Why is This Man SMILING?

I'm certainly not smiling. Most garden friends that I know of are not smiling because of this rotten stretch of stinky Spring weather. So -- why on Earth is this long-time gardener in a good mood?

Let me introduce you to Mr. Bill Knight of Elverta. Bill likes to garden. Yes he does. But he also likes it when it rains -- and rains again -- and yet again.

You see -- everytime those raindrops fall? Bill makes money.

I suppose an explanation is in order.

Bill Knight is the long-time owner of L and G (Lawn and Garden) Mower Shop in the tiny hamlet of Elverta. His shop is a throwback to another day and time -- when lawn mowers were considered rather "expensive" items. You didn't just toss them out when they broke down.

No -- you took them to people like Bill Knight who got them running again.

Sadly -- in our "disposable" society -- there aren't many lawn and garden shops left around the Sacramento County area anymore. Oh sure -- you'll find a handful. But it's not like you find these places on every street corner.

His shop -- which I love to visit by the way -- is like taking a step back in time. This isn't some "neat n' tidy" Big Box store. This is a man's man repair shop. Got a problem with that two-cycle engine? The lawnmower just kicked the bucket? The riding lawnmower will only go in circles? That tractor isn't getting any traction?

Call Bill Knight in Elverta. He's got the answer. No matter what the engine problem is -- Bill can fix it without fail.

I first met Bill last year when I purchased a used Mantis Rototiller. I wanted to know one thing: did I strike gold with this purchase? Or did I just set a $150 dollar bill on fire? Bill assured me that the engine to the Mantis was in fine working order -- and after a quick tuneup -- I was churning up the yard last spring. The Mantis worked like a charm.

But -- after sitting all winter -- I noticed that my Mantis wasn't performing all that well this spring. It was hard to start. It didn't run well -- and worse yet? When you gave it the gas? Instead of digging up the garden -- it just died.

Something wasn't right. While I'm proud of my knowledge in certain areas -- it doesn't extend to two-cycle engines. If you need an irrigation design? Call Bill Bird. I can solve any problem. Simple electrical jobs like installing light fixtures? Switches? Drilling through walls to install a new outlet? Piece of cake!

But I'm lost around engines. That's why I found myself in Bill's shop earlier this spring -- where he greeted me with a large smile -- and a simple solution to my Mantis problems. One $27 repair job later -- I was out the door and tilling up the yard again.

As for Bill -- well -- as it turns out -- he explained to me one day why he loves rain in the springtime: "Rain causes the grass and weeds to grow," he explained. "So, instead of tilling up or mowing the acreage just once -- spring rains force homeowners to do the job all over again."

And that's when I made the connection and told him: "And those machines break down and everyone calls you, right?"

He nodded rather mischievously.

So -- while the rest of us hear just raindrops? Bill hears the sound of silver dollars slamming down on the patio cover. Somewhere -- close by -- a tractor or a riding lawnmower is about to break down.

As you might suspect -- with all this May rain? Bill's been just a tad busy. I wouldn't be surprised if he's busted a spring or two on his cash register. While the rest of us fret and worry over the weather? Bill just smiles.

You can reach L and G Mower Shop at (916) 992-8426. Bill's shop is located in a tucked away corner at 7813 Rio Linda Blvd. in Elverta. Be advised that Bill closes up shop a tad early on Saturdays and is closed on Sundays and Mondays.

Isn't She Lovely

Isn't she beautiful?

With all apologies to the great Stevie Wonder -- I must say -- I've never seen a more gorgeous sight in all of my life.

This is truly a one of a kind -- work of art.

While I could be talking about my wife (who is pictured to the right) or her new "doo," that she came home with last night -- I'm not.

Nope -- it's that thing of beauty she's showing off -- the most gorgeous heirloom tomato plant that I've seen in my life.

I'd like to take credit for growing this plant. I really would. I'd LOVE to tell you that my thumb is THAT green -- and that I can grow picture-perfect heirloom tomato starter plants -- but that would be a tiny fib.

Or a gigantic lie.

Who is responsible then? It must be Farmer Fred Hoffman! He of tomato fame and the Puff the Magic Dragon Greenhouse?

