa Plum Ready for Picking

Heaven is....Life with the wife that is Venus.

Heaven is...Happiness.

Heaven is...Santa Rosa Plum season.

I must admit -- I've been waiting for this. Not a year or two mind you -- but a lifetime. You don't remember the simple joys of life until they are gone forever -- and you wish you could have them back -- just for a moment or two.

But you can't. The simple joys of life are memories of a simpler time. And unless you've cracked the H.G. Wells code for The Time machine, you can't visit them again.

But I'm here to tell you boys and girls -- that you can come close. Close indeed. I've been there. I was there just tonight.

Santa Rosa Plum Tree-Bird Compound

My memories of Heaven are fresh plum season in mid-1970's Modesto -- and a gigantic, towering, fifty foot tall plum tree across the street from 309 Ribier Avenue. I don't know how it got there. It was just "there" by the time I noticed it. And, you could always count on said tree to deliver a wallop of a harvest.

Heaven was climbing ten-to-15 feet up in those fruit laden branches -- finding the most comfortable spot to lean on and enjoying plum after plum after plum until my fingernails and hands were stained a dark purple. I never did find out what kind of plums they were. All I can tell you is that they were delicious -- and they were bountiful.

That plum tree offered up many a weekend meal or after-school snack during fresh fruit season. The neighbors didn't mind much. In fact, they rather welcomed the sight of me high up in that tree. Because -- soon -- with the onset of hotter days -- the thousands of pieces of leftover fruit in that tree would grow soft.

Santa Rosa Plums-4th Year Crop

And then -- PLOP! Plop on the ground they went. Plop on the neighbor's freshly poured concrete driveway they went, irritating a one Olin Johnson. If the plums weren't plopping on Olin's freshly poured concrete driveway -- the birds that raided that plum tree with regularity -- were leaving something else behind.

Plums make you regular -- much to Olin's chagrin as I recall.

I've never forgotten feasting on those tree-ripened plums all those years ago. I've also never had the opportunity to run across another plum tree like that in the 35-plus years since those special days. I was somewhat distressed to see that the plum tree that so offended Olin Johnson and his freshly poured concrete driveway had been cut down during my last visit back to the old neighborhood.

Of course -- Olin was long gone by this time. There wasn't even a stump to serve as a reminder that a magical plum tree rested there. It was a plum tree that just didn't feed Bill Bird -- but entire neighborhood of young boys just like Bill Bird and -- well -- generations of other "birds."

4th Year Crop-Lush With Plums

It's safe to say that I have waited to repeat this moment since Venus and I first planted our Santa Rosa plum tree four years ago in our North Natomas compound. She would come to discover that it would be the first of many such trees -- but the Santa Rosa was the first.

Although my hope is that the Santa Rosa would be similar to the plums I snacked on decades ago on Ribier Avenue, I realized after the first small crop that it wasn't. The tree delivered another small crop during its second year -- and last year's harvest of 30-to-50 plums was enough to warrant this joyous blog posting.

Ripe for the Picking -- and Snacking!

But it still wasn't what I wanted. What I yearned for is a return to the days when I was a 12-year old boy with enough boundless energy to leap into plum trees with a single bound, hang upside down on a sturdy branch, and snack away until my stomach couldn't hold another bite of plum.

I suppose I'm here to tell you in an excited way that I reached that special nirvana tonight. No, I did not climb said tree. Bill Bird is a tad heavier now than he was 35 years ago -- just a tad. And that "boundless" energy that 12-year old boys have vanishes somewhere -- I'm not really sure as to where.

But that didn't stop me from reaching up to feed on a four year old Santa Rosa plum crop until I reached that special fruit "nirvana." It arrives when you've had just enough. You've eaten your fill. You cannot think of eating another. And yet -- when that hunger returns tomorrow or the next day? There is more than enough to meet said desire.