NOPE!

Don't get me wrong here. I'm not knocking Fred's ginormous heirloom tomato starter plants in the LEAST. He knows how to turn out a good product and has been doing so for year after year after year.

But this didn't come from Fred's garden. It didn't come from my pathetic seed starting efforts either. This little beauty came as a complete shock and surprise. It's one of those "left field" kind of entries that I was not expecting to receive.

But I'll gladly take it -- Thank You Very Much!

This is truly the finest heirloom tomato starter plant that I've ever had the pleasure to run across. It is a "Dr. Wyche's Yellow," named after a Dr. Wyche who supposedly lived in the mountains and fertilized his garden with manure from a nearby zoo. Or -- at least that's the way the legend goes.

It is the most perfect heirloom tomato plant I have ever received or seen. It is a bright green -- thick stemmed monster of a starter plant that offers the most perfect leaf formation I've seen from any heirloom or even hybrid tomato starter plant.

I know what you're thinking: "Bill -- what nursery churned this out?"

The answer? The Nursery of Angela.

Now -- before you rush to open your phone books (or if you're under 40 -- Google "Nursery of Angela") -- understand that the "Nursery of Angela" does not technically exist. It is where Bill Bird received it -- but it's not a business that just anyone can shop at.

The "Nursery of Angela" is actually the fine work of Sacramento grow-at-home heirloom afficianado Angela Lyons -- who I had the opportunity to meet last year when she picked up some starter plants that Fred Hoffman had grown and delivered to my back porch.

I didn't know it then -- but needless to say -- Angela was impressed.

So -- she set about to duplicate that feat this year and present Bill and Venus Bird with the finished product. And boy-oh-boy -- what a finished product this Dr. Wyche's Yellow is. She didn't "duplicate" anything. This is a Grand Slam with two outs in the bottom of the 9th in Game 7 of the World Series kind of entry.

How did she do it? With a greenhouse? NOPE!

Angela -- it appears -- has hit upon some sort of magical solution (which involves some sort of magic waterbed) where she can produce the most picture-perfect starter plants that anyone has ever seen.

This isn't "nursery quality" stuff. This is a step above. This is "Angela Quality."

Good job Angie Lyons. Bill & Venus Bird salute you!

Hot Summer Nights

I'm not entirely sure of course -- but I do believe that's what my tomato plants in the backyard are dreaming of tonight. Perhaps I should go out and ask them. They're not too happy with the downpour of rain we got YET AGAIN today.

Not that I noticed.

Much...

One of the favorite songs of my youth is Suavecito by Malo. Forgive me for going off topic here -- but this posting has absolutely nothing to do with gardening.

But it does deal with my favorite time of the year.

I was happy to read in today's Sacramento Bee that Malo is not only performing again -- but will make an appearance at Cesar Chavez Plaza this Saturday, May 22nd, at an event called "Jammin in the Park."

Venus and I don't make concerts much anymore -- but this is one I'll gladly take in.

It's a reminder of my youth. It's a reminder of a difficult childhood while growing up in Modesto. It's a reminder to me that even during one of the most difficult periods of my life -- this song could take me to a different and happier place.

To me -- this song represents a warm summer night lit with bright lights and glowing stars. It represents a childhood crush with a schoolgirl I've long since forgotten. It's a song of warmth. It's a song of happiness. It's a reminder that better days are to come (and they did).

The Sacramento Bee report from Carlos Alcala calls Malo (and other bands like Santana) part of the great "Latin Rock" movement. Perhaps it is -- but I get uncomfortable with attempts to qualify "Suavecito" as just a great "Latin rock" song. I get uncomfortable with attempts to qualify Malo or Santana as great "Latin rock" bands. Yes they are, but...

How about printing the real truth?

Suavecito is just a great song -- period. Malo is just a great band -- period. Carlos Santana isn't just a "great Latin guitarist," he's just great period. He's one of the most accomplished musicians of his era. I'm still playing the grooves off my "Supernatural" CD -- eleven years after it was released.

We don't call U2 that "great Irish rock band" do we?

Certainly -- there is no doubt that bands like Malo -- Santana -- War and others tapped into that traditional Latin sound and brought it into the mainstream of mass audience rock n' roll. They are to be commended for that. They are a source of pride in the Latino community and that should never be forgotten.

But -- to me? Suavecito is just good music -- period. It's that dreamy warm summer night lit with bright stars. It's that schoolgirl who I've long since forgotten. It's that one classic that even to this day -- brings tears to my eyes.

Happy Mother's Day

To the best wife that any husband could ever ask for -- Happy Mother's Day to my Venus.

I realize that you're not a mother -- yet. But I know -- when I see you with your niece and nephew -- that you will make the best mother in the whole wide world.

A child could not ask for more.

I continue to hope -- pray (and save for that BIG operation) that our wish will come true.

Nasturtiums N' Garlic Oh My!

Hmm....

Can we call this a case of "companion planting" that works?

I think so!

The latest sign of Spring that has finally Sprung in our North Natomas suburban farm is this test companion planting of garlic and nasturtiums in one of the raised beds near the back fence. This wasn't a mistake folks. Venus planted nasturtium seeds and garlic cloves at the same time last fall just to see "what happened."

And this is the show we're getting at the moment. It's just beginning too. For the longest time -- Venus was concerned that the large nasturtium plants growing within the garlic were not going to flower. But that thinking has changed just within the past week.

In other words -- the show is just getting started.

This isn't the only garlic and onion bed where Venus mixed in some nasturtium seed last fall -- but it does appear to be the most successful. The nasturtium plants have grown so large now that they're popping out of the garlic bed.

All appears to be well.

Score a big assist to fellow gardener Carri Stokes on this rather surprising development. I wasn't aware you could even grow nasturtium in Sacramento. Although it's a common sight on the coast of California (some might even call it a weed) -- I thought our climate was just a tad too hot for nasturtium to do well here.

Obviously -- I thought wrong. Carri informed us that she had successfully grown it from seed. We saw the proof in Carri's yard last spring. So -- Venus set about planting her own little nasturtium patch last fall.

Venus' favorite? So far -- that would have to be the "Creamsicle" variety sold in seed packets from Renee's Garden. "Flower treasures for the eye & heart," the packet claims. I guess I can't argue much.

As for me? I tend to like the sharper colors in the mounding "Cherries Jubilee," also offered through Renee's Garden. Venus and I picked up both packets last fall while shopping for seed garlic at Peaceful Valley Farm Supply in Nevada City.

What's the most unique thing about Nasturtium? Obviously -- it's more than just a pretty flower. These are EDIBLE flowers folks. Yes -- you heard me right -- you pull them right off the vine and eat them on the spot. Or -- you can save them to decorate the salad offering later that night.

What's that? What do they taste like? Well -- I suppose you have to try one and find out for yourself!

I'm not sure just how much of a show or harvest that we will get from this little "planting experiment." At some point -- the Sacramento summer gets to be just a tad too much for nasturtium. Like the artichoke plants that are planted nearby -- they will take on a rather unhappy look -- whither -- and eventually perish.

But -- score one for a companion planting experiment for now. Garlic + Nasturtium = SUCCESS!

Dirt Moving Done Cheap!

That would be me -- Bill Bird -- the "dirt mover." And I am as cheap as they come since I only charge myself two bottled waters and a 12-pack of beer -- after the moving is done of course.

This old wheelbarrow has seen better days. It's done its share of "dirt moving" as well. I always order in amounts of five cubic yards or more -- which usually means a good five to six hours of "dirt moving" after the load has arrived (I don't move all that fast -- so sue me).

Venus and I needed the dirt for? What else? VEGETABLE GARDENING (see name of blog). It's getitng close to that season you know. After an extended spring of cold, wet and windy weather -- mother nature finally cooperated last weekend with a stretch of days where the weather wasn't half bad.

In short -- it was a good day for hauling loads of dirt.

The wheelbarrow in question? It has been with us since "the beginning." That's right -- it was a wedding present. As I indicated earlier -- it has seen "better days." No better than this in my opinion -- which is how Venus and I received it on our wedding night in Rocklin.