Ultimate Digging Machine Tenderizing Kitten

As I was feeding the Ultimate Digging Machine, Bandi the Mutt, her share of Santa Rosa plums, it struck me. I had indeed had my fill. I had eaten enough to the point where I was actually sharing plums with the dog we brought home from Oregon from last summer.

It was at that point that Nirvana struck. Had I fed plums to Bon-Bon the family mutt in 1970's Modesto? The faithful family dog that helped raise a family of four children, including the youngest? A boy who loved to climb the nearest fruit trees and eat his fill, while tossing scraps to the ground?

For an instant -- just an instant -- I found myself there. The moment I'd waited to repeat for decades came and went with a flash. The smile had I had on my face as I walked back inside was hard to describe, and also brought questions from the wife that is Venus.

And she's still not quite sure why I'm not interested in having dinner tonight.

A GIANT of a Day!

Baseball is back, baby!

Here is Northern California -- all is just peachy keen! There might be a bad bout of peach-leaf curl on the peach trees thanks to some late spring rain and cold weather -- but baseball is back in the San Francisco Bay Area and life is just fine.

And it does appear -- once again -- that the San Francisco Giants motto for the 2011 season will be TORTURE. After an AT&T opener like fans experienced today (a 5-4 come from behind NAILBITER over the Cardinals) -- how could one expect any differently?

But -- hey -- it's baseball, right. Whaddya want? Another three months of the Sacramento KINGS? Another season of Alex Smith at QB for your San Francisco 49ers?

No -- thank you -- I'll pass. Gimme some Giants baseball -- with a side of your Sacramento River Cats on a warm summer evening on the banks of the Sacramento River.

Heaven!

Despite what appears to be yet another lousy spring for us gardening types -- things are a changing for the better in the Bird Back 40. Yes indeed -- the grapevines a growing! There appears to be a WHOPPER of a crop on the Santa Rosa Plum tree -- and for the first time ever -- Flavor Finale Pluots on our pluot tree which is now entering its second year of production. We didn't get pluots last year -- so this will be a first for us.

A second spring swarm from the Hello Kitty HIve

But the bone-chilling sunny afternoons aren't holding down the colony of bees in the Hello Kitty Hive -- which swarmed for a second time this week. They are kind of tough to see in the mass of vines that is the Dinner Plate Honeysuckle bush -- but trust me -- they are there.

And when the bees aren't swarming about the yard? They're doing a pretty good job at what I wanted them to do: pollinate various crops here and there.

Case in point? The wife that is Venus and I are heading for an impressive pea harvest from vines that we allowed to grow through the winter. To put in bluntly? We're loaded.

Venus and I have been hit and miss with our pea plantings -- mostly miss. During the past couple of years, we've always planted seed during the first week or two of spring. But by the time the vines finally reach the desired size where they can produce? Hot weather sets in. And nothing knocks off a nice pea crop like successive 90-degree days.

The tomatoes might love it -- but peas are a cool weather crop. Once summer checks in, pea crops check out.

Did someone say peas?

So this year Venus tried something different. Rather than plant in February -- she planted in early November. The intent was not to get a fall crop of peas -- although it is possible. Nope -- the hope is that the seeds would sprout just before the winter freeze set in. Did they survive that freeze? It appears that they not only survived -- they loved it.

There are a few plantings in the Bird backyard that really thrive in cold, wet and wintry conditions. Artichoke plants are one of them. Artichoke plants are gluttons for winter punishment. Two weeks of non-stop winter rain and cold? Bring it on. Wind gusts of 35 plus? Is that all you've got?

Venus suspected that peas could not only absorb the same abuse, but continue to grow through the winter months. Guess what? She's right. The pea seeds that she planted in November didn't necessarily grow to towering heights during the cold weather. But they appear to have developed strong root systems.

Monster peas growing up bamboo support system

So when the first warm, hint of spring days arrived? The pea vines shot out of the ground like a cannon and started marching up a bamboo tee pee that we had assembled earlier. When they began to flower two to three weeks ago -- the vines hummed with that unmistakable sound of foraging honeybees.