The gift-givers in this case -- NewsTalk 1530 KFKB reporters Marna Davis and Kami Lloyd (Polete) -- made sure to stock it with our favorite beers. I must admit -- it brought a tear to the eye of Bill Bird when I first saw it. I'm a sucker for these kinds of things.

But what would you rather have? A wheelbarrow full of dirt? A wheelbarrow full of rock?

I'll take the beer -- thank you. This is a no brainer.

But this is the last time our wedding gift looked this good. It helped landscape our postage stamp-sized backyard in our first North Natomas home. It hauled 5 yards of planter mix for the first raised bed we built together -- five yards of bark to mulch the yard -- five yards of "Sonoma Gold" landscaping rock and sand and stones for a small walkway.

It only took us about six months to landscape a yard barely big enough to turn around it. After that -- it sat unused -- against a fence for a number of years.

But with the new home? It has found new life and lots of new work. We're three years and counting into landscaping the new backyard -- and we're not even half finished yet. So -- Venus and I put ye olde wheelbarrow to work this past weekend -- filling up another raised bed that Venus has already started planting with seed.

How much is five yards of cubic planter mix? Does "a lot of dirt" provide the proper answer? It was more than enough to fill up the bed in question -- and the leftovers are sitting in a big pile in the backyard.

Oh -- don't worry about us. This mound of dirt will play host to some squealing kids later this weekend (The cat known as Precious is really looking forward to this) -- but it will also serve a purpose as we move forward with efforts to put in a few more planter beds and a few spare yards of lawn (OK -- lots of lawn. I'm a sucker for lawns).

As for the Planter Mix in question? This is the famous "50/50" mix from Hastie's Capitol Sand and Gravel -- and a good deal at that. I had been using a different yard for my planter mix and mulch needs -- but grew tired of receiving loads that were a tad small for my liking.

No such concern this time. Keep that name in mind: Hastie's Capitol Sand and Gravel. And -- should you get the urge to move some dirt -- well please feel free to give me a call! The dirt moving "operation" is just getting started.

DEMONcello

Beware!

"Danger, Danger," Will Robinson!

Do Not Pass Go! Do Not Collect $200

I'm up early this Back-to-Work Monday with a roiling stomach and a warning: Beware the Demon that comes dressed as a good deed. No good can come of it. Unless a diet of Pepto and Tums really is "your kinda thing."

Do you remember the line "good things come in small packages?" It's a line I used often while dating -- without much success. But -- as it turns out -- I have just that thing sitting in my outdoor freezer at the moment.

It is a bottle of Limoncello that was gifted to me by a gardening friend -- who literally spent hours slaving away in the kitchen to prepare this after-dinner *liqueur* classic that is though to have orginated in Southern Italy. Traditionally -- it is made from the Sorrento lemon -- though most lemons will produce satisfactory limoncello.

Here -- in California -- the "lemon of choice" is one of the best I have ever tasted: Improved Meyer Lemon.

In a nutshell? This is one wild drink. But let this be a warning to you.

FOLLOW LABEL DIRECTIONS

I didn't do that. And now I'm paying for it. It's ten days later -- and I'm still paying the bill. I wonder what my doctor will tell me later this morning?

So -- what went wrong? First -- you must understand what goes into the crafting of "Limoncello." Obviously -- it uses lemons. Not just lemon juice -- which is used -- but the rind of the lemon also plays a key role. This particular Limoncello is also crafted with Everclear -- a 100% wood grain alcohol -- and Vodka.

What does this mean? Well -- if you put a bottle of this stuff in the freezer? It doesn't freeze. That was the first warning that I chose to ignore. The second warning that I also ignored? Limoncello is "an after dinner liqueur that guests are to sip."

Did you say chug? No? What does sip mean? "I can sip mighty fast," ma'am.

Venus and I made the rather fateful decision to break into our special concoction of "lightning in a bottle" a week ago last Friday -- after we had consumed more than a few mixed drinks of the finest gin sold in a plastic bottle. Dinner -- we figured -- would come later.

BIG MISTAKE

It only took one quick shot before we both knew that we had something good on our hands. Sip? Please! Let us remember that I'm Irish. The words "sip" and "alcohol" in the same sentence represent an oxymoron. Besides -- this stuff was far too good to just "sip." One shot of Limoncello demanded another.