We didn't do a whole lot of fall or winter vegetable gardening this year. A death in the family will knock you off the gardening track for awhile. It's tough to find enjoyment in the dirt when a family member is suffering. Suffice to say that the onion and garlic crops will be substantially smaller this year.

But chalk one up for the peas -- and a bounty of a 2011 harvest.

When a Nectarine Blossoms...

Artic Jay, Fantasia and Flavor Top Nectarine Trees

I feel an extra special sense of joy when fruit trees begin to blossom. It means that fresh fruit season isn't very far behind. My gardening insanity reaches entirely new levels when I stand in the front yard - looking up at a flowering Santa Rosa plum tree -- hoping to find a sign of a bee or any other pollinator on tender blossoms that are now just starting to unfurl.

The neighbors think I've gone nuts -- AGAIN! But there is a method to my madness. If I spot a pollinator on the plum? I hope the same pollinator makes a similar trip some 75 feet away in the backyard to a Flavor Finale Pluot tree that is flowering for the first time since I planted it about a year ago during the 2010 bare root season.

Artic Jay Nectarine Blossoms

Pluots are special trees. But they require a pollinator to produce fruit. I have that pollinator in the form of the Santa Rosa plum. But is it planted close enough? Will the colony of bees that are now streaming daily in and out from the neon pink Hello Kitty Hive favor both blossoms during the same trip?

Questions, questions! Time will tell...

The gardening experiment known as Backyard Orchard Culture or "Orchard Insanity" as I call it is now in its second year in the front yard of our North Natomas fruit farm. The three nectarine trees that I planted in a corner of the yard last year are flowering to life again. The chilly nights and bone-chilling rain we received last week didn't seem to bother the Arctic Jay White Nectarine much. She was the first to open up. The Flavor Top and Fantasia yellow nectarines are not far behind.

Although I had my doubts about this planting concept -- it's working better than I expected. You can grow fruit trees in tight spaces after all. And although the hardest part of the procedure is hacking and whacking four-or-five foot tall trees back to knee level -- it doesn't seem to have caused much of a problem.



Center Cut, Arctic Jay Nectarine

You can easily see where I cut the Arctic Jay back last winter after planting in the photo to your right. It was nothing more than a single stick after I got done with it. But new branches emerged over the spring and summer -- and were pruned back carefully to limit growth. I never let any branch get beyond five or six leaf-sets before lopping it off with my Corona cutters.

But I noticed something both interesting and uplifting. With every cut I made? Two or three new branches emerged. Know what that means? It means two or three new branches to hold delicious, tree-ripened nectarines! That's what it means!

There are some gardeners who will allow fruit trees to grow for at least three years before allowing it to produce any fruit. That means any fruit that forms in the first, second and even third years is picked off and thrown away. The thinking behind this practice is that you give a fruit tree time to develop strong root and branch systems. The fruit will come later.

Personally? I think the people who think in this manner are as insane as I am. Not allow fruit to ripen? That's a crime against humanity. So -- any nectarines that do result from the blossoms that are now opening have a breakfast or lunch date with my kitchen table. We don't let any fruit or citrus go to waste here!

The nectarine trees that are now blossoming in the corner of my front yard will almost certainly grow at a much more rapid rate than they did last year. My thinking in this matter will not change. No branch will be allowed to grow more than five leafsets before it has a date with my sharpened Corona choppers.

Center Cut, Flavor Top Nectarine

By the third year these trees will have probably reached a height of six to seven feet and will not be allowed to grow any taller. They can most certainly spread out a bit and take advantage of the room they have. That much we will allow.

But -- I'm getting a ahead of myself. As of right now? We have blossoms. Let's hope that the wife that is Venus and I are munching on an Artic Jay White Nectarine later this summer.

What more could you ask for?

That Sweet, Sweet Payoff

And so it begins. Summer fresh fruit season has arrived at last at our North Natomas homestead -- and despite our misadventure with the Lapin Cherry tree earlier this year -- this harvest looks sweet.

Sweet as bubblegum that is.

This year's harvest of Santa Rosa plums will not be a large one -- not hardly. Larger than last year? By all means. But what is really impressive this year is the size of these suckers. They darn near look like nectarines.

I have been watching and patiently waiting for the Santa Rosa harvest for a couple of weeks now. Unlike last year -- I didn't want to jump the gun and harvest a plum that really could have used another week or two on the tree.

Nope -- I'm looking for that special type of harvest -- a special time -- when the fruit is both sweet and tart. If you pick too early? Lots of tart -- no sweet. If you pick it too late? Sweet fruit -- yes -- but also kind of mushy.

And -- usually -- the birds have beaten you too it. Not the North Natomas Birds -- but those of the feathered variety.

Actually -- I am kind of surprised. Although we have several finch families nesting nearby -- they've largely left the plums alone. Nothing has been knocked to the ground yet and only one plum has suffered from a single "peck."

Those are pretty good results.

The harvest of the Santa Rosa plum tree -- or any fruit tree for that matter -- is the final payoff following months of special care and attention. Oh sure -- I know for a fact that there are fruit trees that get absolutely no care and attention whatsoever -- and still manage to turn out a boatload of fresh fruit.

Most of the time? It goes uncollected and "plops" to the ground below. Or it turns into bird food.

But in my case? I care. I can be accused of "caring too much," but this year's harvest is the result of pruning efforts during the winter, extensive fertilization, regular watering, pest control to knock the buggies off and perhaps a midnight dance or love song sung from the front yard porch.

Crazy? Who? Me? Yeah, the neighbors think the same thing too.

But that sweet payoff came just last night. Venus and I both discovered a plum that had the slightest give to a light squeeze. Off with its head!!! Actually -- we picked it -- brought it inside -- cleaned it and sliced it in two.

When the pit popped right out with nary an effort? We both knew -- right then -- that summer fruit season was underway. One bite of one perfectly ripe plum is enough to convince you that all the work -- time and effort was worth it. There are lots of plums and plum trees mind you -- but ours is the best.

This is our all important third year harvest of the Santa Rosa plum. It's not all that large because Venus and I hacked the tree back into a more manageable size over the winter -- cutting away a lot of the growth that would have produced a boatload of hard-to-reach plums this summer. We knew our pruning efforts would result in a reduced harvest -- but it's one of those things that just had to be done.

While the tree will need additional pruning later this summer -- it's now growing in the direction that we want. Rather than have it grow UP -- Venus and I have trimmed and pruned to the point where the tree is growing out in an almost perpendicular direction.

Still to come? Grafting efforts of other plum varieties that will extend the sweet harvest. But we'll save that for another day.

As for now? Time for that sweet, sweet payoff.

A Lizard's Ball Sack

Hmm...

Let's just roll that one around in the back of ye olde cranium for a second or two -- shall we?

During my eons of professional radio broadcasting education at Fresno State University -- the all-knowing professors instructed us to write flowery prose that created an image in the listener's mind. Instead of the line; "it rained real hard here today," we came up with image provoking lines of; "there's a small lake forming at the intersection of Shaw and Cedar Avenues..."

Imagine the image that comes to mind when you think of the phrase: "A Lizard's Ball Sack."

On second thought -- don't.

Yet -- that is how the "significant other" of a well-known Sacramento gardener describes the "look" of an artichoke that is slowly emerging from the center of an artichoke plant. After hearing that line -- suddenly my excitement vanished. My taste for all things "artichoke" went south (probably to Fresno). All I could think of was: Look at Bold Line Above.

First -- I really don't know what a lizard's private parts look like. Secondly -- I really don't want to know. Yes -- we do have small lizards that scamper about here in the wilds of North Natomas. No -- I am not inspecting the private parts of said lizard. And -- in case you were wondering -- no -- I'm not about to "go there."

I don't think the lizard would appreciate the inspection either -- but that's just a guess on my part. I haven't questioned a lizard lately. Have you?