It was at this point where Venus made the fateful (and smart) decision to retire for the evening and left her very tipsy husband alone with a shot glass and an open bottle of Limoncello. I am almost positive that I didn't consume more than one or two more shots (a total of three?) before retiring myself -- but then again -- who really knows?

You can probably guess what happened the following morning? Both the lovely wife and I awoke to stomach aches crafted carefully in the Bowels of Hell. The failure to properly read and follow label directions left both of us with holes in our stomachs -- and breakfast that morning was served with a heapin' helpin' of Dr. Tums and Pepto Dismal.

But -- unlike normal hangovers -- this one persisted into Sunday. Certainly -- the pain would end by the start of the work week -- right? Fat chance! Monday came and went -- as did Tuesday -- and my stomach continued to feel like the doozy that Robert Mitchum suffered from in the 1966 John Wayne Classic: El Dorado.

Thornton (John Wayne): “Either one of you know a fast way to sober a man up?”

MISSISSIPPI (James Caan): "Johnny Diamond had a recipe. Let’s see. Cayenne pepper, mustard--the hot kind, ipecac, asafetida, and oil of cloves… or was it? No, it was croton oil."

BULL (Arthur Hunnicutt): Croton oil?! I’ll be a suck-egg mule. You know what that mixture’ll do to a fella?

MISSISSIPPI: Guaranteed kill or cure.

 

After feeding this mixture (which also contained gunpowder) to Mitchum -- our hero spends the rest of the flick doubled over in pain. Although our Limoncello contained none of these ingredients -- I now know just how our hero felt.

 

I should have purchased stock in Tums.

 

I'm not sure exactly when Bill Bird's stomach will start to feel normal again. Certainly -- the pain isn't as bad as it was last week -- and the wife has all but recovered from her malady. The bottle of Limoncello -- meanwhile -- sits in our freezer as a warning.

 

Label directions are to be READ and FOLLOWED.

Thank You Sir! May I Have Another?

The run of good gardening luck just continues to roll our way here at the North Natomas "Home for Wayward Heirloom Tomato Plants."

If that sounds rather facetious -- well Howdy Doo! It is. Our luck has been as absent as a warm spring day in April -- which happened on this date exactly two years ago.

Case in point? This little mess to your immediate right. Can you guess what that is kids? That is heartbreak on a stick. Make that a broken stick. That's actually a tree rose kids -- or what's left of a tree rose after a couple of days of fierce winds howling through the northern area.

We always get the wind just a little bit worse than most neighborhoods. Why? Well -- for one thing -- we're in the riverbottom. It just gusts. Secondly -- North Natomas is devoid of a natural windbreak in the form of mature trees. There weren't any in the riverbottom to begin with (well -- maybe a century or two ago) -- and the landscaping trees that have been planted in this new subdivision are far too small to make any sort of a difference when it comes to slowing down Mother Nature's springtime sneezing fits.

So -- it gusts -- and we deal.

This is not what I expected -- however. In fact -- this was the last thing on my mind. Danger to a tree rose? A well staked tree rose? A well staked tree rose with not one but two stakes? A well staked tree rose next to the house for added wind protection?

Color me surprised. In fact -- color me many different shades of surprised as that busted rose before you is known as a "Weeks 36 inch Twofers." What's a "Twofer" you ask? Well kids -- you're in luck! Because -- according to the Weeks Roses website, the "Twofer" is:

"(Roses that) are guaranteed to cause quite a clamor in your garden. Imagine the excitement of 2 colors of flowers on just one tree. We’ve carefully selected 2 different varieties that are perfectly balanced in flower size, floriferousness, foliage and habit to bud onto our 36″ Dr. Huey rootstock. A real attention-grabber!"

Dear Weeks: Consider my attention "grabbed." Mortified is more like it -- but on with the show here!

The "Twofer" rose now lying in "twopieces" in our Back 40 is the combined varieties of "Livin Easy" and "Easy Going." Venus actually spotted this in a Weeks catalog last year and remarked how much she'd like to have one. How I came into posession of this tree rose is a little bit of a surprise -- because it was not the "tree rose" that Bill Bird was looking for when he went about a shoppin nearly one year ago.

Regular readers of this blog know all too well who I turn too (run crying in desperation) when I have questions: Farmer Fred Hoffman. So -- I emailed him these photos with the question of: "Can it be saved." The thing I like about Fred is his straightforward honesty. He doesn't sugarcoat it. He advised me that the rose is probably a "goner" but also turned to Sacramento's premiere Rosarian -- Baldo Villegas -- for the practiced eye of rose assistance.

Know what Baldo said? It's a "goner." Fred went on to advise that he has also had his share of bad luck with tree roses -- a point backed up by Baldo as well. Their combined advice? Don't buy tree roses unless you really do like the feeling of being whipped with a rubber hose.

Eh -- scuse me -- but I really didn't have a choice in the matter.

Let me explain.

Venus has been asking (pestering) me for years to get the tree rose "St. Patrick" in honor of her mother -- who lost a valiant battle with cancer at far too young an age nearly five years ago. The St. Patrick tree rose was the preferred rose of the late Patricia (Pat) Stromberg. She made sure the St. Patrick was planted in every backyard she helped landscape and it was always the center of attention.

Therefore -- I knew my task last June when it came to fulfilling Venus' birthday request. She wanted a rose on her mother's behalf. Not just any rose mind you. Oh no -- it had to be the St. Patrick. Not only that -- it had to be the St. Patrick tree rose. Nothing else would suffice. It's that -- or try sleeping in the car for the next month Bill Bird.

Now -- I ask the fine ladies who frequent this blog just what happens to the unlucky husband if birthday wishes like this one are not fulfilled? Does a month in the GarageMahal doghouse sound like the appropriate punishment? Hmm??? Oh sure! The GarageMahal is decked out with a flat screen TV and a KEGERATOR. But let's be honest here. That's still a garage floor. It's concrete. It's cold. Try sleeping on a slab, son.

So -- off I went last year in search of Venus' demand. Bare root season was over. That was working against me. The St. Patrick also happens to be one of the more popular varieties. Strike Two. But I found what I was looking for at Capitol Nursery. They had one left. I bought it on the spot over the phone without even looking at it. And I also advised the very happy salesman that I would need a second tree rose to complete the layout -- so just "find something."

Imagine my surprise when I arrived at Capitol Nursery later that day to not only find the St. Patrick, but the Weeks "Twofer" rose that Venus had spotted in a catalog about three months earlier. It was an incredible stroke of luck. Venus gets her St. Patrick. She also gets the "Twofer."

Needless to say -- I wasn't forced to sleep in the GarageMahal for the next month.

I'll be honest. The roses were not in the best shape when I found them. Black spot and other leaf diseases had taken an obvious toll. The Weeks "Twofer" was bent at a crazy angle. It looked nothing like that nice looking rose in the Weeks catalog. I couldn't do much last year other than halt the spread of the leaf diseases with some applications of fungicide -- plus make sure the "Twofer" was planted at an even crazier angle so that it stood "straight up."

After cutting both tree roses back last fall -- I started the "baby effort." They received regular water -- regular fertilizer and regular applications of rose protection fungicides that got rid of the pests and disease.

Sure enough -- both tree roses flowered beautifully this spring. Wouldn't you know it? The Twofer started looking like that tree rose that Venus had admired so much the previous year. The first blooms had just opened to a rather brilliant and dazzling sight -- before those dreaded April winds spoiled the show.

So -- what now? In the words of the late, great John Lennon: it's (Just Like) Starting Over.

Ah, Honey Honey...

You are my Candy Girl...

And you got me wanting you...

The colony of bees that once occupied our "Hello Kitty" Hive are long gone -- but they left a lot of gifts behind. Venus and I still don't know why they up and took flight and left their fine pink home -- but we know one thing for sure:

It wasn't because of a lack of food. Nope -- the little buggers left behind a hive PACKED with frame after frame of wax and honey.

Venus and I haven't really felt the need to go near the hive. It just brings back some rather unpleasant memories of; "why did they leave?" But when Sacramento Bee Garden Writer Debbie Arrington had us break into the hive a couple of weeks ago -- both Venus and I knew that we could not let all of this honey go to waste.