Image provoking comments aside -- I don't think I'm going to surprise anyone with the statement of: Spring Has Sprung. It's fairly obvious. Vast fields of yellow mustard are blooming like mad in North Natomas. The daffodils popped early in February and now the tulips have shown up. The shower of blossoms that emerged from the Santa Rosa plum has come and gone -- and now? We have artichokes.

What's the big deal? Well -- number one -- I think this is the first time I've seen them pop this early. Usually? The first buds on an artichoke plant don't emerge until early to mid April. By the time May and June rolls around? It's fresh artichoke season in the Sacramento Valley. It does coincide somewhat with the start of artichoke harvesting efforts on the coast -- which means the grocery store headlines of "Artichokes: Five for $5" isn't all that far off.

But -- again -- I'm partial to what comes straight out of my backyard. I grew them. I know exactly what I put into them. I know exactly what I'm getting. And what I'm getting is some of the best artichokes you'll find anywhere. My guess is Venus and I will be harvesting the largest 'chokes in another week or two. It sort of depends upon the weather.

Speaking of the weather -- the series of rainstorms that is supposed to hit the Sacramento area this week is coming at an opportune time for backyard artichoke enthusiasts such as myself. I've discovered through experimentation that a heavy dose of water and fertilizer through the prime growing months results in large harvests of not only large artichokes -- but 'chokes that are just as tender.

Yes -- you'll still get artichokes without the increased attention to water and fertilization. The first harvest will still be pretty good. But the second, third and dare I say fourth, harvests will result in artichokes that are smaller in size -- and worse yet -- tough to chew on. How tough? How much do you like chewing on leather?

The wonderful wife that is Venus and I are sharing fertilization duties this year. The lady has hit upon a super-secret (so secret that she won't even tell me) mix of liquid organic fertilizers and I have been spreading nitrogen-rich -- time-release fertilizers such as Osmocote and other pelleted plant foods.

Is there such a thing as too much love for artichokes? If there is -- we haven't found it yet. Lord knows -- we're trying various experiments from year to year. It just doesn't seem to matter much. The more love that you show artichokes? The more love that they will show you in terms of a prolonged harvest.

How long will the harvest be? That depends upon Mother Nature. If the Grand Dame provides us with pleasant spring-time temperatures in the mid 70's to lower 80's -- you can stretch an artichoke harvest for three months. BUT -- the moment the mercury rises above 90? Kiss the season goodbye. The large plants don't like the heat much.

At that point -- they shut down -- die back -- and wait for the cooler breezes of fall. That's when the life cycle begins anew.

As for varieties? That's a good question. Venus and I know we have different varieties of artichokes that are growing out of the same bed. They're easy to spot. But the names were lost years ago. The artichokes that you see in these pictures started from four starter plants that were purchased from an Elk Grove area nursery in the spring of 2003.

They have survived year after year after year of abuse. They have even survived a transplant from one backyard to another. Just like the old Timex watch -- "they take a licking and keep on ticking."

Strangely -- that line brings back the image of a lizard's ball sack.

Pinkston -- clearly -- wants to change the subject.

Of Artichokes N' Blooms

Excitement Level = HIGH!

We're getting close to Bill & Venus Bird's favorite part of the year. More so me than the lovely wife -- but Spring is getting ready to Sprung in ye olde North Natomas Back 40.

The wife loves this time of year too -- don't get me wrong. But she can hardly wait for the 100-degree nights (sans Delta Breeze of course), Johnny Miller calling the play-by-play on KNBR, cats chasing after insect ghosts in the dark backyard night and a refreshing drink containing high-class gin that comes from a plastic bottle.

Now that children -- is a good time for all. I happen to like it too.

Winter is a bit of a bummer for us backyard enthusiasts. Yeah -- you receive reams of catalogs to go through. Seeds must be ordered. Gardens must be planned. But that's all INDOOR work. Meanwhile -- for those of us who would rather be outside in the garden -- all we can do is look out the window at the downpour.