Of course -- that's not why we purchased our colony to begin with. We weren't thinking honey. We were thinking "pollination." We had a hard time believing that a single hive could produce up to 100 lbs. of pure honey -- but after a rather unprofessional harvesting effort this past weekend? WE BELIEVE.

Allow me to demonstrate with said photo? Nope! I know what you're thinking and the answer is no. We did not run out and plunk down $20 for a one-gallon jar of honey. Besides -- the amount of honey in this bowl came out to about 3.5 lbs. And this is just part of the haul.

Needless to say -- the wife and I now have enough honey to last us for a few years.

Getting into the hive isn't easy. It's sticky with honey. The frames are literally glued into the hive body itself. One requires the services of a hive tool to pry these honey-laden frames apart and the curved end of the tool to actually lift the frame out of the hive itself.

But this is what raw honey essentially looks like before all that wonderful processing. Inside of those white and black caps is enough honey to sustain a small army. Bees are wonderful insects when it comes to using every inch of space to pack away as much honey as possible.

Most professional beekeepers use a device called an "Extractor" to remove honey from comb like this. A heated knife is used to literally cut long slices of the comb in this frame. Those slices are then placed inside of an Extractor. After a few cranks? The honey easily separates from frames.

But there's just one problem: Venus and I don't have an "Extractor." We don't even have the heated knife. What did we have? Well -- we did have the all important hive tool which helped a great deal when it came to tearing the comb away from the hive. That comb -- laden with honey -- went into a large mixing bowl.

But the real problem remained: how does one separate a THICK honey from the wax comb? A common strainer would take too long because the honey was so thick. Venus suggested that we heat the mixture over the stove -- which was a fine idea -- except I knew that the wax would melt as well.

Wax with honey anyone? No -- I didn't think so.

And suddenly? I was hit with one of those oh-so-rare "bright ideas." It doesn't happen often folks -- so this is my turn to brag.

Why not fill a sink with hot water and let the bowl containing wax and honey sit on top? Think of it as a double-boiler operation -- without direct heat at the bottom.

What do you know? It worked!

Of course -- it took some time. The honey mixed with wax in this strainer didn't exactly drain in an hour two. Nope -- Venus and I actually went to bed during the straining process. When we woke up eight hours later? HONEY!

But that was just the first straining process we would need. We noticed that a lot of small pieces of wax -- and even a bug or two slipped through the first strainer and into the bowl of honey. Not a problem, since we had a second strainer nearby -- and that one did the trick.

Four or five hours of scooping and straining later? Pure honey. No bugs. No wax. Just fresh, clean, pure, TASTY, honey.

The Food of the Gods.

Of course -- we missed a lot of the honey during our "less than professional" separation job. An Extractor would have removed most of it. But I'm not going to complain about 5.5 lbs. of honey. And keep in mind -- this is just ONE frame inside the Hello Kitty Hive.

There are nine left. And wouldn't you know it? Each one is PACKED.

Time to get to work!

Sugar...

Ah, honey honey...

You are my Candy Girl...

And you've got me wanting you...

It's Enough to Make You DROOL....

Here it is folks! The finished product! If the ole gums aren't drooling yet -- they soon will be!

Pictured to your right? Fresh squeezed Meyer Lemons -- mixed with pure cane sugar -- which makes a mighty fine lemonade. The lemonade in that half gallon jug to the right in this photo is the SECOND half gallon of LIP SMACKING lemonade that Venus and I have squeezed from lemons that we procured straight from the Old Roseville backyard of Greg Damitz -- aka -- the brains behind Roseville Vegetable Gardening.

The jug to your left? That's what we had leftover! That's pure lemon juice folks -- made from some of the juciest Meyer Lemons that I've been lucky to come across. We can use this for a variety of uses.

Venus -- for example? She just loves fresh lemon juice mixed with melted butter and garlic salt. That's her somewhat special liquid concoction that she uses when devouring artichoke leaves from the backyard garden. The lady can also make a mean guacamole. And with fresh lemons? It gets that much....MEANER.

I'm drooling already...