But the first hint of spring for us? That's when the daffodils burst open. We got quite the show this year. Next up? The Santa Rosa plum tree turned bright white with a thousand blossoms.

And now -- finally? The artichoke plants are beginning to perk up and look like artichoke plants again. In another month or two -- the first artichokes will begin to emerge from the nine or ten artichoke plants in this bed. By mid-May? Artichokes will be on the menu just about every night for supper.

There's nothing quite like a meal of a big, meaty artichoke, some melted butter, garlic salt and fresh herbs from the garden. It is Heaven on Earth.

I was a tad worried though -- earlier this year. The freeze that hit in December really walloped the artichoke plants that had emerged last fall. Usually -- artichoke plants emerge in the fall and grow right through the winter months. They are usually quite gargantuan by March and April. But something strange happened this year.

I'm not sure if it was the December freeze or perhaps a neighbor got a tad too generous with some Roundup -- as our plants started to die back in January. Some of the damage -- as the photo to the left illustrates -- is still with us. There was a time when every plant looked exactly like that one leaf. I'd never seen it before.

But -- thinking this could also be freeze damage -- I followed the advice of other well known gardeners who advised "leave it alone." It's true that artichokes do love cold, foggy conditions. But they draw the line when the mercury drops too far -- as it's been known to do in Sacramento. Give them a coastal climate and they'll shower you with love and artichokes.

Most of the time -- we have that. But there are those "exceptions..."

I'm not only happy to see them bouncing back -- but the return of my natural bug hunters brought a big smile to my face. I'm not exactly sure why ladybugs are so wild about my backyard -- but I have them in abundance. They are the best control that I have against the aphids and other pests that will begin munching on the artichokes and artichoke plants later this spring.

Eventually -- the aphids and the heat will always win out the day. But the ladybugs do their part in keeping the bad characters away. Now -- don't get me wrong here. You can't just cut -- steam and eat on home-grown chokes -- unless you really like getting a mouthful of yard critters. They love hiding ON and INSIDE the artichoke.

The best defense then? A good salt water bath is a must once you've brought them inside to prepare for that evening's meal. A good 30 minute soak in a salty brine will remove most of the bad actors -- and you'll be surprised to find out just how INFESTED these things can get.

Bill Bird -- and an overabundance of bugs -- love artichokes.

If you desire artichokes as big as your hand for dinner -- the time to start preparing for that experience is now. I fertilize my artichoke plants regularly -- with both organic and non-organic materials. The plants get a least a gallon of water mixed with Omega 2000 and Maxicrop every week and I also distribute several cups of Osmocote brand fertilizer in the bed during the month of March.

As the weather warms and the plants begin to produce? Normal watering schedules go by the wayside. The bed is soaked thoroughly with a hose on a low stream of water at least twice a week.

This method usually results in a first crop of artichokes that will be large -- meaty and very tender. Successive crops will result in smaller artichokes. And -- as the weather really begins to warm in mid-June -- artichokes take on the consistency of leather. They're still good mind you -- but tough on the teeth!

Perhaps more experimentation is needed? We will be expanding our artichoke planting efforts into a second bed later this spring. The bed is built -- but isn't irrigated yet nor do I have the required planter mix. Put that on the list of "projects to be completed later this spring."

I never do get to all of them.

Oh -- I promised BLOOMS! And here you go! This is another reason to get excited about the approaching change in seasons that is spring. The two peach trees in the backyard are flowering like nobody's business.

Although there are some growers who reccommend that you don't allow a peach tree to produce ANY fruit for the first three years -- well -- I couldn't wait. This O'Henry Peach tree produced a few peaches during the first year. Last year? An avalanche of peaches. The tree had to be culled regularly to keep branches from bending and breaking under the weight of loaded peaches.

As for Year 3? While I really should pull each and every peach from the tree and allow root systems to develop -- you should know me by now. There's peach pie to be had later this summer!